Guild Culture

The culture of a guild is often a key point in guild selection. If you’re a very silly person in a very serious guild (or vice versa), chances are people will be rubbed the wrong way. Being a super serious raider in a casual raiding guild will drive everyone crazy–you’ll think they’re slackers, they’ll think you’re an elitst cumbucket, and no one will be happy.

Matching your personality to that of your guild is important–so tell me, why the hell do people stay in guilds they don’t like?

I set the tone of my guild more so than some GMs, in large part because so many recruits come from the blog. If you like the blog you usually have at least an appreciation for crude humor and absolute silliness, making Stands in Bad absolute hell for anyone who can’t stand a lot of penis jokes.

We had a guildie put in an app to another guild for his main and state that he had me on ignore because I “said stupid things”.  And WORSE YET, when he’d complain?  Everyone else would chime in and say THE SAME STUPID THINGS.  Those Hyperbole and a Half quotes, man, aren’t they terrible?

He took his main out of the guild but left all his alts in, which confuses me terribly. If you hate the guild jokes so much–and they are all very much guild jokes by this point, WE ALL SAY ALL THE THINGS–why the bloody hell are you still around, shitting up the place with your poor attitude? And just to be clear I’m not talking about poor attitude meaning he just doesn’t like my jokes. I mean there’s been shit-stirring forum posts and the like during some other recent drama.

Let’s face it, in any given personality conflict situation, this sort of thing is what often ends up happening.  The person who doesn’t fit in gets upset, and if s/he doesn’t just quietly leave some day, s/he usually starts acting up. Next thing you know they are stirring up shit and you often have no idea why. 

Now I hate gkicking people, I really do, and the more tied up you are to other people, the more I hate doing it.  In a case like this it’s even weirder: what do I say as to my reasoning? You’ve been kind of a giant cockmonger lately and we know you don’t like us anyway,  so why don’t you get the fuck out?

It all comes back to the initial question for me: If people don’t like the guild, why do they stay?  I can understand if a raid spot is important to you, but if you’re not raiding, what keeps you?  If it’s for some particular group of friends, are they happy in the guild?  If they are but you’re not, and you find yourself getting increasingly bitter over stuff, don’t you stop to think that maybe you’re starting to make it less enjoyable for them?

Guild culture is critically important for me–if I don’t like the atmosphere and the people, I’m not staying, and that’s seems to be the attitude of most people. Is there a motivation I’m missing here? Are level 25 guilds that awesome still? Is there an enjoyment some people take in pissing in the pool?

I boggle, internet.

ETA: WordPress just killed me with lulz.

You used the following categories and tags: Amber doesnt know what the hell is wrong with you sometimes, Stuff and Things, dinged up GM hat, what is this I dont even, and wtf.

Add a couple more to make your post easier for others to discover. Some suggestions: personality conflict, penis jokes, poor attitude, cumbucket, and absolute hell.

You’re right, WordPress.  Cumbucket should really be a tag.

Now it is.

Search Terms of the Week

My favorite search terms of the week:

“the sexodar” (People still go there?)
“bastion of twilight penesis” (Where?)
“how to ascendant council” (how I mine for fish?)
“mine seagulls” MINE?  MINE?
“amber is a dork”  (yes, yes she is, by why was this a search term?)
“fucked up dragon on speed”
“omg every1 knoes dks cant tank lol nub”  (LOL)
“cuntcanoe” 

“what does it mean when you say “what is this i dont even””  will be explained by the ultimate winner of the week!  Here it is:

“www you jizz fuck my sister”
I’m not kidding guys:

Sometimes GMing Is Like…

Sometimes I’m reminded of my high school creative writing class.  I tend to write in a fairly straight forward fashion, even when it comes to poetry.  I had come to disdain the over-use of metaphors back when we’d read been tortured by A Farewell to Arms.  As far as I’m concerned, Hemmingway can go die.  In the rain.

She’d read the peice and then hand it back to me, full of excited commentary about my use of metaphor and symbolism.  I’d tilt my head and wonder what on earth she was smoking while she graded papers, becuase fuck if I’d intended any of the stuff she read into my work.

Sometimes, GMing gives me the same feeling.

I…wait, what did he just say?

I know I can be dirty as hell, but damn. Poor Argent Squire.

Genuine Post with Actual Content (TM) coming later today or tomorrow!

ETA: Ky would like you to know that Ky took this screen shot.  :P

Special Cookie of the Week

I’m well familar with fail pugs, especially now that my tree is in that span of levels that throws shiny new DKs at me.

I’ve zoned in, in cat form, and had them pull before I could switch specs.  Or regain mana.  Or even switch to the proper gear.  I’ve had them ignore my pleas for mana, chain pull as I try to drink, and then die and leave group in a huff.  That’s almost normal for me at this point.  I even had all of that in one group yesterday, but that’s not what I’m really posting about today…because that was not the Crowning Moment of Fail.

No, the crowning moment of fail came at the end of the instance, when I rolled on–and won–a ring.

O.o

o.O

O.O

>.<

What the fuck?!  Man, I wish I was healing you with tree punches…to the face.  It’s one thing to not know the nuances of classes I don’t play.  I don’t even know the nuances of other specs of classes I DO play.  But to insist that a resto druid doesn’t use spell power?   What?  Where have you been, sirrah? 

“lol omg your gonna pull that one”
That one what?  Have other people told you that rest druids use spell power before?  Have you stopped to consider that IT MAY BE BECUASE THEY’RE FUCKING CASTERS AND USE FUCKING SPELLPOWER?

“I got a 80.”  I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING, FUCK YEAH.

/boggle

Shield to Face II: Rumors Are True

As my priest and even as my hunter, I didn’t see much asshattery.  Stupid, yes, but not asshattery.  Of course things with my warrior, as I predicted, were…different.

