Special Cookie of the Week

I’m well familar with fail pugs, especially now that my tree is in that span of levels that throws shiny new DKs at me.

I’ve zoned in, in cat form, and had them pull before I could switch specs.  Or regain mana.  Or even switch to the proper gear.  I’ve had them ignore my pleas for mana, chain pull as I try to drink, and then die and leave group in a huff.  That’s almost normal for me at this point.  I even had all of that in one group yesterday, but that’s not what I’m really posting about today…because that was not the Crowning Moment of Fail.

No, the crowning moment of fail came at the end of the instance, when I rolled on–and won–a ring.

O.o

o.O

O.O

>.<

What the fuck?!  Man, I wish I was healing you with tree punches…to the face.  It’s one thing to not know the nuances of classes I don’t play.  I don’t even know the nuances of other specs of classes I DO play.  But to insist that a resto druid doesn’t use spell power?   What?  Where have you been, sirrah? 

“lol omg your gonna pull that one”
That one what?  Have other people told you that rest druids use spell power before?  Have you stopped to consider that IT MAY BE BECUASE THEY’RE FUCKING CASTERS AND USE FUCKING SPELLPOWER?

“I got a 80.”  I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING, FUCK YEAH.

/boggle

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  1. #1 by Kae on April 19, 2010 - 10:13 am

    O.O

    My first reaction: I hope he made your ignore list.
    My second reaction: no, actually, it’d be kinda funny to group with him again, just to torment him with your healing spellpower.

    Guess he’s reading vanilla/ToC guides about +healing vs +spelldamage? L2WotlK, Onizuka-of-the-symbol-characters!

  2. #2 by Ambrosine on April 19, 2010 - 10:16 am

    @Kae – But if he has “a 80″ shouldn’t he have figured out the +healing/+sp change awhile ago? O.o I hadn’t even thought of that, actually. I was too busy going O.o at my screen. And then texting people going “omg u guis”

  3. #3 by morkuma on April 19, 2010 - 10:18 am

    Ninja

  4. #4 by Kadomi on April 19, 2010 - 10:19 am

    Lol, that is so much fail, very worthy of the special cookie of the week. Don’t you know druids heal with their branches, not with spellpower?

  5. #5 by Ceralyn on April 19, 2010 - 10:19 am

    I… what is this I don’t even… huh..??

    I may be broken a little, I will process this later..

  6. #6 by Kitts on April 19, 2010 - 10:35 am

    I do not understand.

  7. #7 by Chibikeni on April 19, 2010 - 10:38 am

    *twitch* I feel like a need to punch the fellow in a face, not with a treepunch mind you (>,<)#

  8. #8 by Ratshag on April 19, 2010 - 10:52 am

    Well, ain’t that fuhggin’ special.

  9. #9 by Bellwether on April 19, 2010 - 10:53 am

    The other day, I was in a group on my warlock with a Resto Druid who only healed with Regrowth. Like, ONLY Regrowth. So I suggested “Hey, maybe you should use some other spells.” And he started to, and people stopped dying.

    Then we get to the rhinos in Gun’drak and he stands in range of their silence. So I suggest not doing that. I get the response “Yes, mom” and a mage going off on me how this Druid has 80s and does 25 mans. I managed to calm them down by saying I wasn’t being rude, when what I really wanted to say was “I have 80s, too, and my main is a RESTO DRUID in ICC 25 HARDMODES.” /cry

    And therefore, as such a Resto Druid, I will inform you we operate on magical fairy dust and definitely NOT spellpower. DUH.

    ;P

  10. #10 by Poneria on April 19, 2010 - 11:12 am

    O.O… Can I poke a hole in his skull? Our vacuum’s busted, and it’s my turn to do the hall this week.

  11. #11 by Melfina the Blue on April 19, 2010 - 11:37 am

    Wow. Let me translate “I have an 80″ What it really means is…
    “I have a level 80 hunter in shaman mail. My pet is always on aggressive, I have no idea what growl is, and even though every PUG I’m in tends to wipe, the fail is always someone else’s. Also, I have 71 talent points in one tree.”

    Or possibly he’s a warrior in spellpower plate or a pally in their version of fail. Can’t really see him actually having a caster though…

  12. #12 by Robbie on April 19, 2010 - 11:59 am

    What is this I don’t even…

    I mean, I remember one time I was running Ramparts on my shiny new DK (as DPS) with a DK tank, and he starts rolling on spellpower gear…but in that case it was just Death Knoobishness. This is…wow.

  13. #13 by Stop on April 19, 2010 - 12:01 pm

    I.

    What?

    Fuck. FUCK.

    Failures. FAILURES. EVERYWHERE.

    /brainmelt

  14. #14 by Emma RJ on April 19, 2010 - 12:06 pm

    I had to read this twice because I thought I definitely must be reading it wrong.

  15. #15 by Matojo on April 19, 2010 - 12:08 pm

    Dear Onizuka,

    YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO LIVE.

    </3
    Matojo

  16. #16 by Paege on April 19, 2010 - 12:33 pm

    Damn…my resto druid just hit 80 and now you’re telling me I should use spellpower stuff? What the hell am I gonna do with all this AP gear I’ve been stocking up on?

  17. #17 by Voink on April 19, 2010 - 1:21 pm

    If tanks chain pull while I’m drinking (or any healer, really), I let them die and berate them in party chat for being dumbasses. It’s actually been surprisingly effective at toning down the stupid. If nothing else it makes me feel better.

