The Failpriest and the Dumbadin

Thankyou, Blog Azeroth, for giving me something to write about.

Signs of a Failpriest:
-They don’t cleanse anything – ever
-Your holy priest is spamming Gheal on the tank when there’s better tank healers in the raid
-A priest using Lesser Heal at 80 
-A disc priest without Penance in their top 3 heals
-A disc priest who doesn’t bubble
-A priest who doesn’t even know they HAVE shackle
ETA:  -Disc priests who don’t glyph bubble

…all of those things are either events I have witnessed personally, or events I have seen screen shots of.  WHY, people?! 

A Dumbadin, on the other hand, can be harder to spot.  I mean, how do you mess up a holy pally?  You’re generally on the tank, and you have three heals-the Big Heal, the Little Heal, and Holy Shock.  If he’s taking a lot of damage, you use the Big Heal.  If he’s not, use the Little Heal.  If you need and OMG NAO!!!! heal, use holy shock.  Keep Sacred Sheild up and sometimes toss Bacon on the OT.  Those are the VERY BASICS of healadininining-iti s not hard!  HOW DO YOU FUCK THAT UP?

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  1. #1 by Pike on June 1, 2009 - 9:38 am

    Ohgosh, I haven’t seen Shackle used since Kara. Literally. >.>

    Though, my favorites are possibly the people who fail to train some important spell and then get into a raid where they have to use it and “Oh sorry, I didn’t have enough gold at the time”.

  2. #2 by Splat on June 1, 2009 - 9:44 am

    But Holy Shock and FoL have instant and near-instant cast times, so they HAVE to be better, right?

    Right?

    Stop laughing at meeeeeeee! *cries*

  3. #3 by Narci on June 1, 2009 - 9:52 am

    Dear GOD let me tell you about the Failadin we had in Uld25 yesterday.

    How to spot a failadin:
    1. Did 900 hps. When asked why, said “I was dead a lot.” Nevermind that HPS … has nothing to do with death. So I asked again when he outlived me (after being told to beacon himself), and he was like “it’s all the people.” … In a 25 man raid. ALL THE PEOPLE? Have you never seen a 25 before? No, because you are wearing Naxx25 gear.
    2. Barely outhealed the other pally. Who was the offtank.
    3. Needed to be told that priests wanted wisdom, not might, after every single wipe.
    4. Waited for resses.
    5. Brought 26s for repairs. Begged for gold.
    6. I was dead and watched him heal one attempt. He targetted his target by clicking on mobs, and then target of targetting them. I whispered him and was like “wtf raidframes?” and he was like “I have grid but this is just as good.” NO. IT IS NOT.

  4. #4 by Narci on June 1, 2009 - 9:57 am

    …I would reply directly to Pike but I can’t figure out how :X

    so.

    1. My bestest healy priest disc friend Shackles on Gluth. She is usually the only person in Naxx with any CC on record at all. She’s the bomb.
    2. I had a tankadin failadin come in and screw up an Undying once by AoE taunting two of the 4H instead of just one. Turns out he’d never trained Hand of Reckoning. Tried to argue that maybe it was a deep holy talent, so that’s why he’d never heard of it. All those deep holy taunts.

    To be fair, I am leveling a paladin at the moment. She’s… incredibly easy and virtually indestructible. I can see why so many idiots manage to get them to 80.

  5. #5 by HoHo on June 1, 2009 - 10:06 am

    I haven’t bothered to see how healers do but I’m always looking at other shadows when I’m in a pug. One thing I remember is a guy who managed a whopping 490 dps in 10-man OS without drakes. Each and every one of my spriest dots does higher DPS than this. He was basically not casting any dots and just walked around most of the time occasionally using MB and SWD. I wonder how did he manage to get to L80.

  6. #6 by Ambrosyne on June 1, 2009 - 10:40 am

    @Narci – you see the Recount meter there? How Araweg is just above some pally named Asmodye? ASMODYE WAS THE OFFTANK. HE BARELY OUTHEALED THE OT. I assure you there was enough healing going around-as a disc priest I was #2 on the meters by a long shot, which is just WRONG. D:

    @Pike – I try to shackle the shade before it eats me. Try. I also shackle on Gluth, sometimes.

  7. #7 by Kestrel on June 1, 2009 - 10:47 am

    Wait…wait…didn’t Shackle get replaced when Wrath came out? With, like, Divine Hymn or osmethne?

  8. #8 by Faid on June 1, 2009 - 11:15 am

    I’ll admit to most of my healing coming from Holy Shock. <_< But in my defense . . . I am, in fact, a failadin.

    PROT'S MY MAIN SPEC I PROMISE!!!

  9. #9 by theerivs on June 1, 2009 - 11:16 am

    Priests can heal…since when. I thought there all stuck in shadow form.

  10. #10 by kyrilean on June 1, 2009 - 11:19 am

    @Amber – LOL! How many pallies were in that group?

