I need a smaller sense of responsibility.

I am back from Disneyworld and expressing mild displeasure at the Chicago weather once more.  Twenty or so degrees colder here, blah!

Of course this also means I have to dive back into whatever guild messes have cropped up in my absence, and find myself facing down my own disgruntlement.

I love GMing.  I also hate GMing.  It comes down to this deep sense of responsibility I bear for…well, every god damned thing.  On one hand, it pushes me to be the best GM I can.  On the other hand, when other people don’t live up to my inner grandoise standards, I can get…resentful.  Even if said resentment is born of a situation I created my own damned self.

The guild culture in BoO is relaxed compared to some.  Can’t make some raids due to RL?  Okay, cool.  Whatever.  Shit happens.  Join us when you can.  We raid, but not everyone in the guild is a raider.  People sometimes bounce between Raiding and Not Raiding depending on what is going on.  Or by choice.

And you know, for the most part, that’s fine.  A problem crops up when several people say eh, I don’t like 25s as much, and I only want to do 10s.  All around the sane time.  A situation that is definitely brewing, if not already happening, in BoO.

*takes a deep breath*

I’m the GM.  The guild focus is currently 25s.  It will remain 25s until our heads are bloodied against that wall, if my reading of the officer core that runs the guild is correct.  This means that if we loose too many people to do 25s, it’s back to the recruitment/canceled raid grind I hate so much.  This also means that my limited raiding time is locked into those two 25 man days a week, no matter what happens.  I am not the only one who is probably locked into those days either, as people have had to tweak work and school schedules to make those days.  This means that there’s at least a handful of people that are affected every single time a 25 man raid is called due to numbers.  We can’t split into 10s–there’s already guild 10s going during other days of the week.  People are saved.  A canceled ICC 25 turns into a ToC 25 or…nothing.

A canceled ICC 25 means that I don’t get to raid, because I can’t make most of those 10s, or at best, only 1 day of 2.  I don’t really feel that it’s fair to the rest of that group to do that on a regular basis, though I’m glad to step in if they need and ask me to.

I will keep the 25s going as best I can because that is my job.  It is the responsibility that I willingly took on.

But I can’t help but be jealous of others ability to step back and do 10s.  I, too, love the cozier atmosphere of 10s (though I don’t love 25s any less).  I will miss the people that have decided that they are done with 25s becuase…well, now I won’t get to raid with them, and I consider some of them friends.  Meanwhile I’ll recruit and wheedle and beg and fill raids with people who…probably shouldn’t even be there until we’re in a good spot again.   Maybe I’ll make new friends!  But I’ll complain about it anyway.

YES I MADE MY BED AND I WILL LIE IN IT BUT I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BITCH THE ENTIRE GOD DAMNED TIME. 

But this post has been entirely too bitter.  For those of you who missed the OMG CAPS announcement on Twitter during my vacation, my dear Cranky Tank proposed just after the EPCOT fireworks, and because I’m just as crazy as he is, I said yes.  Everyone who also follows my personal blog is therefore OFFICIALLY WARNED as to future wedding related contents and may now flee before it is too late.

\o/

Oh, and the promised picture of a SMILING Bubbles will be posted as soon as a pry it off the lap top!

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  1. #1 by Chaark on May 17, 2010 - 11:52 am

    Come on you know we only have 2 seasons here (Chicago) …winter & summer

  2. #2 by puggingpally on May 17, 2010 - 12:25 pm

    Congratulations on your engagement, and I’m sorry to hear about your troubles filling the raids. This is such a slumpy time in the game, I’m afraid myself that I could blink and half my guild would be gone. Being The Ultimate Responsibility Person in the guild is sometimes rewarding and sometimes a giant pain in the ass.

  3. #3 by Ambrosine on May 17, 2010 - 12:43 pm

    @Puggingpally – I HATE PRE-EXPANSION TIME RAWR

  4. #4 by Krikket on May 17, 2010 - 12:50 pm

    Bah. I wish that so much hadn’t happened while you were away. :(

    However, I do want to offer a wholehearted congratulations on your engagement.

  5. #5 by theerivs on May 17, 2010 - 1:28 pm

    No 2 seasons in Chicago…winter, and construction.

    Sorry I left BoO, I know I was the one keeping everyone focused. :)

    Congo Rats to the wedding. I try to talk the Horde into letting you guys have Wintergrasp a little bit…doubtful they will listen.

    Smell ya later.

  6. #6 by Liore on May 17, 2010 - 1:55 pm

    Seriously? You have the patience of a saint, apparently. If a bunch of my 25-man core announced that they no longer *DO* 25-man raids… well, let’s just say that there would be a reckoning. I wouldn’t boot them, but .. I’d probably cancel 10-man raids, honestly. Sinking the larger team is uncool.

    But apparently you are nicer than I am, which is probably a good thing. :)

  7. #7 by Kestrel on May 17, 2010 - 2:25 pm

    Best wishes for a lifetime of wedded bliss! And congrats to CrankyTank for finally popping the question! ;)

  8. #8 by bobturkey on May 17, 2010 - 4:16 pm

    Woooooot! Congratulations Ambrosine!!!

  9. #9 by shadowtycho on May 17, 2010 - 5:52 pm

    @amber: the tactical error you make is that you STOP recruiting when you have enough people. if your going to run a guild on the idea that people can raid if they can and not make attendance a issue you need bench warmers to make those nights when people just don’t show up work.

    that way when you have say 40 poeple who want to raid 25 man icc, and 5 cancel and 4 more suck you can still have 6 pople who sit out side and hope to get in. then comes part 2.

    MAKE SURE EVERYONE GETS IN. don’t make it so that if 28 poeple show up for 25 slots 3 people don’t get to go that night those 3 people pick a boss or 2 that they really want in for and wait. and get in for what they want. yes you will have to bench poeple for content that you have on farm.

    and the third thing you need to do is:
    make sure that whatever loot system you are using has attendance as a important component of who gets something over who. and give the people that sit outside the same points/credit that those inside would get.

    if you stop recruiting then at some point you have to stop raiding and if you don’t rotate extra raiders in on farm content CONSTANTLY then people who don’t think they can get a 25 spot wont show up.

  10. #10 by Nzete on May 18, 2010 - 3:52 pm

    Best wishes for your upcoming wedding!

  11. #11 by valkyrierisen on May 20, 2010 - 6:17 pm

    I love the casual mindset for your guild. And I totally agree with shadow’s mention of attendance to the *guild* 25s loot policy. Since 25s is your focus, if people are online and ready and willing to do the 25, they get the points for being there. What they do on “off” time doesn’t matter.

    In my past, nothing got my goat worse than plugging away week after month in a 25m raid just to train people how to do it, and having a newbie walk in and take the loots. After they did none of the hard work.

    Congrats on the incoming wedded bliss ;)

  12. #12 by Chaark on May 21, 2010 - 10:33 am

    Congrats on the wedding, You’re probably doing “a big to do” but incase you are looking at something smaller, city hall does their Saturday ceremonies at the Historical Society Building on Michigan overlooking the park its very nice on the cheap

    PS you can get a awesome plastic cake for a few dollars more I know it sounds cheesy but really it wasnt and it was the saner of my 2 weddings to my lovely wife. Well the other was overseas so you know….chaos

    …cheers

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