Change of Plans

So I wanted to talk to you about Raiding as Disc Post 3.1, and Raiding Post 3.1 With Multiple Disc Priests.

Instead, I am here to give you boss strats.

Boss Strats: The Loading Screen
Multi Stage Fight, OMG!

Stage One: Assemble the Raid
Oh foolish mortal.  It’s the day after patch day and you want to proceed with your scheduled raid days and maybe even look at that new content they put in.  If nothing else, playing with dual specs in instances is cool, right? 
This stage of the boss fight is your typical Herding Cats situation, just like every other raid you’ve ever done.

Stage Two: Report to the Instance You Want To Do
Let’s say you’ve got Naxx on the schedule (we did).  Show up at the instance and pick a portal.  Execution needn’t be precise, just don’t miss a portal and go sailing off the edge. 
After a minute or two of staring at the loading screen (boss timers are imprecise-new patch content after all!!!!), get kicked back out and receive the Instance Not Found error.

Stage Three: Scout
After a brief kerfluffle in officer chat, send a few intrepid souls with epic flyers to test OS and EoE.  Receive A-OK reports from both.  The rest of the raid at this time stands around Naxx making lewd comments in /raid and making fun of people, usually guildies. 

Stage Four: Head Out!
Have everyone start heading over to OS, because the GM decided to go there even though your disc priest officer is going OMG YUMMY EOE 25 LEWTZ.  PUGGING EOE IS A BITCH WE’VE NEVAR DONE IT AS A GUILD LETS GO.  While said disc priest is pouting, summon half the raid to the stone because they’re too fucking lazy to make the short hop over.  Your scout, who is running around in circles inside the instance, tells you to come in.

Stage Five: “Hey, Guys…”
At this point, several members of the raid make the initial rush to the instance.  They see the loading screen for OS, the bar fills up (YAY, it didn’t even do that at Naxx!) and then…

…they stay there…

“Hey, guys?”

Remember, communication is key there.  Make sure that EVERYONE that is stuck repeats this fact on vent, several times.  They are STUCK on the LOADING SCREEN OF DOOM.

This stage can last anywhere from 45 minutes to several hours.  The raid, in the meantime, is called.

Stage Six: Altitis
You have options for the last stage of the boss.  If you have alts, hop on them while staring at your main hovering in the Unknown.  If you were one of the lucky ones who didn’t get caught, we hate you, go do dailies.  If you manage to pry our main out of there after several hours, be sure to foolishly contemplate doing a heroic.  If you’re one of our tanks, Wreckz, try to get into VH and die on the loading screen somehow.

We’re still trying to figure that one out, by the way.

So my Wednesday night sucked, how was yours?

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  1. #1 by repgrind on April 16, 2009 - 10:13 am

    ROFL. Awesome post.That about covers it.

    here was the first part of my night: Naxx raid called because no one can enter the instance. Spend an hour fishing for the severed arm. Do dailies until you are stricken with loot lag while trying to loot the quest item off of Lord Everburn or whatever his name is for the Argent Tourney daily. Realm goes offline. Get on DK alt on your neighbour’s server. Get stuck in the loading screen for Stocks after spending 45 mins running around Stormwind trying to FIND Stocks because all your other characters spread across 10 servers are Horde. Make a new mage on a random RP server that is online. Level it to 2 then check and see that your server is back up. hurray!

  2. #2 by Brajana on April 16, 2009 - 10:17 am

    http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x241/unemployed-hydraxis/loading-screen-boss.jpg

    That image about sums it up for my guild last night.

    Some people made it into the instance but it was empty or they couldn’t move. Most of us never got past the loading screen!

  3. #3 by rocklawthepally on April 16, 2009 - 10:23 am

    Same here. Fortunately, my lock recently dinged 80 so I was able to complete a 3rd round of Argent Tournament dailies :)

  4. #4 by Ambrosyne on April 16, 2009 - 10:31 am

    Oh my night was actually even more fun.

    After prying Lyrandre from the clutches of the Loading Screen Boss, I went to go do Argent Tourney dailies because I was down to 100g, 75s. 100g of that was given to me by Kyr. At one point I was staring Lord Everburn in the face when Steve goes “Someone invite me to a raid so I can run into this instance portal and get away from the horde camping me.” I toss him an invite to help, holding off on the quest because for once I remember that I can’t quest in a raid.

    And I wait.

    And I wait.

    Then I realize he’s offline.

    WTF?

    I whine, and finally ditch the raid to od my quest. Steve did not bother to inform me he’d be logging right away, the ass. By this time horde have shown up to do the quest. I kill the mob, loot the item, and target one of the horde to /wave.

