Open Letters to Pugs

Dear Fail Bear,

Asking if everyone knew the fight, given that it was Oc and most people bail first chance they get, was good.  Announcing “pulling” into the silence that followed when everyone wasn’t even back on their mounts yet was silly (many other questions will be ignored, but usually a ‘ready?’ will garner a hurried response if not).  Trying to vote kick me because I suggested that you ask before pulling (again: “pulling” =/= asking or a ready check) is silly, especially as your healer is my guildmate.  You are probably not going to succeed, and the person you tried to vote kick will know about it. 

Check guild tags, yo.

The cheeky hunter

Your turn!  Later today, if luck is with me, the Saurfang strat will go up.

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  1. #1 by coup on January 26, 2010 - 11:10 am

    now u dont need all four other party members to click yes to kick someone… think just 3 or maybe 2 not too sure because someone was kicked im my group before i even clicked anything

  2. #2 by theerivs on January 26, 2010 - 11:14 am

    If the healer was Cel, I’d say yes to the kick. LOL!

  3. #3 by Wikwocket on January 26, 2010 - 11:25 am

    @coup: 3 votes are needed to vote-kick someone.

  4. #4 by puggingpally on January 26, 2010 - 11:41 am

    Oooh, that makes for an awkward remaining run.
    “So…looks like that hunter is still… oh you’re in the same guild, isn’t that nice.”

    And, I’ll bite, I have a letter of my own!

    Dear Terrible DK (Shocker, I know),

    We were a little afraid that you’d be terrible just because you’re a DK and had precious little HP for a ‘tank.’ When you sprinted ahead and pulled the first Azjol-Nerub trash pack before most of us had zoned in, it was confirmed.

    When two of your DPSers had died before the first boss because of your complete inability to hold aggro, we were starting to worry about finishing the place.

    But running down to pull Anub while 2/3 DPSers were still looting the trash mobs at the top? That’s truly classy. While it was somewhat amusing to watch the three of you dancing around for ten minutes while stuck on the other side of the webbing, it’s not what I signed up for. When it resulted in an inevitable wipe, I hope you weren’t surprised to be kicked so fast your head spun… Three of us were in the same guild.

    My only regret is that you surely went on to inflict your particular brand of stupidity on another group while we brought in a tank from our guild, and, FYI? DPS: we aren’t just decorative. Next time waiting an extra ten seconds could save you a half hour.

    The mage who may not be playing a healer at the moment but I’m still important, dammit.

  5. #5 by Xuna of Ragnaros on January 26, 2010 - 11:56 am

    Dear VoA PuG Raider

    I know you are a ret pally and I know you care a lot about dps, such checking recount during the trash to foresee if we have enough dps to down Koralon, but whining about my dps, and then started to complain about the dps of the other paladin and trying to get us kicked is not going to work as I was the healer and the other paladin was specced prot.

    And yet you complained when you were the one kicked out by the leader for such asshatery.

    truly yours,

    that healer who sometimes MIND SEAR trash

  6. #6 by Thromanan on January 26, 2010 - 12:11 pm

    Dear Impatient Dps:

    When I am on my Dk tank, while in Old Kingdom pulling multiple packs of trash warlocks and Elementals “for” me is not appreciated. When I comment that “This is why slow and smooth is faster than rushed and dead.” insults and a vote to kick are also not appreciated. Yes i have full T9+, but if you wanted to pace the group get on your tank and tank something. (of course you have a tank also, and of course it’s uber and so are you).

    When I am on my shaman healer, on the first boss in HoR, After you are feared please gather in one area so Chain Heal can hit you all. I promise that running the extra 3 steps will increase your dps by simple expedient of letting you live. If your fail dps allows stacks of Hopelessness get to full, pushing my buttons harder will not make you live longer. The comment that “Me and Douchebad Mc’Guildy never wipe in here, wtf?” just means that you usually have better people to carry you through here than me.



  7. #7 by Joe Ego on January 26, 2010 - 12:30 pm

    Dear competent Priest,

    I want to apologize for doing Better Off Dred without warning you. My pocket-Ret is pretty aggressive sometimes. Thank you for keeping the two of us alive and I’m sorry I couldn’t find enough AoE damage to get the 600dps rogue and his 1000dps friend killed.