Enter my warrior tank and suddenly OH GOD, people are UTTER ASSHOLES.

Ironically, you know who the worst ones are?  The healers.  Oh lord, my fellow healers, you can be fucking jerks!  I mean I’m a right snarky bitch, this is true, but I’ll never leave a group in VH right before a boss spawn.  No one had died, we weren’t going too slow (we were keeping up with portal spawns, and you just can’t do better than that) but the tree abruptly declared that we sucked and left.   As the incoming boss warning spammed my screen.

…

Wut?  Fuck you too, tree. 

My poor warrior gets in these groups where DPS pulls first, or the healer runs clear to the other side of the instance with mobs (FUCK YOU ROOM OF DOOM IN HOS), and suddenly everything is my fault.  Oh, that’s assuming people don’t just take one look at my gear and leave group at the start.  I spent one UK run flailing because the ret pally was pulling everything first and at the end the healer calls me a bad tank and leaves. 

No, no, fuck you.  I’m not the best warrior tank-of course not!  But you can’t expect perfection when the DPS won’t give me even 1 bloody second to try to use Heroic Throw to grab a caster before AoEing and dragging the mobs to hell and back.  Bwuh.  And invariably, the first person to leave…the person to talk the worst shit…was the healer.

Every single god damned time.  The DPS was usually no more than derp derp stupid, though I’d occasionally get the PULL FASTER commentary from them.

I present the face of a snarky bitch here in my blog, but I would never bail on a group like that, or say some of the shit I had said to me this weekend.  Never.  I was baffled that “my fellow healers” could be such a group of cumguzzling cockmongers.

/boggle

Lyestra the warrior is done with full random pugs.

5 Things Your Pug Healer Wants You To Know

/wave to Altadin for the tank version.
There’s also a general DPS, mage, and DK version.  I copied first though, damn it!

1. Just because I have good gear does not mean you can be stupid.
Yes, my priest is solidly decked out.  No, this doesn’t mean you can do whatever the hell you want.  I can keep a tank up through most things a 5 man can dish out, but if the DPS is standing in bad?  Uh, no.  I’m a high crit, low haste disc priest healer set up for raid tank healing.  I am not set up to deal with all 5 of you trying to die at once.  Cut it the fuck out.

2. If you insist on running too far ahead of me, running out of range/line of sight, don’t get upset when you die.  It’s your own damn fault.

3. My mana bar is not your fucking buffet table.  I don’t want to have to run in after a wipe, buff, go OOM, drink, then have to heal you lazy gits and drink again.  Half the time we don’t have a mage so I’m using purchased water, so you can purchase some fucking food.  My own guildies were doing this to me last night and I wanted to slap them.  The only person who can get away with that level of lazy is Cranky Tank.  Unless you, too, are fucking your healer, don’t do it!  And then you’d better be good, because lazyness plus lousy sex is just fucking terrible.

4. Don’t pull aggro on mobs, then feign/soul shatter/cock ice block next to your healer.  I don’t want it, either, you dipshit!

5.  Don’t stupidly pull aggro on the waves of trash on the Two Dudes fight in HoR.
‘Cause then you almost die, and I panic and heal you, so they aggro on ME and then I die and we wipe AGAIN and just what the fuck hold on a god damn second will you?  Kthx.

BONUS 6. When it says “stop DPS” then you should STOP DPS…because usually, continuing DPS means you’re killing one of your team mates.  Seriously WTF?  No.  Here’s the secret: I CAN heal through stupid some of the time, I just choose not to. Okay?  Okay.  Don’t make me lose my penance button.

The Joys of Random Pugging

Edit: Broken recount is broken.  So let’s address the rest of the fail, because that’s still perfectly valid.  :P

If you don’t know an instance, speak up.   Better you ask than have your healer screaming obscenities at you IRL.  I mean sure, I’ll wonder inwardly how the hell you don’t know NEXUS, but that’s better than calling you a douchenozzle becuase you’re making my life insanely difficult, right?  I’ve had several cases of DPS wiping groups because they didn’t know fights already (though it makes more sense in the new heroics).  Bwuh?  ASK, PEOPLE.  At least for the new heroics, I stop and ask if people know the fights first.  If you don’t answer and then wipe us with something stupid, I’m going to be pissy. 

If a boss has spell reflect, it behooves you to notice your own dots stacking up on you and STOP.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP.  If you keep taking a ton of damage, your healer is screaming JUMP at you in party, and you notice a stacking debuff?  Yeah.  Do it.  Please.

Speaking of heroic fails, my lovely tank healing, high crit, low haste build?  Yeah, it fucking sucks for heroics.  Oh the normal ones are fine, but if you get in the new ones with even a semi-derp derp group?  Yeah, kiss your sanity goodbye.  You can’t have low DPS in there.  You just can’t.  I know this because I tried.  And I couldn’t just group kick because they were guildies.  Bwuh.

How To Express An Opinion Without Being A Dick II

Dear Children Masquerading As Raiders And Even Officers In My Guild,

Can you grow the fuck up?  Look, I realize that So and So has an opinion you don’t agree with.  I realize that he has all the tact of a 16 year old in the middle of an emo fit with his parents sometimes.  But that doesn’t mean that you have carte blanche to turn around and act 5, instead. You can damn well put your epeens away and cut out the snide remarks.  It doesn’t help, and it doesn’t make you look better, nevermind right.  And when two of you are officers and in the middle of a raid, you really have no fucking excuse.

God damn, people.

Maybe said person needs to be removed from the guild, maybe he just causes too much strife because we’re not a good fit for him but, damn.  Again, not permission to act like children yourselves.   You can take your dodge/parry/stam stacking bloodshed somewhere else, and not during raid time.

RAWR.

-Angry Healer with the GM Hat