Posts Tagged adventures in Looking for Douchebags

Inevitable Betrayal

My priest is now solidly geared, with more pieces of tier than my main (probably because I keep giving away tokens to guildies for their 4 piece….).  I am still working on Lyrandre because her DPS shoulders and chest still have to go, but the bulk of my alt-obsession has refocused on my druid.

Poor Aedeminar. She was rolled in vanilla and never got anywhere, really. I can conquor my hatred of questing by tackling the LFD though!
…yeah. We all know what my leveling LFD life is like, don’t we?

There is a REASON she is tank and resto specced. It’s because when she hit Wrath content and Utgarde vomited up all the Tanks Who Were Not Tanks, I said AAAAAAAH FUCKING CUMGUZZLING WHORES and started tanking.

Well, I hit that point again the other day, after healing a couple of really special cookies. So I queued as tank and got Halls of Stone.

Auuugh, but okay. I was pulling cautiously because, come on, it has been a LONG TIME since I have tanked on Mina–at least a year. Shit CHANGED, yo, and I have hardly any idea what I’m doing. At some point, however, I observed that someone was running ahead, grabbing additional mobs, and dragging them back to me.

Hey!  Hey, mother fucker, that’s rude! I don’t know if I’m prepared for that shit! Of course the obvious answer is to LET THE IDIOT DIE, but wait.
Wait.

When I saw who was doing it, I was shocked. IT WAS THE HEALER. THE MOTHER FUCKING PRIEST HEALER.

WHY DO YOU BETRAY ME SO, HEALER? ARE WE NOT KINDRED? DO WE NOT KNOW HOW FUCKING ANNOYING IT IS WHEN SOMEONE DOES THAT BECAUSE THE TANK CAN MISS SOME AND THEN THEY ARE BEATING ON YOU AND OH GOD WHY.

WHY. I CAN’T EVEN LET YOU DIE OUT OF REVENGE, FUUUCK.

And then I saw him using mind sear on single targets and I was just like dear lord, there is just no winning this.

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My Life As A 75 Resto Druid, In A Nutshell

  • Cast ALL THE HOTS
  • Get ALL THE ADD AGGRO
  • Die
  • Remember Shadowmeld
  • Cast ALL THE HOTS
  • Get ALL THE AGGRO
  • Shadowmeld!
  • CAST ALL THE HOTS
  • Get ALL THE AGGRO
  • Shadowmeld is on cooldown
  • Die

This is how bear became my off spec. It might be time to revist that…

Um, how do you bear tank again?

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Welcome to 2012. Nothing has changed.

After I asked, in exasperation, for the paladin doing 10k DPS to gem his gear after we were done:

 

The funny thing is I didn’t see him in any healer gear. I saw him in TANK gear…but not…healing gear.  I…I don’t even.

We won’t even touch the rogue in mostly PVP blues doing 9k. Actually, yes we will. HIS crowning moment was saying, after our first tank dropped in disgust (I was their second healer): “Oh thank god he left, I’ve been trying to kick him since the first boss.”

I could marinate in the irony.

Instead I am indeed going to cry myself to sleep, despite only needing 50 more VP to get new boots.

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GnomeClone Adventures: Things That Piss Me Off

So far, being a Gnome Clone–at least, when among other Gnome Clones–has been delightful. I dinged 24 last night and now begin assembling the gear we’ve decided on. Since we’re going to be dipping our toes in the water of instances a wee bit ouchy to us for some of the gear that we need, I’ve been trying to assemble the best gear that I could along the way, but I’ve…be having trouble with that.

The only way to guarantee that you get a drop from an instance should it appear is to go in a full guild run. That’s just the way of things as far as I’m concerned, if I run it with pugs I always risk the chance that another member of the party will need it and win the roll.

That’s the thing though: I stand a chance of that happening. But I’ve experienced something…annoying.

You see, I’m re-discovering (gasp!) that people are assholes. Over fucking lowbie loot.  More than once now I’ve grouped with people who are all from the same guild/server, and each time they thought it was fine and dandy to all roll on loot I was trying for and give it to the priest/mage/whomever among them that really wanted it.

Seriously, guys? It’s a piece of fucking lowbie gear and all 4 of you are going to roll on those cloth shoulders?

Why don’t you just go fuck yourselves up the ass with a pine cone while you’re at it?

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You can GO GO GO straight to fucking hell.