    Your friend,

  8. #8 by Jake on January 26, 2010 - 1:13 pm

    i was going to write a letter to the lowbie LFD grps i have been tanking on my 28 warrior but nothing sounded quite as witty as the above letters so i will just nod in solemn agreement. /nod

    but in defence of the LFD i actually had a really good Gnomer grp last night that let ME pull, let ME tank, and DPS that understood how omen worked, been trying all week to finish gnomer and they finally made it possible and that satchel was the sweetest tasting satchel i have gotten from LFD. and keep up the great posts i always lol :D

  9. #9 by Bhorg on January 26, 2010 - 3:08 pm

    Could be worse you could have found this guy:
    Deadinside – Gorefiend.

    Screen shots here:

  10. #10 by Fuubaar on January 26, 2010 - 3:12 pm

    Dear Person who Signed up as the “healer” of my lowbie LFD groups,
    I really enjoyed watching everyone’s health slowly depreciate over the course of the instance. Watching the Tank continue to gather up adds while you meleed was great. I’m so glad we got to see you contribute in the way that you did with you uber DPS. My Elemental Shaman was more than happy to pick up your slack when you felt the urge to DPS like your warrior friends. Swinging your Staff around really made that difference when you kept our group’s safety in mind. I’m so glad that you let my level 17 Warlock learn to bandage the tank while you ran off to help him pull the next group for him. I’ll bet he appreciated that so much that you were talking the time out of your precious day to teach him all of the ways of Tanking on your Resto Specced Druid. You were so BA that you didn’t even do it in Bear form because that might hinder your abilities to see your Staff in action.

    Yours Truly,

    The person who signed up to actually DPS

  11. #11 by CMK on January 26, 2010 - 4:34 pm

    My last Mana Tombs run started with me, my pet healer, and three DK DPSers. Before we’d even gotten to the endboss, all three DKs had left for personal reasons. We ended up with a hunter, pally and balance druid.

    It’s not like Tombs is the longest, most arduous instance ever, and my little tank-healer team is beyond reproach – how could you possibly queue for a BC random with so little time to devote?

  12. #12 by Celaeno on January 26, 2010 - 5:10 pm


    I’ve got a kick for you! :P

  13. #13 by Rake on January 26, 2010 - 5:28 pm

    Dear Moron DK DPSer.

    I’m not a fan of GS. I’ve seen a 3k gs shadow priest somehow manage to outdps a fail arc Mage spamming barrage with over 5k gs. But stereotypes are there for a reason. When the big glowy boss in Nexus shrinks down and spawns hose addy things, and your auto attack melée is producing those funny little “immune” messages . . . Yeah, those. It means you need to go kill the other glowing things rather than the boss.

    When your healer points this out – yes, I wear plate AND heal, amazing innit? – avoid the urge to come back with what you probably thought was a snappy reply. Because your lack of typing skills, a formal education and a cerebrum made your reply laughable. I trust you enjoyed the use of bandages for the remainder of the run?

  14. #14 by theerivs on January 26, 2010 - 5:50 pm


    I wear a cup under my dress.

  15. #15 by Joe Ego on January 26, 2010 - 7:18 pm

    I must admit I’m getting very interested in leveling an alt and healing LFD groups just so I can not heal l33t-speaking, 10yo, elitist failures.

  16. #16 by Dristanel on January 26, 2010 - 9:28 pm

    Dear Failadin:

    You know that thing? Yeah, you know that thing. The one in your prot book with the pretty symbol. When you cast it, it makes spiffy red swirlies. That thing? Don’t tell me you don’t have it because you’re holy spec’d.

    …Wait, why are you tanking in holy spec again? You know, nevermind. About that thing. All paladins get it.

    But you ‘haven’t trained in 5 levels lmao’. Oh. Well then. That’s a different story.

    Hello disc priest, bright spot of my 6am PUGing in the Retaliation battlegroup 47-54 bracket. You make me smile, because you’re a better tank than the paladin who signed up to do it. So I’ll heal you and quietly giggle to myself as you tank the final boss in– god damnit, why are we in Maraudon STILL?

