Things Your Healer Doesn’t Want To Hear

  1. Oh shit.
  2. Oops.
  3. Fuck!
  4. RUN!
  5. (for us pallys-YES I still get this) Can I get salv?
  6. (After running through Naxx slime and just sitting down to drink) PULL!
  7. (When hardly anyone is around after a wipe or during an AFK break) SHADE!
  8. (on Grobb) …was I not supposed to cleanse?
  9. LOLOLOL I CAN PULL GROBB FROM HERE (looking at you, Cinnia)
  10. ADDSwwwwwwwwwwwww
  11. can i get rebuffs  (No.)
  12. i need heals (and the boss needs DPS)
  13. (said as you’re testing today’s floor flavor) where r heals? 
  14. u suk (DIAF…no really, that boss spawns one, go stand there)
  15. wut spec r u (Disc priests look around shifty eyed at this point.)
  16. “Pulling!”  “WAIT [Important Person] is afk!”  “Too late!”

,

  1. #1 by Abruzz on March 23, 2009 - 2:08 pm

    Good thing to know just decided to level my healer again.

  2. #2 by Elleiras on March 23, 2009 - 2:28 pm

    My personal favorite:

    “Hey guys …

    *tank pulls Sartharion*

    … my bow broke.”

  3. #3 by Light on March 23, 2009 - 2:46 pm

    I loled.

    “Oops.”

    “What do you mean, oops??”

  4. #4 by Kestrel on March 23, 2009 - 3:43 pm

    Worse than hearing any of that over Vent, is seeing it in RAID CHAT. WTF? How can you do your job if you’re TYPING, asshat??

  5. #5 by Oriniwen on March 23, 2009 - 3:49 pm

    Oddly enough, in my guild, people (read: dps) learned very *very* quickly that crying for heals was the number 1 best way to not get any. Ever.

    What in the heck did you think I was doing standing back here in this bathrobe!?

  6. #6 by Ambrosyne on March 23, 2009 - 4:08 pm

    I usually get raid assist for reasons totally unkown to me, as I mainly use them 1) assign the Purple Diamond of Fail and 2) Give Huntres raid markings to annoy him.

    On rare occasions is such power constructive (like inviting people while Josh is looking at 4chan).

    Oh, and to spam <<> in /rw.

    I think I will now use /rw to spam things like, “Asking for Heals: 50 DKP Minus!”.

    Y/N?

  7. #7 by Elleiras on March 23, 2009 - 5:23 pm

    Y.

    Abusing /rw is a win in my book! Unless you’re the crazy Alliance-loving druid who just happens to be RL. /facepalm

    Using /rw to spam FOR THE ALLIANCE! before every pull should be an automatic “50 DKP Minus!” (Sorry, to all you gnomes and spacegoats. But we hate you.)

  8. #8 by Ambrosyne on March 23, 2009 - 7:13 pm

    @Elleiras: D: SPACEGOATS ARE WIN.

  9. #9 by Pixiedark on March 24, 2009 - 7:41 am

    Not to mention on #6 your raid leader asks you to make sure everyone’s healed up, but doesn’t give you 10 seconds to actually drink after you’ve both had the mana sucked out of you and healed everyone up. All those half filled bars you’d think they’d know by now the mana bars are even lower but Noooooo…

  10. #10 by Pixiedark on March 24, 2009 - 7:47 am

    PS, I love this list. 14 made me laugh out loud, literally. Though personally I think instead of fire I’d send them to stand in Grob’s poison cloud, you know, those people that panic and decide the middle of the room is the best possible place to drop their poison debuff? Go stand in that buddy, see how it feels and maybe next time you’ll know which direction to run. =D

  11. #11 by Light on March 24, 2009 - 8:05 am

    Last night I heard my tank’s famous “oops” in UBRS and Blackwing Lair. Oops as in, I’m starting the event and one of the group is outside the gate and there’s only 8 of us. :)

  12. #12 by Ambrosyne on March 24, 2009 - 9:26 am

    Last night I TOTALLY used the “/rw Asking for Heals: 50 DKP minus” on someone in Naxx. And THEN I did a H VH with a really snarky mage who died at one point and was all, “Thanks for the heals.” With my usual razor wit I replied, “Thanks for the sarcasm.”

  13. #13 by kyrilean on March 24, 2009 - 11:38 am

    11. can i get rebuffs

    Answer: Shouldn’t have died.

  14. #14 by Oriniwen on March 24, 2009 - 11:47 am

    Once upon a time I posted the Allmighty Healer Priority List on our forums:

    1. Tank
    2. OT
    3. Other healers
    4. Good dps
    5. Hunter/warlock/DK pets
    6. Aggro monkies and asst Bad dps.

    (if you’re not getting heals, maybe you fall into category #6. Think about it ;) )

  15. #15 by wowconomics on March 24, 2009 - 12:17 pm

    These were so funny and so true. I cant count the number of times I have seen #16 happen >.>

  16. #16 by Ambrosyne on March 24, 2009 - 1:26 pm

    @wowconomics: An alternative to #16 is “Wait, so and so is outside the door!”

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