I made a mistake last night. Our second 10 man folded due to a last minute cancellation, and the new priest wanted to run heroics, so I thought I would offer to go with. I needed a few more VP for another piece of  gear, anyway.  So. Another guildie who is also new to the guild was tagging along as well, which would put us at a healer and 2 DPS. Eeeenh.  Surely I can tank a Zulroic with 2 pugs and not want to shank people!

No.  Absolutely not.

I have not run the 5 man ZA and ZG much at all.  In fact, I’d say I’ve MAYBE done them each twice, and none of that was terribly recent. I tanked one of them once, but I don’t even remember which one it WAS, so my familiarity is…lacking.

And I’m not a very confident tank. I function fine as a raid tank for my guild, where I know the people and I know the fights. Throw me into an instance that I don’t know very well–where, in fact, I have old memories of tanking it when it was a raid layered over everything–and I slow down a bit, and flail a bit more.

I was, apparently, not fast enough for the pug hunter. Now, I was already head scratching at this hunter because he kept tossing down frost traps. Not the ice cube making trap of helpful CCness.  Not the fire trap of more damageness.  Not even the snake trap of LOLSNAKESness.  No, no he was throwing the frost trap down…on trash that did NOT contain scouts…for no apparent reason. Now, I got my hunter to 85 and then proceeded to not do much with her, but I don’t recall that suddenly becoming useful.

And then he started the GO GO GO nonsense.  I paused and told him, politely, that I was not a tank that liked to be rushed. He then proceeded to ANGRILY AND IN CAPS yell at me when I did not move the next boss fast enough (see: lack of familiarity with fights). I became less polite at this point, telling him to chill or to go back to enjoying long ass DPS queues because no one likes to tank for assholes. Later on in the instance, after a pull went…less than well, he told me he sucked and left.

…thanks!

I’m now back to never tanking for a heroic group containing any pugs at all.  I’ll go sit in my long ass DPS queue.

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Smote

I’ve been doing my best to level Lyrandre with something resembling haste, which has lead to me being terribly bored of smiting.

I mean sure, it’s entertaining at first–but by the time you hit 83/84, suddenly your mana bar seems to have sprung a leak, and holy fire/smite/smite/smite turns into holy fire/smite/smite/smite/smite/holy fire/smite/SW:D/fuck I misjudged, smite.

This is where you’d say Amber, isn’t Lyr dual specced?

Yes, yes she is.  Disc and nothing.

…what do you mean I should use that second spec for shadow?  Pffft. 

I’ve hit 84 and the dreaded Twilight Highlands, which means that I will be a paper armored smear on the ground several times from here on out. Woe.

My pugging experiences have been mostly good, until I got one of Those Tanks the other day. He was in partial casting gear (BARE tank, I’m guessing moonkin otherwise) and at one point–after I nearly died on the first trash pull–I made him aware that hey, untanked caster mobs tend to eat the healer.

He said that was fine. He was invincible!

No really, he said that he didn’t care if I died because he was invincible.

By the time I hit 85 the rust should be completely, brutally knocked off my healing skills…

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Melee Misadventures: The Accidental Tank

I’ve been spoiled lately by having Solt as a tank.  He’s ICC geared and I’m not, so generally the only time I end up face tanking is when I’m over enthusiastically whacking on something I shouldn’t be.  Yesterday, however, I grabbed a rather freshly dinged druid from guild and decided to run around with him.  Decked in almost all blues (I’m at least…more than halfway epics now?) he must’ve convinced the magical gear match maker that tanks in all blues were awesome.

And you know what?  They were awesome, in the sense that they weren’t lacking in skills and generally seemed to be decent folk.  They just weren’t prepared to handle me and my AoE Icy Dick Punch.

It also says something about Isis as a healer that I managed to not die.  Close! Omg, close!  But I never actually died.  \o/

When one tank was actually so shiny new he had never been to ToC5 before I coo’d a little bit (I love new tanks, I really do) and instantly burst into Helpful Mode.  I marked things!  I gave him very brief rundowns on what to expect!  I held in my urge to run forward and howling blast right away!  I carefully followed my own marks (or his target) and…still pulled with Killing Machine procs but you know, there’s only so much I can do.

But I apologized and gave him hugs and he never yelled at me.  <3

I think I actually prefer the tanks-in-blues, even if they don’t prefer me.

Sorry guys!   >.>

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