The Proper Behavior of an Unhappy Guildie

It’s really simple, and I don’t understand how so few people grasp this…but if you’re unhappy with someone in the guild, tell an officer.

Protip: if I don’t know that you’re unhappy, I can’t try to fix it!

Do you want to run 25 man content? Is your guild close but not doing it yet? What should you do-ask?  Or q/quit with a couple of your friends, thus helping to gut their ability to ever get 25s off the ground?  The correct answer, at least initially, is a: ask!  If enough raiders express an interest and even state they’re unhappy, your officers might just try to step up their plans!  In the very least, they can tell you, “Yeah, we were waiting on the GM to get his move out of the way-don’t you see it on our schedules? Soon, I promise!  So go sign up!”

If I had known it had mattered that much to you that we do it OMG NOW, I would have led the fucking raids myself.

Also, try really hard to not randomly /gquit with no discernable reason.  I mean, really.

As I’m walking my paladin away from the inbox, chewing over the loss of our best holy priest and two good DPS, I see in yellow text: “RogueRecruit has left the guild.”

Initially he didn’t respond to me, and when he did, he said something about not letting decisions be final and he was sick and…I don’t really remember, it was nonsense.

And I lost it.  The rogue came with a druid, so I figured we’d lose both.  Right on the heels of the rest, I couldn’t take it.  I logged onto an alt and sat there and cried in front of the computer.

I don’t like losing anyone, especially not any of those that I brought into our crazy little fold.  I want everyone to be happy.  I want to fix everything.  That’s my nature-and it’s one reason I’m an officer, besides from being able to gain recruits with my gregarious cuteness.  But I can’t fix problems that I don’t know exist.

Actually, I knew the 25 man problem existed-and I was pushing for the content, but Steve’s desire to wait was reasonable.  And it is, honestly, on our raiding schedules right this second for early March.  If I’d known people were going to leave over it, though, I could have done somethin.

So.  If you have a problem, let someone in charge know.  FFS.

-Amber, the disheartened recruitment officer

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  1. #1 by Holy Dueg! on February 25, 2009 - 8:23 am

    The fact of the matter is that if they up and quit without talking to an officer or looking on the schedule or at least trying to see if somehting in the guild was going to change, then they obviously didn’t give a shit about the guild. Just because your guild isn’t running 25 mans doesn’t mean you can’t run them yourself, it will even give you a chance to possibly do some recruiting. Don’t be too down on yourself though, you can’t force people to not be jackasses. Would it make you feel better if I transfered servers and let you gank me outside the worm cave for Hodir? Seems to make a lot of alliance feel better…

  2. #2 by kyrilean on February 25, 2009 - 8:50 am

    That sucks. When I started my guild with friends, I felt the same way after every /gquit. I wanted to know what I could have done to fix it. Want to know the answer?

    Absofreakinglutely nothing!!!

    It’s in our nature to think these guys stuck it out for a while and stewed in their frustrations, but chances are something upset them and they left on a momentary decision. This isn’t always the case, but I’ve found it to be true more often than not.

    I’ve also grown very thick skin since then because if someone leaves the guild without letting me know the problems first, then I could give a rat’s ass about them. It’s the ones that bring problems to my attention that I have sympathy and understanding for, even if they do leave.

    For those that upset me, do I harbor a certain amount of joy seeing them jump guilds for the next couple of months? Hell yeah! But eventually you figure screw it they’re not worth thinking about anymore.

    Chin up! You’ll burn yourself out with that much weight on your shoulders. Trust me, I know. I’d never have started stalking your guild otherwise. :)

  3. #3 by Ambrosyne on February 25, 2009 - 10:27 am

    I think my “befreind all the recruits” method is backfiring on me…hard.

    But seriously, 25s are ON THE FREAKING SCHEDULE. Pugging for another two weeks won’t kill you. Hell, I could have said, “Go play with Celestial Darkness, they’re cool” and it wouldn’t even really have been pugging.

    /flails
    /emos

    I have a thick skin…unless there’s some possible way I can twist things to be a failure on my part. D’oh!

  4. #4 by Rohan on February 25, 2009 - 10:52 am

    25-mans being “on the schedule” doesn’t matter. If anything, it’s a bad sign for a guild.

    Guilds in WoW are very much “do or do not, there is no try”. If you aren’t running 25-mans now, you aren’t a 25-man guild. If you have enough people that you’re thinking about making the leap (ie 15+) you’d be better served by jumping straight in and maybe pugging a couple others, rather than waiting to hit 25 people and scheduling it “in the future” (which may never come).

