Posts Tagged Amber does not want to choke herself however because she’s not kinky in THAT way

Warpath

I’ve been on something of a warpath lately and I’m not sure why.  At least, I can’t nail down every reason neatly. 

And by “warpath” I mean “gone completely batshit in various peoples directions”.   It’s the little things that set me off right now.  Take, for example, tomorrow night’s sign ups.  Why do I have officers not signed up?  Why do I have someone in a position of import signed up on an alt despite my no-alt policy? Do you enjoy underminding my authority and making it look like I selectively enforce my rules? God you’re a silly git who hasn’t evn thought of it that way, I bet.  AMBER SMASH RAWR RAWR.

Ahem.  These are all problems that should be addressed face to face.  And they will be dragged out at the next officer meeting, I assure you.  But in the meantime I’m this tightly wound ball of Angry.  This is not a good time for me to be Angry at WoW, not when I’m weighing other real life passions and going “you know if I gave up WoW I could have more pony timez!!!!!” 

I don’t understand things like “well I don’t need anything on this character” as a reason to not attend raids.  Reasons like that just DON’T EXIST for me.  Back in Vanilla WoW, AQ40 held nothing for my paladin.  Nothing.  Not a single item, not when we started the instance and not when we cleared through C’thun trash.    But I attended every single god damned raid becuase you know what?  Other people wanted stuff from there and I enjoyed raiding with my guild.  That is the sort of mindset I have: I raid for fun, and to play with friends.  That is the standard I hold everyone else to, as well.

The more the gold gilt rubs off some players and I see what lies beneath, the unhappier I get.  I’ve gone from having a 25 man guild making some solid headway, to a 10 man guild who can’t get their second, supposedly primary, ICC10 together.  Because people would rather play their alts, no matter how badly we need their mains.   Becuase well if we’re not doing 25s they don’t care (nevermind that canceling the 10 makes it almost impossible to retain the recruits needed for 25s).  Because they don’t want join a partially ocmpleted run and miss out on frost badges on an alt.  Becuase they’re not all exactly like me in thier motivations and I apparently can’t wrap my head around that thought right now.

I think I need to step back, go hug a pony, and try to find my sanity again.  I’d take a break from raiding as well, but then what if raids get canceled becuase I’m not there and then I’m as bad as they are and OMG!!!!1!!eleventy!!!1

…excuse me I’ll be over here trying to stuff chocolate into my mouth so that I at least can’t say anything else overly stupid.

, , , , , ,

13 Comments

Rage, Real and Feigned

A lot of my infamous rage on this blog is, if not feigned, at least greatly exaggerated.  Rants are funny, I like being funny, so what could be better than funny rants?

Underneath the faux rage is, however, a very real build up of genuine anger.  I’m frustrated with some attitudes, and some people.  And some day, I’m not going to bite my tongue anymore.

It’s already starting to show.  Part of the problem is, of course, in my own attitudes.  I often tell myself, in relation to horseback riding, that the horse only misbehaves as much as I let him.  If I don’t get respect it’s because I’ve given people little to no reason to.  If people don’t do what they’re supposed to, it’s because there’s no repercussions if they don’t.

I’m standing on the edge of changing all that.  Brotherhood of Oblivion is my guild.  Not Steve’s, not Josh’s, not anyone else’s.  I do want as many people happy as possible, yes.  It is not, in any way shape or form, all about me.  But right now, it is not in my best interest or theirs that GMing BoO makes me miserable.  And you know what?  It’s making me miserable.

Not any more.

I have my pointy stick, and my sand, and I shall be drawing some lines.  If you cross them I will POKE YOU IN THE MOTHER FUCKING EYE.

/brandishes stick

/pokes self

…ow.

I want to continue having fun in raids, killing bosses while having ribald conversations about buttsechs-but I want to do it without being talked over in vent during loot.  Tell jokes about how I get lost in Gruul’s and ToC, but don’t arms tank when I explicitly tell you not to.   Be my lovably dorky crew without…you know…being douchebags.

Novel concept?

We’ll see.

, , , , , , ,

11 Comments