Posts Tagged Amber tanks things with her face

End of Expansion = Alt Time

Alts Appearing In This Post:
Psychiatree, 63 Resto/Feral Druid, Azgalor
Vainglory, 61 Unholy DK, Azgalor
Ambrosine, 63 Frost DK, Earthen Ring
(Why yes, I AM tired of Blood Furnance…)

I hate soloing, for the most part.  Don’t ask me how I ever got my holy paladin to 60 back in the day–I have no idea.  My hunter made it by…well, being a hunter.   I’ve been mourning the fact that Josh doesn’t want to level with me for some time, and my playing schedule can be so wildly variable that I didn’t feel fair tying anyone else’s toons to mine.

…but then I started playing with Ori.  >.>  She has a DK tank about the same level as my tree, and a priest roughly the same level as DkAmbro.  WIN.

Of course, the fact that I’m playing with Ori means that you don’t get quite so many screaming rants about my tree’s pug tanks.  But you do get tales of me being a fail!cat…

Yes, one time the LFD window popped up AND I WAS TO DPS AND NOT HEAL WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT.    While I solo Psych as cat and indeed leveled that way to begin with, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING.  I proceeded to flail my way to craptastic DPS (as much as meters matter at level 63, I was at the bottom of them.  By a lot).  I died to bombs, then died to bombs some more, then stood in a pile of ick after the floaty-boss thing and died, again.

HOW DID I BECOME THE KIND OF DPS THAT I HATE TO HEAL?!

Melee: a bad idea for Amber.

Of course the group kept going for a few instances, so I continued to fail!cat all over the place.  I am…going to have to research the 60s level cat, obviously.  Bear is so much easier for me to grasp.   SWIPE SWIPE MAUL SWIPE SWIPE MAUL SWIPE.  ROAR.   SWIPE.

If you want to flail about as DPS?  CAT IS NOT IT.  No, you need to ROLL DK.

Seriously.  This isn’t an insult to good DKs, you guys are amazing.   But it was absolutely silly to drag out my level 61 Unholy DK that I haven’t touched in months, use basically the same rotation I used for my frost DK to tank, and then proceeded to roll through the instance doing twice the DPS I did on my cat.   What? 

Maybe I just need to retire my cat spec forever.  SWIPE.

Also, being able to tank in my DK started blues on ER Ambrosine is just wrong.  Wrong, I tell you.  Oh, speaking of.

HEY BLIZZARD.  YOU’D THINK THAT BY LEVEL 62 A CLASS CAPABLE OF TANKING COULD HAVE A TAUNT?  MAYBE?  KTHX.

…and those were my adventures in alt land.

TOMORROW, FUNNY PICTURES OF IT.

(I go to Disneyworld in less than a week now and have no focus.  Bear with me!  XD)

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Tanking Misadventures

If you want to know just how much of a fail tank I really am, you need to see me on Lyestra.  There’s something about flailing around as a warrior that is great for destroying any WoW-related ego I have. 

I am-at least, by how I measure such things-an inexperienced tank.  I leveled my paladin as holy, only picking up tanking after acquiring a fairly decent set of gear when Kara was on farm.  I spent some time tanking a few heroics and Kara before I transferred to Azglor…where Steve was cruel and threw me into SSC OTing. 

I had my prot warrior to 80 in those days, but she never even set foot in a heroic.  Neglected alt was neglected.

When the pre-Wrath patch hit and fubar’d all my tanking gear (that oh so carefully juggled combination of tanky stats and spell power), I went back holy,only picking prot back up well into Wrath. 

I’m not sure that such a sporadic, mostly raid-based career as a perpetual OT was the best way to go.  I like to think that I don’t suck…on my paladin.  My warrior, however, seems to be a constant flail fest of lost aggro.   Maybe this is just because I’ve never geared up as a tank before.  My paladin always started with a collection of hoarded epics.  Lyestra has started from scratch so to speak, and may be suffering for it.

This shaky tanking career is probably why things like this are terrifying:

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg!  Performance anxiety, performance anxiety!  This is only an alt!  What am I doing!

I felt immensely clever for things like dropping consecrate in one alcove and then running to another so that I could easily pick up two of the three spawns right off the bat.  It doesn’t take much to make me happy, though.  >.> 

We cleared all the way through Saurfang…albiet barely.  Saurfang was one of those post-enrage, one paladin left alive, bubbled and flailing wildly type kills.  I’ll take it, though!  Thank you, Pity Buff!

Of course as fail of a tank as I am, I know that certain behavior is uncalled for.  Let’s say, for example, that you are invited to tank for a weekly raid run.  The group consists mostly of a particular guild.  The other tank, who is a member of that guild, tells you to tank the adds.

Do you politely say okay?