  5. #5 by Ambrosyne on February 25, 2009 - 10:58 am

    They’re “on the schedule” as in “we’re doing them next week”. Not “oh we’ll do it someday” type on on the schedule. On the scheudle as in…they’re there. Sign up. Show up. It will happen. We’re running two 10 mans with people to spare, it’s not as if it’s going to be much of a stretch.

    So it’s annoying to be about to jump in the pool and have people leave ’cause they want to go swimming.

    I’m in part upset because I saw this brewing and was pushing the 25s, but the GM wanted to wait until after he moved. Unfortunately that delay of another couple of weeks looks like it did damage.

  6. #6 by ExtraMedium on February 25, 2009 - 11:38 am

    Honestly I’m surprised you’ve lasted this long as an officer, taking this stuff so seriously. I’m exactly the same as you and had to step away from any type of in-game management for these very same reasons. I’d get upset when people left, wonder why, try to get them back… then I saw the futility of it all.

    Most people join guilds for one purpose– getting loot. It’s not the camaraderie, not the sense of accomplishment. Sad as it is, that’s how it works. They don’t invest any emotion or feel any loyalty. They are friendly and nice when things are good, the second they aren’t happy they jump ship. They have no interest in telling you, or having you fix the situation because most of them don’t really care. They just want to step up to the loot buffet, and they’ll switch the words under their toon’s name without blinking an eye or feeling any remorse.

    Being a GM in an advancement guild or even a serious officer in this game takes a certain type of person who can disconnect the “personal” part of it I think and handle things in a more business-like manner than I could. Otherwise you’ll just let the game get you way too upset and affect you much more than a game should. After all it’s supposed to add fun to your life.. you’ve got everything else in your real life to add pressure and stress. ;)

  7. #7 by Brent on February 25, 2009 - 5:48 pm

    “Honestly I’m surprised you’ve lasted this long as an officer, taking this stuff so seriously”

    Personally, I’d ignore this statement. The best GM’s do take this stuff so seriously because a lot of a guild’s success is make or break on the GM’s willingness to take guild issues seriously and work on correcting them.

    Yes you have to “cop it on the chin” a bit more than you’d like, but my time as various leadership positions is:

    If you ignore it, it will happen again.

    I’ve recently moved guilds. I was in a casual guild that decided with Wrath that they were going to “step it up”. That was great for me, as I was in the guild originally to avoid a bad raiding guild I’d left, and was going to look for another guild when Wrath came out. I figured I could stick around and get my HC raiding there.

    Unfortunately, “step it up” consisted of being more diligent about checking consumables and… um… nothing else. I tried for about 2 months to get the leadership to make any sort of vision statement (beyond the first one about stepping it up). I badgered officers about raiding, coached lower guys, made posts, put up analysis on the forums, but eventually one of the officers said “Look, if you want more than we’re giving, look somewhere else because we’re a casual guild not a raiding guild”.

    I almost ragequit at that point, but I did it calmly explaining in Gchat why I was leaving and wishing the guild well.

    Since I’ve moved I’ve been loving it. I joined a guild who was never casual, and we’re now working on Sarth 3D and prepping for Ulduar testing.

    Conclusion: If you’re a GM or officer, make it clear, publicly, what the goals and aims are for the guild and what the plan for getting there is. If people don’t like the plan they can go elsewhere, no harm no foul, but if they stay, they’ve got no reason to complain that it isn’t clear what’s happening, and that they chose to stay.

  8. #8 by Ambrosyne on February 26, 2009 - 10:15 am

    I’ve been an officer of one flavor or another in various guilds for a long time. This particular incident just happened the hit me at a time when I was already vulnerable.

    And yes, there’s people that join guilds for loot. But there are also those who join for much more than that.

    In my original raiding guild, Unified, we were a hard core, raid 4 nights a week for progression type guild. One mage quit WoW…came back…quit WoW AGAIN and deleted his toon…and came BACK…always to raid with us.

    Why?

    Because of us. The people in the guild, not to loot. He wasn’t the only one to leave and then come back, stating that very reason. When Unified blew up…we all missed it so much, several of us got back together and reformed it. People who had transferred off server transferred back to wear that name again. It’s still together, with some of the original members.

    For what, loot? No.

    For some of us, there really is a lot more to the game than pixelated purples. And so yes, I’ll always be a but upset when someone I’ve made a point to get to know leaves.

    But I like to think that some of our recruits-Zuki, Ron, Rivyn-are here for more than epics.

    Even the rogue whose /gquit nudged meover the edge last night came back, and spologized.

    Why’d he say he came back? For more loot?

    No.

    “I like you guys.”

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