    The warlock isntantly dots me up. I try to run away (I’ve been a Spriest for all of a couple of hours, PvP wut?) and end up with my body plummeting down the mountainside to a spot I can’t reach.

    I bitch at Steve via Josh, and he gets on his pally and rezzes me because fuck if I’m spirit rezzing because it’s partially his fault.

    I continue on my merry way, only to get camped by a mage while trying to chop down tress, OF WHICH THERE ARE PLENTY.

    Horde are meanies. :(

  5. #5 by Oriniwen on April 16, 2009 - 10:52 am

    Wow. I had such an enormous amount of fun last night taking down Flame Leviathan and poking the sissy robot that I didn’t even remember to thank Elune I could get into a raid *at all*.

    I’m so sorry for your troubles, I seem to recall The Intern of DOOOM striking everytime we tried to do Void Reaver way way back in TBC. They always leave The Intern in charge after patch day so all the devs can go home and get some sleep. I swear.

  6. #6 by Firespirit on April 16, 2009 - 11:08 am

    My Tuesday night wasn’t too bad. We had a couple of raid members that couldn’t get the darned patch to work, so we ended up 8 manning Flame Leviathan.

    Then Wednesday came about. We were beat down, and kicked around the pavement. We attempted to go to ignis, but after 1:45 and only 6 trash mobs down (and like 10 wipes) [on a side note, I am slightly irritated that our RL did not listen to me on my MULTIPLE calls for CC], we decided to go to Deconstructor. After about 5 wipes on that, we only had him down to 50% Our raid leader was completely defeated. I felt bad for him, but I had expressed my concerns, especially since we haven’t even downed maly yet.

    I think we are going to have to go back and farm Maly a bit for some of his purples.

    I think, in normal mode, that the difficulty ramp between the Leviathan and the next bosses is just ridiculous. Maybe its just us, having been stewing in Naxx for so long, we forgot how to raid.

    I know, QQ Moar 10 mans. But we are one of those small guilds that would never get to see content in 25Mans, even though we all have the skill.

  7. #7 by kyrilean on April 16, 2009 - 11:41 am

    @ Oriniwen – just had to rub it in didn’t you? :D

    @ Amber – your scout for EoE was also pouting because not only is there no real upgrades from OS 1D for me, I had already flown to EoE and was sitting there. Instead of waiting for summons I start flying back the whole way only to get summoned as I’m flying down into the canyon. Thx guys!

    And for all I know, Ky is still stuck at the loading screen cuz after 3 resets of the game and still being stuck I gave up and logged for the night.

    I did pick a holy spec for my priest though! :)

  8. #8 by Elleiras on April 16, 2009 - 12:09 pm

    This sounds a lot like our night!

    After waiting around for an hour —- with half of our raid staring a load screen/unable to log on at all/playing Counterstrike while waiting for the all clear on Vent, and the other half flying around on ghost griffons outside of Ulduar (Alliance are meanies!) — we finally managed to zone in … and wiped exactly twice on Razerthingie before the instance server seized up *again* and locked us off of our mains for the rest of the raid night.

    Kalimdor and AH were also down.

    /sigh

  9. #9 by hokiejaybee on April 16, 2009 - 12:38 pm

    /enjoyed your description of the loading screen boss.

    we had similar blue-bar-loading-screen foes last night. but it wasn’t for naught.

    on our server, if you weren’t getting into ulduar, you weren’t getting “stuck” – it was at least kind enough to boot you back outside to the tune of “cannot find instance” or “cannot launch new instances at this time” or “cannot enter instance when an encounter is in progress” [even though we hadn't gotten in to start an encounter] or some other lingo-riffic way of saying FRUMP YOU in dev terminology.
    [SIDE NOTE: i play on a pvE server]
    so outside ulduar, to the tune of about the top 7 ally guilds and top 4 horde guilds – it turned into an all out massacre-fest. it was better than any BG i’ve been in, in about 2 years. it was absolute chaos, and it was great. people would try to fly away to the columns and roof of ulduar. NOPE. FYI….mounted-mid-air-blast-waves knock people off their mount. i have slow fall, they don’t. 3.1 offered me dual spec, so i went raiding arcane and raiding/solo’ing/dailies frostfire. what is this fancy new blast wave i never used to use because it pisses the tank off to no end? oh wow. you’re not mounted any more.

    so, in the 90ish minutes we waited for our server’s instance server to be restarted, i got 273 honorable kills and a little over 4000 honor. lollercopterskates.

    then we got in and wiped on flame laviathan because someone misunderstood the start procedure between easy and hard modes, and he sorta ate us quick-fast-and-in-a-hurry with 4 extra buffs. then we got bit with 1/2 of the raid eating the loading screen of doom for about another 20 minutes.

    yeah patch week!

