Tug of War

I have heroics to grind on Lyrandre, Jamethera, and Lyestra.  There’s also various guildies, including my sister, that I’d like to do more heroics with.

I have alts-a shaman, a mage, and a druid-that I want to level.

I’d like to take my alt to more of the guild runs if they need her, and pug VoA and stuff.

I have friends I’d like to RP with.

Yet…I don’t do any of those things that much.  In fact, aside from raid days, I can be something of an absentee GM, and it’s not because I want to be.  It’s because I’m always playing this game of tug o’ war with this game, other stuff I’m obsessed with (PONYS!), and a very awesome but semi-burned out boyfriend.  Oh, and this whole measly 24 hours in a day thing that is rudely interrupted by work.  And sleep.  Fuck both those things, yo.

On any given day, it may go like this: I want to play WoW, but Josh does not want to play WoW, he wants to play Borderlands.  Okay, let’s play Borderlands!  I like Borderlands, so this is all well and good.  Pew pew, I set things on fire! 

Then it’s a raid night, and another raid night.  With luck, I do some random heroics after the raid is done.  Yay, badges!  But then we have a free night and I want to play WoW some more…but Josh does not want to play WoW.  He used up all of his desire for WoW tanking raids for me.   So we RP, throwing posts back and forth via AIM.  Well I have time between posts, so while doing this I can log onto WoW and RP, or I…play Dragon Age.  Yay, pause button.  Even when I poke into WoW RP, though, it’s on another sever because…uh, my priest is on a PvP server.  No lolRPs there.

Then the next day I want to play WoW, but Josh does not want to play WoW…and unless he has another game to amuse himself with, then you’ve guessed it…I don’t play WoW, because I have a guilt complex that runs about five miles deep.  Anyway.  Next thing you know, I’m logging onto my shaman briefly to poke the AH and I glance at Josh’s rogue, who levels with my shaman.  I see that he hasn’t logged on in two weeks.  Ugh.  So much for this alt I really really really want to level.  Oh well, let’s RP with Josh some more!  I can quest a bit between posts on my druid and…oh, right, I hate questing by myself, and I can’t instance and write at the same time.  No one is around my RP servers and free to RP there, either.  Hello, Dragon Age…

Then maybe it’s Friday.  I get off work, I go to a riding lesson (PONYS), and afterwards it’s often Social Time With the Steve.  No WoW that night.  Saturdays it’s Fallout night, but that’s at six!  Plenty of time, right?  Well, no.  I get up at 8, volunteer at a therapy barn from 9 am until 2, 2:30 pm (PONYS!).  I get home and sometimes Josh is still asleep, so then I have to rouse him.  That takes…a long time, some days, especially those in which I collapse next to him for a nap.  If we have to clean or go grocery shopping then…well, no, I don’t typically touch WoW those days, either.  Sometimes, though.

Sunday gets interrupted by laundry, but I may or may not wrangle some more WoW time then.  Regardless, it’s surprisingly hard to blog 5 days a week about a game where I may only play it for 3.  And more than that, occasionally someone will make some remark-jokingly, of course, but still some remark-about how I’m not around much, and it will send me into arm flailing guilt mode (I did mention the guilt complex).

I don’t mean to make this sound like Josh is a dick or anything.  He’s just not as into the game as I am, and likes to do other things-often, with me.   I mean I could say “No, I want to play WoW tonight” sometimes but I don’t.  No one can be blamed for my must-please-everyone-else tendencies but me.  Sometimes he’ll go binge on other games (Assassin’s Creed 2, for example) and then I’ll happily binge on WoW.  But having had a significant other who played MASSIVE amounts of WoW and didn’t really want to spend time with me, I’ll gratefully accept someone on the other side of the spectrum…

…even if my shaman is level 38 forever and ever and ever. 

I had no idea what to post about today, can you tell?



