Raiding With Your SO and Not Killing Them

…can be really hard.

I really wanted to punt Josh last night, which is a hilarious image if you consider the fact that I’m 5’9 and 125 lbs at most and he’s 6’10 and 280.  I could maybe get him to move a couple of inches if I ran into him going full tilt, but I don’t think I can punt him.


Look, kidlets, if you raid with your significant other you have to remember that what you do in a raid isn’t just affecting 9 or 24 strangers.  It’s affecting 8 or 23 people and the person you have the warm fuzzies for.  This means that if you’re aggravating people by standing far down the hall because you tabbed out to read something else and everyone is waiting on you to buff, your other half may very well be thinking of slapping you and unlike everyone else they can actually do it.

In any case, why the hell is it a-ok to aggravate said strangers, anyway?  If you’re in a raid then FOR FUCK’S SAKE RAID OR LEAVE. 

I won’t even touch the “officers should set an example” aspect of it.

Besides, if people know that you’re a couple and you’re not responding, guess who people are going to pester?  Yep!  Your SO!  Who the hell doesn’t want to act like your mother?  …yup, same answer!


…this is why Josh should not be allowed to bring home new toys on raid nights.  He wants to play with the toy, rather than raid. 


Derp derp.

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  1. #1 by kyrilean on October 20, 2009 - 10:25 am

    LOL! Yeah, but it was sort of a snoozefest wasn’t it? Although the mage summoning food and water during the pull was interesting…

  2. #2 by Grimmtooth on October 20, 2009 - 10:26 am

    You think that’s bad, I have my wife AND one kid in the guild … I get RL /tells alla time. “Can Grimm come out and play?” Har har, so funny.

    What ever happened to the good old days of turning off the PC and sulking with a good book or the director’s cut of Buckaroo Banzai?

  3. #3 by Ambrosyne on October 20, 2009 - 10:32 am


  4. #4 by Psynister on October 20, 2009 - 10:33 am

    The same can be applied to non-raids as well. Just simple grouping for doing quests. We sat there for an hour and a half waiting for my wife and her friend to do low level profession crap while the other player (wife’s friend’s best friend) and I sat there waiting, and waiting, and waiting.

    We’ve got self-imposed parental controls to limit our play time, and we’re spending it doing professions. Not on one character, but on alts as well. At least, that’s how she’s spending it while I’m running circles around the town. We aren’t “allowed” to get too far ahead of each other in levels or we aren’t “leveling together” anymore, so yippy for screwing around for half of our time.

    And when we finally get moving I go blow stuff up with my druid teaming up with the hunter (the one waiting with me) and the ladies complain about us killing things too fast and moving on to the next quest.

    Your rant just fed into mine, but I’ll cut mine short, just in case my SO comes along and has a look.

  5. #5 by Ambrosyne on October 20, 2009 - 10:36 am

    @Psynister – I’m the one going “DON’T OUTLEVEL ME” D:< but I'm also the one going "GOD YOU WANTED ME TO DO THIS AND NOW YOU'RE DICKING AROUND IN DALARAN WTF".

    I know the pain…I know…the pain…

  6. #6 by Psynister on October 20, 2009 - 10:46 am

    I don’t mind taking it slow on the leveling, I love the idea of actually leveling a toon with her instead of having us both go solo, but she finds some reason to throw that out the window every time we try.

    If I had known that I would be doing nothing for an hour and a half last night then I would have jumped on a different toon during that time so that I could actually do something.

    Man, I’m going to turn this into a therapy session before too long. I feel you, girl. I feel you.

  7. #7 by Celaeno on October 20, 2009 - 10:51 am

    I wish that I had gotten into vent (I’d planned on it, but Matt was actually sleeping next to me for most of ToC so I tried to be veeeery quiet) because after every wipe I was wondering what the heck was going on, especially that first one that had people going LOLHUNT.

    I had your problem when my best friend still played. We were in the same raiding guild and frequently she would fake disconnect or just not show up when she didn’t want to raid and everyone always asked me what her problem was, like I was her keeper. Siiiiiigh.

  8. #8 by strumpet101 on October 20, 2009 - 10:59 am

    I think my SO has a tendency to get more irritated with me than other fellow raiders because he can hear the muttering that I do to myself when I’m confused. The confusion might not be apparent to other raiders, because I usually figure it out without asking, but he hears the panic I don’t let others see.