  10. #10 by Kiramaren on April 16, 2009 - 12:39 pm

    Fairly similar story with us on Norgannon…

    Evening starts:

    Me and the other officers that are on start out with a conversation about our add ons and without WM life is not so bright and shinny…

    Then we discuss what raid we will be doing this evening we will have as many of our A team that we can hold for a 10 man Uldar our very first venture in (the night before due to crashes and server downtime it was a no go – but we did do VOA 2nd boss on 10man with 2 healers! And to boot they weren’t our main healers, we had multiple wipes but we downed him with much jubilation). Looking at the numbers of our guildies online and knowing they will get restless without anything to occupy them, appoint one of our solid tanks to venture forth with a 10man raid grp into Naxx, making it a joint run with my friends guild to fill it.

    So Raid 1 enters into Uldar, raid 2 ventures into Naxx…

    And… we go in go over the strategy and then notice ummmm why are ppl running in place?? Awwww shoot, there is an explosion on /1 general chat with the regular the sky is falling comments.

    We cant leave the instance, cant exit the game alt f4 only worked for some ppl, I finally broke down and ctrl + alt + del.

    * Sigh and rubs forehead *

    Relog in get stuck on the loading screen of doom… hmmm

    Hope to other vent channel to see how the naxx grp is… Stuck too… dang

    After 5min of sitting there and looking at my screen I get out of wow reload it and try a few more time… maybe it will work right?!?

    Log into my druid alt, I wanted to JC and work on my eng I just picked up the day before, travel from Dal to SW, got to the mailbox and AH and make a few runs.

    Start setting up a reg run of HoS it will be my first time there on my Drood and tanking it to boot! Yay!
    One of the dps runs in to Hos and cant get out! Nothing attacked him he did a great tour of the instance like 5 times.

    See that over half my guildies get logged off… the hue and cry that Northrend is down… perfect just great but at least I made it safe Mwahahaha, go and click on the auction npc and NOTHING happens ummm… what?

    I start to get laggy and cant cast anything… q.q Karma!

    Alt + f4 and get on my lvl 10 priest run halfway across the forest just outside of SW to kill me some Murlocs…

    Northrend is up but the raids and instances are still down…

    Save Kira from the loadings screen and log on my Drood and quest a little in SB and
    work on eng.

    * sigh * Dang you Blizz, ppl were monster angry and frustrated last night. I wanted to hide my head in my pillow and /scream for a bit.

  11. #11 by Ambrosyne on April 16, 2009 - 12:45 pm

    WE HAVE NEVER DONE MALY AS A GUILD FOR HIS PURPLES. Not on 25, anyway. This is a grevious mistake, imo (did I mention that some of my BiS items are there? did I? blargh).

  12. #12 by Light on April 16, 2009 - 12:55 pm

    We don’t raid weekday nights, and Alleria’s instance servers are about as unstable as the server itself. So my friend and I decided to 2 man heroic Magister’s Terrace for the chocobo mount. Got in, took five steps, and the instance locks up. Force quit WoW, log in, it works. Grab another friend and decide to 3 man it. On the last boss, the instance server crashes again and we’re stuck there for a good 15 minutes.

    Force quit, log in my DK. Shows my druid still in MT. Nice. After 10 minutes my druid gets booted back to Dalaran. Wait a couple hours and try do 3 man ZG for another mount. This time we kill one boss but it locks up hard after that.

    Gave up for the night, considering the problems that another guildie had in VoA. Maybe by this weekend it will be stable (heh).

  13. #13 by Isiene on April 16, 2009 - 1:19 pm

    That’s so horrible to hear! On Tuesday, I saw plenty of frozen loading screens (and Northrend dying literally every 3 minutes — people were fleeing Dalaran like rats from a fire). Late late last night (Wed), however, we walked into Naxx without a hitch. We did a whole clear without a single server hiccup, and now I’m amazed we didn’t encounter anything crazy like Tuesday. Here’s hoping that tonight’s better for everyone!

  14. #14 by Elleiras on April 16, 2009 - 6:05 pm

    Holy WI spam, Batman!

    … and there isn’t even a flowchart. :O

  15. #15 by Syrana on April 16, 2009 - 7:33 pm

    Hahaha great post. I was hoping for one after the “I’m stuck” tweets. ;)

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