    @Splat – …can’t stop laughing… /cry

  11. #11 by Ambrosyne on June 1, 2009 - 12:00 pm

    @Kyr – …a lot.

  12. #12 by Hulan on June 1, 2009 - 12:10 pm

    Back in Vanilla WoW we used to run Scholo a lot and liked to have a priest MC the summoners. One Holy priest always refused telling us he was Holy and hadn’t spec’d for MC! I thought MC was a shadow-only spell for ages until a friend put me right :) (I should maybe add that this was long before I rolled my own priest)

  13. #13 by HP on June 1, 2009 - 12:34 pm

    ROFL!!! I lol’ed at the dumbadin ss, hahahha

  14. #14 by Hallo on June 1, 2009 - 12:47 pm

    I love posts like this, so cathartic.

    So we’re running Naxx 25 the other night and our “friend” ranked Shadow Priest is told she needs to MC the adds on Widow.

    “Hold on it’s not on my bars, which tree is that in again?”

    /facepalm

  15. #15 by Dorgol on June 1, 2009 - 2:12 pm

    As a Holy Paladn I have been outhealed by a Retribution Paladin thanks to Judgement of Light. Sure, most of it was overheal on his part, but it still happened.

    I suffer from the “lonely Holy Paladin” syndrome. You try looking decent on the healing meters when you are going up against 2 Resto Druids, 2 Holy Priests, and a resto Shammy.

    There are so many HoTs and group heals I can go entire encounters NEVER having to do more than chain-overheal the tank.

  16. #16 by Splat on June 1, 2009 - 2:25 pm

    @Dorgol

    That’s one reason why I don’t even USE a meter anymore. Since my guild is a little more on the small & casual side our philosophy is more along the lines of whatever isn’t a wipe is good enough.

    And if we do wipe, it’s the non-guildie’s fault :P (j/k)

  17. #17 by Ambrosyne on June 1, 2009 - 3:14 pm

    @Dorgol – I can promise you that he had PLENTY to heal, he just uh…wasn’t doing it. But yeah, I know what you mean! I remember that! Now as a disc priest, I go back to Naxx10, bubble the tank, and then can like…tab out for a few. XD

  18. #18 by candy on June 1, 2009 - 11:47 pm

    I was in 25 ulduar with a dumbadin the other night. She/he wouldn’t change auras from what the other pally had up even when asked in raid chat and on vent. And couldn’t be bothered to toss up buffs. And after ebing hassled the priest still had to ask, the officers had to ask for the priests and finally EVERYONE spammed macros asking for the priests to plz get Wiz now kthxbai so we could pull.

    So much fail, even before the sub 1k HPS.

    /cry

  19. #19 by Nymphys on June 15, 2009 - 5:50 pm

    You’re being a little hard on the Dumbadin. What percentage of heals Holy Shock takes up is largely dependant on what the other healers in the raid are doing. If he’s not buffing correctly, not aura’ing correctly, not SS’ing or not Bacon’ing crrecting, then you have a case against him. It sounds like he was doing all of those correctly, however, and the only case you have against him is Holy Shock taking up the largest percentage of his heals.

    Protip: This is the case for pally healers in a lot of raids. Not because it’s the only heal they’re using, or even the one they use the most, but its one of the few that gets off in time without being stomped by HoTs and thus not being 90% overheals.

    There seem to be a lot of fail priests/druids/shamans who think its their job whenever they see the MT take damage, to throw a heal at it.. prefereably something instant.

    HOTS ARE ENOUGH! Keep HoTs up, and the pally can heal the tank. The problem is all these scrubs running Grid who just click any frame that has damage – and most classes have faster heals than Holy Light. The result is, almost all my holy lights are overheal due to simply being slower by those Grid-clicking mana-wasters. Holy Shock however, is < 5% overheal. Thus, when you look at heal meters, don't be surprised if a healadin has more holy shock non-overheal than anything else.

    A priest/druid both with faster heals than holy light can easily make a paladin look bad simply by stomping all his heals. And they do. Because they're competing on meters. And have egos easily bruised when they're not at the top. Fail healers.

  20. #20 by Ambrosyne on June 16, 2009 - 10:48 am

    @Nymphys – Take a careful look at the bars BEHIND his spell percentages. Underneath the orange bar of Druid Domination is a white bar. That white bar is A LOT HIGHER than the paladin’s pink bar. That’s a problem. Do you know WHY that is a problem?

    That white bar belongs to me-a disc priest.

    Why the FUCK was a disc priest out healing a holy pally, when they were on only one of two tanks? That fact, the FRANTIC pace at which the druid and I were healing, and his odd spell mix tells me that he sucked.

    He had a tank to heal, and he wasn’t doing it. I know this because I ended up having to do it.

    I played a holy pally for four years-I know how one should look on the meters, and what spell mixes you tend to see for various situation. That one screamed “I came here and afk’d my way through the instance to collect purples”.

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