  1. #1 by Celaeno on January 18, 2010 - 2:18 pm

    That’s why I’m not often around in the evening myself, unless there’s a raid. Matt says he’s fine with me playing as much as I want, but then he flops around complaining of being bored and I think “I should be entertaining him, we can do things together!” and that means WoW is out of the way.

    He resists every attempt by me and the roommate to get him interested in the game, too. :P

  2. #2 by Prot on January 18, 2010 - 2:32 pm

    Really, all i read was “Blah blah blah, josh is to blame, blah blah blah.”
    So, if you like I can try to set you up with some very “persuasive” friends to take care of this potential problem of yours. ;-D
    I used to have a similar problem with my wife, but now she plays on different servers (she suffers from altitis to about 8+toons on 3+servers) or she plays Plants vs. Zombies. And i get my raid times twice a week for it.

  3. #3 by Kadomi on January 18, 2010 - 2:34 pm

    Reminds me of my weekends. I like to go all WoW-crazy on weekends, which used to work in the past. However, the SO is completely burnt out on WoW. Up until Yogg-Saron she raided to keep me happy, but the day we killed him was the last raid she attended. I think she’ll let her account run out.

    She now gets those moments that when she is bored of whatever she’s doing, I can sense those waves of guilt rolling off me and tensions run high. Spouseaggro hasn’t been an issue since she started playing WoW in 2005, but I think this is her first and final break from the game. :/

  4. #4 by (un)Holy Dueg! on January 18, 2010 - 3:20 pm


  5. #5 by Heather on January 18, 2010 - 3:44 pm

    I know what you mean but from the other perspective. My boyfriend plays WoW more than me, simply because I have so many other online commitments (websites, rpgs, graphics etc.) and there are times when I have to say to him that I just don’t have time to play WoW with him. The way we get around it is simply that we are both happy to play WoW seperatly. We do heroics together sometimes and we are always raiding together, so everything in between we are happy to do on our own from time to time.

  6. #6 by Ambrosine on January 18, 2010 - 4:09 pm

    @Heather – the problem is that, unless he’s involved in some other game, he sits there sighing…these big, heavy bored sighs…and when he’s not doing that, he’s saying, “I’m bored.”



  7. #7 by Arrens on January 18, 2010 - 5:16 pm

    I can’t imagine who gives you that guilt complex about not being around. I mean, God knows /I/ never do that. Ever. Really.

    Shut up. Stop looking at me like that.

  8. #8 by theerivs on January 18, 2010 - 5:18 pm

    If in doubt blame the mage!

  9. #9 by Joe Ego on January 18, 2010 - 5:37 pm

    I fail to see how this applies to Consecration, or how it could be solved with a liberal application of Consecration. In fact, feeling tapped out in this way would imply LESS Consecration!

    And we can’t have that.

  10. #10 by Xuna of Ragnaros on January 19, 2010 - 6:28 am

    lets face it.

    WoW is not what it used to be, and if you have a raiding agenda, the natural burnout process will happen even faster. To ignite the “flame” of wow is easy, but to reignite once you got bored with the curve of progress, is not an easy task.

    Idk. YOur situation is too delicate, and we, your comment people, do not have any kind of right over any part of your desicions. So if will be wrong to encourage something or advise as well. Your desicions are always 50-50, Just like everyone else’s.

    I really should think ahead before writing. Dont know how to continue…

  11. #11 by theerivs on January 19, 2010 - 10:12 am

    If your trying to please everyone, you are setting yourself up to fail. Have a vision of where you want the guild to go, and if you beleive in that vision people will follow. If not fuck them.

  12. #12 by Kotakh on January 19, 2010 - 11:40 am

    As for why you feel guilt, i think its your maternal instinct kicking in :)

  13. #13 by Prot on January 19, 2010 - 12:31 pm

    My wife pulls the “I’m Bored” card all the time. My response is “What do you want to do?” to which she hems, haws and says nothing. Thus I continue on my merry way until she demands an ICE COFFEE and once she has accepted my tribute i’m free to go back to what I was doing.

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