Where are my sparklies?

Lately I feel like I do a lot of complaining about holy paladins, which is just silly because I was the one who decided to change my main from my disc priest to the holy paladin in the first place! And while I LOVE healing as a paladin (crazy, I know. I just love pushing two buttons), that doesn’t excuse that there are sometimes serious issues with it.

Yeah, I’m talking about the lack of awesome spell effects.

Look at discipline priests – Amber gets to throw out OMG PEW PEW LAZER BEAMS, and when she bubbles someone and there’s a crit, BAM, rainbows in your face! What’s not to like about rainbow soap bubbles? Even holy priests have PoM bouncing around, and probably other cool looking things that I don’t know about, because I’ve never been a Fail Angel. Trees get little green leaves and swirls on their targets, which is pretty sweet and very fitting for the class. Shamans have some sort of water falling on your head spell that makes me go “crap, what am I standing in, MOVE” whenever it’s cast on me, because I’ve been taught that if you see something besides plain ground, you need to haul ass. Not to mention that chain heal looks pretty snazzy when it’s moving around.

What do paladins have? Itty beams of light and glitter, and the exact same beams and glitter for both FoL and HL. This is insufficient for my needs, Blizzard. I require big explosions of light – when I cast Holy Light on a tank I want to see Light dripping from his every pore. Beacon of Light? HA, those silly Elder’s moonstones that everyone’s playing with right now are brighter than my bacon. There could be no confusion amongst multiple paladins in a raid when it comes to who’s Beaconing whom if there were actually a huge pillar of light over the Beacon, rather than an animation that makes the target dispense some light beams from her armpit. Sacred Shield is even disappointing because it doesn’t look like ANYTHING most of the time.

Pally wings are pretty much the only amazing spell effect that I have at my disposal, but WAIT! I have to save those for important moments involving Divine Plea and massive amounts of damage, so they don’t even get blown on many fights unless I do it at the end, because I’m always worried that I might need them later. Their awesome is not enough to make up for the fact that the majority of my healing looks boring, like this:

Amber Edits to Add:

Here, I fixed it for you.

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  1. #1 by Anna on February 19, 2010 - 2:27 pm

    Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

    (If Beacon of Light looked like an Elder’s Moonstone? That would be SO AWESOME.)

  2. #2 by shieldbreakr on February 19, 2010 - 2:37 pm

    I support bacon looking like the elder’s moonstone. That would just be damned awesome.

    HL special effect idea: white lightning like the beginning of the white wedding music video. Everyone would have to check their monitor brightness/contrast and a giant “warning, epileptic seizuires!” popup would have to happen with the raid invite, but everyone would know a paladin is in the building.

    Paladin Mount option that goes w/ the holy light change: Monster Trucks.

  3. #3 by renault on February 19, 2010 - 2:38 pm

    You had me at armpit light beams!


  4. #4 by Ambrosine on February 19, 2010 - 2:40 pm


  5. #5 by Pixelated Executioner on February 19, 2010 - 2:52 pm

    I’m Pixelated Executioner, and I approve this message.

    Especially that tag about Stephenie Meyer.

    (Oh, and Holy Paladins should be able to heal with Consecrate. It’s supposed to be blessed ground, dammit!)

  6. #6 by Ambrosine on February 19, 2010 - 2:54 pm

    Pix, no one would stand in it…they’d go stand in the fire, instead.

  7. #7 by Cel on February 19, 2010 - 2:54 pm

    @Renault That’s how a friend described them to me after we got Beacon with the 3.0 patch. What has been seen cannot be unseen!

    @Ambrosine I love you forever.

  8. #8 by crankyhealer on February 19, 2010 - 2:56 pm

    Cheer up. I put green swirlies around people that look like graphical indications of severe body odor.

  9. #9 by Oasic on February 19, 2010 - 3:08 pm

    Holy priests have guardian spirit! Sweet 2D wings… I swear I have casted them on you at one point!

    CoH gives us the aura of pali-rez for an instant. (At least I think it used to, I honestly can’t picture it right now)

  10. #10 by Ambrosine on February 19, 2010 - 3:11 pm

    Oasic I need to go home and demote you for using “casted” in my blog.

  11. #11 by dorgol on February 19, 2010 - 3:16 pm

    I remember when Beacon was being discussed in Beta… and my thought was exactly as you say – something like the Moonstones, but more Holy! Golden Light instead of Sun Light!

    Then I got Beacon, cast it on someone… and then recast it because I didn’t see anything happen.

    That said, I’m OK with our limited animations. We are humble servants of the Light, not extravagant “LOOK AT ME I’M HOLY AND STUFF!” people like those Priest guys.

  12. #12 by Oasic on February 19, 2010 - 3:27 pm

    @Ambrosine Joke is on you! I am already a Searing Totem for muting you in the healing channel :-)

  13. #13 by Ambrosine on February 19, 2010 - 3:27 pm


    /pew pew lasers

  14. #14 by Cynwise on February 19, 2010 - 3:38 pm

    I’m just amazed at how many tags you have relating to sparkly things. I am in awe.

  15. #15 by Joe Ego on February 19, 2010 - 3:53 pm

    There will be NO PURPLE SPARKLIES in my healing, tyvm.

    Beacon should put a mini, golden fail angel over the head of the target that rains shimmering golden sparks on to the target.

  16. #16 by @valkyrierisen on February 19, 2010 - 5:58 pm

    So I laughed, and since I has disc priest/resto tree/resto sham as well as my holy pally, I totally agree.

    However my healing-addict buddy says “Wings is the only cool thing pallys get” and he’s SO RIGHT.

    Our sparklies need to involve WINGS and PILLARS OF OMFG LIGHT (I’m totally all for stealing those Elder’s Moonstone beams)

  17. #17 by @valkyrierisen on February 19, 2010 - 6:02 pm

    Pally wings are the best animation in the game. So, our sparklies NEED to include wings of awesomeness and stealing the Elder’s Moonstone pillar of awesome light animation.

    Those and maybe a shield animation that pops up on people with.. yknow… sacred shield put on them. Big, glowy, yellow shield. /nod

  18. #18 by Author of Armpit Light Beams on March 1, 2010 - 10:02 pm

    Listen Ori, I’ve got this whole deal with the beacon (or as you call it bacon) figured out. Before all Paladins wore Sure brand deodorant…. Due to budget constraints they are no longer Sure therefore they must hide their stubborn white deodorant residue.

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