    Your in resto (and sometimes enh!) shamaninity,

  17. #17 by LabRat on January 26, 2010 - 9:53 pm

    Dear very uber hunter,

    I am not impressed that you are doing 5k dps in Halls of Stone, nor am I going to be inclined to look down on the two other DPS you instantly called “bad” because they were doing 1.5k. I don’t care that they are, that’s appropriate for Halls of Stone. Meanwhile, you’re making my job more difficult because in your eagerness to maintain your Recount erection, you’re pulling threat like whoa and even pulling for me, which makes tanks Very Cranky. Yes, I am a control freak. But you are depending on my ability to maintain control to keep your squishy butt alive, so pipe down. The priest behind me is even more over your uberness than I am.

    And no, we did not miss you when you declared us “fail” and dropped after pulling. I picked everything up again just fine. And having to remember how to do the Sjonnir fight without zerg DPS was still much better than putting up with you.

    No love,
    Juujube the tankadin

  18. #18 by Avalonna on January 26, 2010 - 10:10 pm

    Hehe this is fun

    Dear Idiot Hunter in my Heroic Old Kingdom Random,

    I know you think you’re leet. You must be, you told us your gearscore was bitchin’. But when I say “hold on, one sec so I can equip some gems” you’re not giving me a good impression when I keep seeing you say “OMG LETS GO”. I’m sure you have very important things to do, and being stuck with scrubs like us on our alts is ruining your image, but it was five seconds.

    You should probably realize you’re NOT a tank as well. So when OUR tank pulls a group of mobs, you probably shouldn’t take it upon yourself to pull another. And when we wipe because of that, saying “OMG this is why I hate pugging when I’m not tanking” isn’t fooling anyone. We’re pretty sure you’re retarded on your tank as well. But I bet that one has a kickass gearscore too.

    Hugs n Kisses

  19. #19 by Voink on January 27, 2010 - 4:22 am

    I’m going to throw a curveball and write a positive one.

    Dear pug group I did Wailing Caverns last night with on my baby mage alt Frezon,

    I wish all of my 80 groups were just like you guys. Even if we couldn’t find the last boss for half an hour and had to call it due to the late hour, I had a blast and everything went down quickly. The stuff we could find, anyways.

    Let’s do it again sometime.



  20. #20 by Kiramaren/Shadowhisper on January 27, 2010 - 12:07 pm

    Dear Phail mage,
    I am a tank, that is my role, that is how I am specced, I am a big bear that is hard to miss.
    Normally tanks lead the charge, as in they go in first and get there faces smashed… last time I checked mages don’t have a tank spec, I could be misinformed about this but I’m pretty sure I am accurate in this. So seeing you do not have the tools to tank, please don’t… no seriously please don’t and don’t bitch when you pull first and I cant peel them off you fast enough, I have 1 aoe taunt and my growl is on a 6 sec cool down and I had little rage, when you keep pew pewing them its hard to get aggro over them and after awhile if you keep doing it, I will let them kill you and maybe laugh while doing it then once you are a corpse on the cold cold Old K floor I will pick them up and take them down. Yes I am well geared but that doesn’t mean that I need ‘help’ for us to pull moar! FASTER… depending on my healer I go at a very fast clip anyway. Pulling 4 grps at once isn’t so much fun, 2 is manageable maybe maybe 3… but 4 seriously?!?! WTF :s I was a sad panda that I couldn’t kick your ass and had to wait for the 15min debuff.


    ~Rage filled Bear

  21. #21 by Nzete on January 27, 2010 - 2:25 pm

    Dear first fail dk “tank” of the day,
    Really, you need to hit all the mobs in the trash pack you pull. Shammies have no fade button, and I will get aggro on the ones that just saw your ugly face the very first time I heal your squishy butt.

    Malamu, the resto shammy

    Dear second fail dk “tank” of the day,
    I appreciate that you hit all the mobs in the pull once. However, I didn’t appreciate pulling threat on the last one standing (after 3 had died already) by just healing your squishy tail.


    Dear third fail dk “tank” of the day,
    I have now seen it all… you suck… spellpower plate is only for holy paladins… die in a fire, I’m out of here.

    The shammy that is done with fail PUGs for today.

  22. #22 by Brian Inman on January 27, 2010 - 10:20 pm

    Vote Kicking with another guildmate. That is classic. Who would even think about doing that?

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