  9. #9 by Kaylex on October 20, 2009 - 11:14 am

    My husband was the main tank, and I was the main healer in a BC raiding guild. ohh FFS… many angry nights. Now, I raid and he plays Xbox. Works better that way.

  10. #10 by Ambrosyne on October 20, 2009 - 11:15 am

    @strumpet101 – I just get extra doses of QQ and Angry from Josh. I hate to think of my own random mutterings…a lot of “OH GOD OH GOD DON’T DIE” and “SHIT” and “NOOOOO”, for the most part.

    @Celaeno – I was on vent and I was just as confused as you were with that first wipe. /headdesk

    Oh, Hunt.

  11. #11 by kyrilean on October 20, 2009 - 11:55 am

    @Celaeno & Amber – I don’t think it was confusing. I think he thought he misdirected, but he didn’t. :) Although his excuse that he feigned death was epic! Yeah, you feigned death, but it killed a healer. LOL!

  12. #12 by Celaeno on October 20, 2009 - 12:24 pm

    That taught me that I should just not stand next to Hunt. I was stunned by a snobold and frantically trying to GTFO from the death that was coming for my face, thought I caused the wipe because I didn’t know what the hell.

    I feel bad for anyone who has to listen to a healer’s mumblings. “Oh god! CLICK FASTER!”

  13. #13 by Congrats on October 20, 2009 - 12:39 pm

    Wow, 5’9 and 125lbs? Congrats on playing WoW and being physically fit!

  14. #14 by Anna on October 20, 2009 - 1:02 pm

    I have this problem as well – and add in that I’m a raid officer and my husband is not.

    While I can’t do anything about him wandering off and expecting me to inform everyone of his not being there (I’m working on it) – I did finally sit down with the other raid officers and tell them, flat out, that if there was a problem with him, I needed not only to not be involved, I needed to not be part of the conversation.

    Because while I may have some weird tiny authority in the raid (as a heal lead to his main tank but not-officer position), it is not my job to tell him when he isn’t behaving appropriately. Not to mention that it’d get blown off if I said it.

    The other officers in my raid were very accomodating, and it helped a lot :)

  15. #15 by Vorian87 on October 20, 2009 - 1:03 pm

    I play with my girlfriend, the only cinch though is that we are on opposite sides of the country (I’m in California and she’s in South Carolina).

    So any muttering and complaining happens in whispers :P

  16. #16 by Ambrosyne on October 20, 2009 - 1:20 pm

    @Ky – It took me forever and a lot of confusion before I found out that MDing the way I did in BC-with distracting shot-got me a boss in my face. Distracting shot is now a lot more distracting!

    @Cel – don’t stand near Hunt, Wolv, Phaseroll…

  17. #17 by Pumphrey on October 20, 2009 - 3:08 pm

    I play with my wife and well she is the “Lets go see stuff and walk around in the world and blah blah blah.” But I am like lets get to 80 and hit the endgame scene hard kinda guy. So every time we “Lvl together” I end up just being like F it I’m lvling Ill power lvl you when I get to 80.

    Her current main is a druid that I lvled from 70-80 cuz she was lazy.

    I love my wife. (she healz good, just HATES lvling)

  18. #18 by Majestros on October 20, 2009 - 6:14 pm

    I aggravate the hell out of my GF with my antics during raids. If it wasn’t for the sex i would probably be out on my ass. The fact I’m a raid officer and our guilds current Main Warrior Tank means that when i get up to my usual antics, there are no end to the amount of whispers she gets.

    Course, when i host raids she gets up to shenanigans herself and gives me all kinds of trouble.

    So its all fair in the end.

    One of the rules she and i set forth with our guild once we started dating was that no one could complain about us to the other unless it was a ‘serious’ issue. That really makes a difference.

  19. #19 by Saunder on October 20, 2009 - 7:20 pm

    See you have it all the wrong way around. I would *love* for me to be having this problem as it would mean that my wife played, and played enough to raid. I should be so lucky! She still thinks that Tetris is the pinnacle of modern gaming :D

  20. #20 by Pike on October 21, 2009 - 7:57 am

    Raiding with my BF was difficult for this reason:

    Raiding made him grumpy.

    See, he was always both guild leader and raid leader. He’s just a leadership type of guy. If something in the raid goes wrong… yipes. I mean, we’re not talking “50 DKP MINUS” or anything, since he was actually always very encouraging in raid, but afterward, if he wanted to vent? Yeah.

    I’m sort of glad he quit playing… >_>

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