Posts Tagged OMG CAPS
ETA: If you can go into a heroic in pvp gear and do 15k DPS, this post is not about you. Also, there’s a line between “I am a PVPer stepping into PvE content” and “I’m a PvEr who bought these blues off the AH when I dinged 85 and didn’t bother to reforge, gem, or enchant anything, so that I could have random people carry me through heroics.” It is the latter who have sparked my ire.
Dear DPS in Full PVP Gear,
Look, I realize that using PVP gear to cheese the ilevel requirements is a quick and easy way into the new heroics. Really, I do–see my own pvp shoulders? But please understand one thing: the heroics themselves will not be quick and easy while you’re limping along doing less than half of the DPS of everyone else. 9k is not an acceptable amount of DPS.
You can’t count on some uber DPS trying to cap VP coming along and carrying your sorry, lazy ass. Murphy’s Law states that you will be tossed in a group with all or one of the following:
- other DPS doing the exact same thing and sucking just as hard
- someone on an alt still figuring out WTF they are doing
- some fucking idiot who thinks that wearing half healing and/or tanking gear to DPS is somehow fucking hunky dory
- someone with 2 FPS
- someone with perfectly good gear who is just That Guy who is terrible no matter what
And then things won’t die fast at all and your healer will run out of mana healing these super long fights while the 2 fps guy stands in bad and OH GOD THE PAIN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Newsflash: the normal heroics are STILL IN THE GAME.
GO FUCKING RUN THEM YOU LAZY ASS COCKKNOB.
Get some other heroic loot and some JP stuff and then maybe, just maybe, you can fucking SUPPLEMENT your shit with pvp gear to cheese the last bit of ilevel, okay?
BUT YOU REALLY CAN’T WEAR JUST PVP GEAR AND NOT MAKE ME WANT TO RIP OUR YOUR ANUS VIA YOUR THROAT.
we need to kill Alysrazor
that bird drops THREE upgrades for us
me: fffff that boss
Rades: we haven’t tried it yet
me: we did, hahaha
me: Imagine a draenei DK running in circles looking for adds
then going AAAH WORM
AAAH THE BIRD IS ON ME BECUASE THE OTHER PERSON DIED GET IT OFF GET IT OFF
OMG OMG OMG FIRE TORNADOS????????
OMG THEY ARE EVERYWHERE
OMG WE ALL DIED and that is the fight as I know it
you should write that up right now
as your Alysrazor Strat 1.0
me: and continue my lack of genuine content on ILB? hahaha
you had cursing
WHAT DOES IT SAY
I CANNOT READS
me: READ FOR ME PEON NOT AT WORK
Fuzzbutt: so apparently there’s a bug
causing runes to NOT HAVE A COOLDOWN
Fuzzbutt: that somehow made it out of the PTR
Fuzzbutt: DEATH STRIKE EVERY GCD FTW
me: DEATH STRIKE ALL THE THINGS?
MOAR HOWLING BLAST
brb killing all the horde (if only–stupid work)
THIS MEANS I GET TO MAKE SILLY BREZ MACROS RIGHT?
- Hey, you weren’t meant to come back ALIVE!
- Return from the grave to serve your new master! (@Bulidar)
- Stop dying you coward! (@snack_road)
- Your rotting flesh was just getting in the way! (@_Rades)
- …this isn’t a ghoul. Come back here, I have to kill you and try again!
- I now name you Pebblethief! (and various versions thereof)
- Hey! If I don’t get to nap, neither do you.
- (SiB specific) Wait, you’re not Kotakh!
- Here, now you don’t have to try to find your way back into the instance.
- You’re an Army of Dead of one. (@stealingzen)
- Now ask your self this, am I rezzing you because I like you? Or because I hate you and want to see you die again?
- Try to suck less this time, okay?
- Again, with less death!
- Look, I’m new at this, so don’t sue me if your organs are in the wrong place.
- Psst! I also offer repair services! (Engineer DK specific. :P )
- Well, you’re alive. There may be a slight side effect where you might want to eat living flesh, but it’ll pass. I hope. (@PixelExecution)
- Trust me, that sword sticking through your lung is normal. No, I didn’t put it there, and I resent any implications that I did! (@PixelExecution)
- Curses! A corpse I don’t get to control! (@PixelExecution)
- Now, your wounds didn’t completely heal so you might bleed out again, but you’re alive! (@PixelExecution, yes he was having fun with these)
- I think I fixed the internal bleeding this time…
- Experiment number 76 is go!
- Version 2.0.3 of ‘player’ released. Now with less durability! (@YayitsJake)
- Okay, fine…nipple shocking didn’t work. I’ll do it the OTHER way. (again with the DK engineerness.)
- Damn it, get back into the fight! Worry about getting all your fingers reattached LATER! (@PixelExecution)
- Rise, my soldiers! Rise and fight once more! (o hai Noth)
- Oh no you lost aggro on the floor!
I really should have been editing my novel last night. Instead I was derping around WoW, leveling my shaman (53!), and digging on my Other DK (almost 73!). Elemental shamans shoved into that many BoAs are just WRONG.
I logged onto my hunter to check the two Loque spawns I keep her at, then logged off.
After staring at my log in screen a moment (psst, Blizz, can we hurry up and make it so I can rearrange my character list NOW, thanks!) I logged back in and decided to check the other spawns.
All the while I’m on vent, babbling at Pix about how I HATE THE HUNT FOR SPIRIT BEASTS and how whoever decided to make 7 spawns for Loque needs to be kicked in the balls, and how it was annoying because I’d found ALL OF THE OTHER SPIRIT BEASTS and even ALL OF THE OTHER SHOLOZAR RARES while casually derping around but not Loque, nooo.
I overshot a spawn and circled back.
Waaait a minute, that cat isn’t yellow–
Do you know that adreneline dump you get when you’ve been hunting something FOREVER and your NPC scan/Silver Dragon/whatever flashes across your screeen? If you don’t you clearly don’t play a hunter. Anyway, I SPAZZED.
Oh man, where the fuck is my tame button?
Trap? What trap? Oh god. I simply dropped down and started taming, no trap, aggroing other cats, what the fuck ever oh my god.
And now, an expansion and some later, I have Loque.
…I guess I should level my hunter now, huh.
…and come up with a name.
After running a few heroics to get a hang of that whole “hunter focus” thing, I went ahead and threw Ambrosine together for prot and had a go at tanking.
What the fuck is this holy power shit? It’s “like combo points”? You realize I don’t play a rogue because I HATE COMBO POINTS, right? Yes I know I played a cat, but NOTICE THE PAST TENSE.
Okay, so, um, I’ll throw down a consecrate and–HEY.
HEY GUYS ALLOW ME TO HIT HE THINGS WITH MORE THAN SHINY ON THE FLOOR BEFORE YOU ATTACK, KTHX.
Okay, so…969? Right? Wait, 3? 939? I…amg /flails at buttans
HAY HUNTERS. WTF.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T GET MISDIRECT TO WORK? FOR FUCKS SAKE. WELL LEARN TO ASSIST THE TANK THEN NUBS.
…oh there go mobs again. Hm. RF is up, right? RF is up.
…oh there go…I swear to god, HUNTERS. I AM LETTING YOU TANK THAT.
…heeeeey, I haven’t gone OOM! Sweet.