So I wanted to talk to you about Raiding as Disc Post 3.1, and Raiding Post 3.1 With Multiple Disc Priests.
Instead, I am here to give you boss strats.
Boss Strats: The Loading Screen
Multi Stage Fight, OMG!
Stage One: Assemble the Raid
Oh foolish mortal. It’s the day after patch day and you want to proceed with your scheduled raid days and maybe even look at that new content they put in. If nothing else, playing with dual specs in instances is cool, right?
This stage of the boss fight is your typical Herding Cats situation, just like every other raid you’ve ever done.
Stage Two: Report to the Instance You Want To Do
Let’s say you’ve got Naxx on the schedule (we did). Show up at the instance and pick a portal. Execution needn’t be precise, just don’t miss a portal and go sailing off the edge.
After a minute or two of staring at the loading screen (boss timers are imprecise-new patch content after all!!!!), get kicked back out and receive the Instance Not Found error.
Stage Three: Scout
After a brief kerfluffle in officer chat, send a few intrepid souls with epic flyers to test OS and EoE. Receive A-OK reports from both. The rest of the raid at this time stands around Naxx making lewd comments in /raid and making fun of people, usually guildies.
Stage Four: Head Out!
Have everyone start heading over to OS, because the GM decided to go there even though your disc priest officer is going OMG YUMMY EOE 25 LEWTZ. PUGGING EOE IS A BITCH WE’VE NEVAR DONE IT AS A GUILD LETS GO. While said disc priest is pouting, summon half the raid to the stone because they’re too fucking lazy to make the short hop over. Your scout, who is running around in circles inside the instance, tells you to come in.
Stage Five: “Hey, Guys…”
At this point, several members of the raid make the initial rush to the instance. They see the loading screen for OS, the bar fills up (YAY, it didn’t even do that at Naxx!) and then…
…they stay there…
Remember, communication is key there. Make sure that EVERYONE that is stuck repeats this fact on vent, several times. They are STUCK on the LOADING SCREEN OF DOOM.
This stage can last anywhere from 45 minutes to several hours. The raid, in the meantime, is called.
Stage Six: Altitis
You have options for the last stage of the boss. If you have alts, hop on them while staring at your main hovering in the Unknown. If you were one of the lucky ones who didn’t get caught, we hate you, go do dailies. If you manage to pry our main out of there after several hours, be sure to foolishly contemplate doing a heroic. If you’re one of our tanks, Wreckz, try to get into VH and die on the loading screen somehow.
We’re still trying to figure that one out, by the way.
So my Wednesday night sucked, how was yours?