    As for this post, it could only have been better if your party played along. But they took the “omg this guy’s a newb” approach, which works just as well.

  18. #18 by Voink on April 19, 2010 - 1:24 pm

    @ Bellweather – resto druids who don’t use instant hots make me cry. I run into far too many who use just nourish and regrowth as if they’re god’s gifts to resto druids. If you want to spam nourish, roll a holy paladin and save yourself the trouble.

    I replaced a fail resto druid for some guildies and the first thing they said was “rejuvenation? lifebloom? wtf are those, our last druid never used them.”

  19. #19 by Askevar on April 19, 2010 - 1:25 pm

    *mindboggle*

  20. #20 by Krikket on April 19, 2010 - 1:36 pm

    I heartily /agree with Melfina’s translation of “I have an 80″.

    Leveling alts: Exposing you to new levels of stupid on a daily basis!

  21. #21 by Xlark on April 19, 2010 - 2:12 pm

    Wow. Just wow. what does he think toons with blue bars use? I think I ran with this guy’s brother – a pally tank in spell power gear so he could keep aggro. Maybe I’m wrong and I’ve misread all the theorycrafting. I think I’ll go reroll a DK now.

  22. #22 by MyName on April 19, 2010 - 2:17 pm

    This is why you can’t have nice things!

    /tree_branch_to_the_face

    Now have a mana biscuit and think about what you’ve done, newb!

  23. #23 by Khraden on April 19, 2010 - 2:34 pm

    That’s seriously sad. I’m sure he’s gemming his tank gear with +Spirit too.

  24. #24 by Ambrosine on April 19, 2010 - 3:53 pm

    @Xlark – Pally tank using spell power is about as out dated as a healer not using spell power. :P

  25. #25 by puggingpally on April 19, 2010 - 4:09 pm

    Hahaha. I’m going to tell everyone now that I heal them with treepunches. Win.

  26. #26 by Christian on April 19, 2010 - 4:40 pm

    I say we all create a lvl 1 character on that dudes realm and wisp him how much fail he is…

  27. #27 by Xlark on April 19, 2010 - 5:48 pm

    @Ambrosine – Much fail all the way around, yes. See what eBay will do?

  28. #28 by Angelya on April 19, 2010 - 6:52 pm

    That.. is completely hilarious :D

    That was after going o.O O.o at the image for a good minute or so!

  29. #29 by Pike on April 19, 2010 - 7:02 pm

    This is… hilarious.

  30. #30 by Forreststump on April 19, 2010 - 7:33 pm

    I’m going to go harass him, just for the pleasure of mocking him. I’m not raiding much, so a temp ban is no biggie. It will give me a convenient excuse to go play more golf, too.

  31. #31 by deyndor on April 19, 2010 - 7:53 pm

    I don’t know why you posted this. Everyone knows that resto druids don’t need spell power. You need strength for better tree punches.

  32. #32 by Littlebark on April 19, 2010 - 8:01 pm

    Bwahhahahhaha!

    He made my miserable day.

    “I have an 80″ = the bandage to stupidity?

  33. #33 by Jong on April 20, 2010 - 12:28 am

    >:(

  34. #34 by Nymphe on April 20, 2010 - 7:54 am

    Wow.

    Find you a tank about your level and go to town! My babydruidtank runs with a resto shaman. People get stupid we just stand in the back and watch them safely out of combat.

  35. #35 by Kiramaren on April 20, 2010 - 12:06 pm

    My BF and I were running Heros I’m a tank so instant Qs, we get POS, I think heh not bad not bad at all it could be Occ :s I am pretty well geared, my health is normally about 50k or so. We get a Drood healer yay hots!!!
    Or so I think… he couldnt keep the dps up and me he barley kept me alive for most of it… I wasn’t even chain pulling I was going at a slow pace once I realized how many CDs that I had to pop to bearly (hehehe) eeek out alive. The dps became an almost constant smear on the ground from the incidental dmg. I was like what the hell, I had solid aggro with my mauls and swipes and mangles there were no stray adds ganking ppl.
    I check my handy dandy recount, flip to heals and clicked on this guy, he only ever used HT…there were no hots that is the ONLY spell he used… We died soooo many times (this was just before 3.3.3) and I really wanted to maul the guy, I tried to suggest that he use rej, WG, LB, regrowth, nourish just anything really other than HT. Hell I was nice about it, and the response of course was F*** you… wow gee thanks! The gauntlet and the last boss were so painful, we had to run in a few times, and on the last boss we just just killed him we me the last one standing and all CDs blown, apparently this guy cant stay out of bad stuff either… go figure!

    Some ppl make me want to reach through my screen and punch them in the face >:o

  36. #36 by Katherine on April 28, 2010 - 7:43 pm

    He might think healing druids don’t use spellpower because he inspects before you can switch gear, and then starts pulling and never stops ;)

  37. #37 by Andy on June 4, 2010 - 3:01 am

    No no no, you are all wrong.

    Healers heal with RAGE D:

  38. #38 by meski on September 9, 2010 - 9:19 pm

    Tank Healers heal with, what is it, improved leader of the pack? rofl.

    Just shifted realms, and stepped into a daily random. Oh, damn, all my vuhdo settings are default! Where did LB, rejuv, wg go! HT and regrowth were easy to get to, and my haste is good, so we survived :)

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