Like all humans, I am a flawed individual. Sometimes, said flaws exhibit themselves in random thinly-veiled frustrated comments in vent after which I log off in an apparent huff (sorry, guys).
To most people, this made absolutely no sense. Indeed, my behavior didn’t make much sense to me, either. But I sat there and picked myself apart…
…and a lot of it comes down to guild drama.
I hate guild drama. So why the fuck was I making it?
Shortly before my Random Angry!, a certain priest with which I seem to have entered Perpetual Drama Combat with talked to Josh on vent. When I switched mains, my DKP switched from Ambrosyne to Lyrandre. Now, the rules state that there’s no sharingDKP between characters-I can’t, for example, go back on Ambrosyne and then use some of what is now Lyr’s DKP for something. But there was no mention of main swapping, at all. My switch isn’t sudden, either-it’s been in the works for months, and as a random note, my Vent name has been Lyrandre since the day I rolled on Azgalor. His questioning the situation was, perhaps, valid-but because it was That Priest, it grated on my nerves. He’s already stated that I’ve been “put on notice” (ha, ha-how does a raid member put an officer on notice, anyway?), so now I just feel scrutinized. If feel as if he’s waiting, and watching, for me to fuck up so that he can get upset over it. Naturally that makes me want to be a right bitch just for the sake of it, which is…very very bad.
To be fair, I’m sure he felt similarly scrutinized at the beginning of all this, when I originally started eyeballing our healers for improvement. But there’s a difference between my trying to find ways to suggest that as a holy priest, you might want to do something other than spam Gheal on the tanks during raids, and his downright spiteful behavior. I didn’t get upset over his healing for no reason. One of the first things I did was talk to experienced holy priests to get their take on the situation. When the general consensus was “Yeah, he kind of sucks,” then I tried to nudge him in the right direction. When he took offense to that, I stopped. His behavior since has only worsened.
So what the hell does all that have to do with my Random Angry?
That Priest has become enough of an issue where he was going to be “talked to”-this was the general consensus reached by officers on Monday.
So here we are on Friday, and he has not yet, to my knowledge, been “talked to”. Now That Priest wasn’t always on, but he was last night. I’m frustrated that it seemslike, to me, that heels are being dragged and I probably have the least amount of tolerance for it. The guy’s copping an attitude left and right and not only towards me. He’s tanked a raid on purpose “just to be an asshole” (his words!). He’s not even raiding with us anymore, but rather spending a lot of time running with another guild, instead. While it’s true that we’re not wanting for healers, when Naxx25 was progression content it would have been nice to have the most geared toon in the guild along (in theory, anyway). Why the fuck are we just twiddling our thumbs about this? So yeah, when the GM is asking for instance runs for his 78 warrior alt, and I’ve already instanced my toons to death of late, feel on edge already from earlier events, and want to know why the fuck problems aren’t being handled, I might be cranky.
Not to say my behavior was called for-it wasn’t. But nothing drives me more batshit insane than a problem I have to wait for someone else to handle.
I think I’m going to keep my ass off vent for awhile, since it’s easier to edit what I type than to take back random shit that spews out of my mouth.
There’s also an undercurrent of “I pugged almost all of my normal runs and saved guildie instance help for heroics, why the fuck can’t you, Steve?” but that’s a whole ‘nother issue in and of itself. Namely one called “fuuuuck I just did all those to death and YOU WANT ME TO GO BACK? WAI?!?!” How the hell do people have 3-4 80s already and still be sane?!