Driving Me to Drink

Last night, we finished off our Naxx25.  Although I missed a boss due to an alarm going off in my apartment, I grabbed new shoulders and a helm.  But god damn it I earned that loot.

Apparently I can’t tank Sapph.  I tried twice and he just went OM NOM NOM NOM LOL I KEEL JOO.   Therefore I stood around tossing prot heals (she’s not dual spec)  and muttering under my breath about how I thought I wasn’t healing on this toon ever again, damn it!  Then came KT.

Oh, KT.

Nothing drives me BATTIER than chain FBs amongst the ranged.  I ended up using Amber’s Thinly Vieled I Am About To Kill You All Voice, which I’ve been told comes off as condescending.  Very well then-I’m condescending when you all waste my time by dying because you can’t download a fucking addon to make up for the fact that you can’t fucking find where to stand.  And when you DO find a place to stand and the people around you aren’t mysteriously having to shift over to get out of the way then STAND THE FUCK STILL.  The only reason you should budge from your safe cozy spot is an Ouchy Red Thing.  No Ouchy Red Thing?  Don’t fucking move.   If we wipe several times over stupid shit and the same mage’s name keeps popping up amongst chained FBs and your OT announces over vent that she’s going to go spike her lemonade now, you’re doing it wrong.

(For the record, Wild Strawberry Liquor + Amarretto + Lemonade does make frustrating wipes a little better). 

Not everyone needs to have eleventy billion addons to raid well-but if you raid with us at all, at least get DBM, for fuck’s sake.  The whole “don’t stand near people” is not a new mechanic, and it’ll crop up again, even if you don’t care for the other alerts (but you should because they’re great).  This is pet peeve dating back from C’thun attempts, where one of our priests refused to get any addons and so was always standing too close to me.  I’d move, he’d move.  I’d move again, he’d move again.  I’d move and aww, fuck, now I’m too close to a couple of people and OMG EYEBEAM BLAM LOL RAID DEAD ELEVENTY BILLION DAMAGE TO YOU.

“Why the fuck did we die?”

“BECAUSE SOME SHITHEAD WON’T STAND FUCKING STILL.”

The two seem to go hand in hand.  The people with their little ranged box?  Find a clear spot and stay.  People without it?  Seem to be twitchy as hell.  I can think of two people offhand that are guildmates of mine who don’t have it, and those two people are ones I spent a good bit of the fight adjusting around.  I mean I wouldn’t CARE so much if they had it and stood still!  Then they could find their spot and we could find our spots and it would be okay!  But nooo.  I will NAIL YOUR FEET TO THE GOD FORSAKEN GROUND, PEOPLE.

…and that is your angry healer tank rant of the day.

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  1. #1 by Twonationarmy on June 29, 2009 - 10:38 am

    Your rants are like a refreshing glass of water and I love them.

  2. #2 by Linedan on June 29, 2009 - 10:50 am

    I think her rants are more like a refreshing glass of Everclear, myself. Mmmmm. Graaaaiiinnn.

  3. #3 by HP on June 29, 2009 - 11:16 am

    LOL! Usually people hate it when people rant but you do it with such humor that no one minds. It’s almost like a super power =)

  4. #4 by Ambrosyne on June 29, 2009 - 11:21 am

    @Linedan – Everclear! Gah, that stuff is far harsher than I, my dear mootank.

  5. #5 by Rhidach on June 29, 2009 - 3:34 pm

    So very, depressingly true. Also, I worry about your blood pressure sometimes, haha.

  6. #6 by Adgamorix on June 30, 2009 - 10:06 am

    Mimiron hard mode, his napalm does an AoE (small radius) so you don’t want to be standing within 5yds of anyone else. One of our attempts our tree kept drifting towards me or our boomkin. We’d shift, he’d shift. Finally I had to ask if he just had me on follow…PUT DOWN ROOTS MAN!

  7. #7 by Ashimbo on June 30, 2009 - 12:14 pm

    I usually drink vodka and orange juice or vodka and coke during raids. I tend to think I heal better with a little liquid motivation, but then again, spamming Holy Light isn’t very hard in the first place.

  8. #8 by pewpewlazerz on July 10, 2009 - 2:35 pm

    Top quality rant! As Adgamorix notes above, you’ve just going to LOVE Mimiron. :)

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