Do you politely say okay even while inwardly bitching about how add duty sucks sweaty donkey balls?

Either of those is fine.  The following, however, is not:

And we’re kicking you from the fucking raid!  Good night, Fivestar douchecanoe!  Thanks for calling us all typical fucking children, you typical small dicked twatwaffle!  Enjoy your wasted raid lock-out!  I only regret not turning on trade in time to wield my rapier wit against your fail whining.

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In Which I Ramble About Tanking Shit With My Face

A long-time WoW friend of mine, Hazard, returned to the game recently.  Again.  He’s a perpetual on-again off-again player, but I rejoice every time he comes back.  For those of you who read my WoW fiction dabblings-yes, this is THE Hazard.  \o/ 

He works graveyard shifts currently, so I don’t often get to play with him, but yesterday he declared that I would be running instances with him.   Not so much asked…declared.  Righteo then! 

Normally Tuesday is Ulduar Hardmode Night, but for various reasons I wasn’t up to that (RL is a bitch).  Instead, I blew the dust of my prot warrior on Earthen Ring, invited my friend to vent, and proceeded to do some good ol’ gear farming.  With a pocket healer I’m a little less stressed by tanking for pugs, to the point where when we accidentally queued for heroic ToC instead of normal, I didn’t notice until the second boss. 

Ha!  Ha…hahaha…oops.  Who can be stressed out when they’ve got someone doing Sean Connery impressions on vent, though?  Not me.  The tanking ring dropped for me at least-you know, the weird one, with avoidance stats but no defense?  The one I’ve looked at before and asked, who the hell would use that?  Well…apparently my warrior will use that.  Instead of her fail blue rings.   \o/ 

I did notice, offhand, that thanks to the patch changes revenge was often hitting as hard or harder than my shield slam.  I don’t think I have improved revenge currently, so my warrior may well be over due for a spec overhaul in general.  

I still struggle adjusting to warrior tanking after spending most of my time as a tankadin.  I know the basics, and some of the more advanced stuff-but I lack finesse.   Running regular Forge of Souls at my gear level is a great way of throwing yourself into the fire though, oh boy.  Why do you still run away when you have aggro, DPS?  Why?  How much range do you think my taunt HAS, anyway?  Not that much.  Get your ass back here, scrub.  How about you don’t attack that caster that’s still at range yet? Hmmmm? 

Raiding ICC 25 tonight will seem easy by comparison.  Pfft.

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Altitis Rambles

This is where I ramble about my alts because I did nothing constructive over the weekend, WoW-wise. 

Aside from the occasional heroic, Lyrandre has settled into the role of “the main only played for raids”.  Ambrosine the Tankadin has found herself geared for ICC10 despite myself.  I had comfortably retired her, but we always seem short tanks for the Ulduar Hard Mode runs…

And then there’s the 80 I’m actively working on right now-Jamethera, my semi-infamous BM hunter.  I love her to death and mourn the fact that I don’t get to do much with her, when she was my main for most of BC.   I actually passed on DKP for my priest to run ToC25 with the hunter, instead.   With Ambrosine taking up my precious 3rd raiding day, I find myself resentfully chafing at my self inflicted Tank Bitch status.  Present me with a “someone needs to do X or the raid doesn’t happen” situation and I’ll be that someone every time.   I’ll just…whine about it.  Kind of like I’m doing now.  Ah, well.  My problem.

Jamethera is thiiiiiisclose to being ICC25 ready.  If the pole arm from H HoR ever drops again and actually goes to me, I think she’ll be good to go.  The other two important upgrades-a ring and a cloak-will come shortly thereafter from rep and frost badges.  I might even dual spec and take on MM, if it gives me a chance to beat our resident cocky hunter into the ground.  What I’ll do with her then, I don’t know, but it’s a goal none the less…

The ele/resto shaman is still level 47, as Josh hasn’t felt inclined to play his rogue.  I did spend some qualitiy time on my CatBearTree, though!  One of my guildies, Penitant, was kind enough run me through a few instances, so she went from 54 to 57 in short order.  Half a level to go and I’ll be in Outlands healing groups of 4 DKs.  Maybe I will…not be bored?

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No, I have no idea how to play my class, please tell me more.

Josh wants to work on his DK’s gear, so I volunteered to tank for him-as a DPS, nothing beats having a tank buddy for insta-queues.  My paladin could still use some badge gear, as I do use her for Ulduar hard mode tanking.  

As always, I am…quite vocal while tanking.  Josh is treated to a slew of commentary, usually along the lines of “You know, I can hold the aggro on that caster over there just fine IF YOU DON’T FUCKING TOUCH IT YOU FUCKING MORON!” and “I guess the concept of waiting until I position the mobs is entirely foreign to you.”

In one particular Halls of Lightning run, I was pulling conservatively.  Not only do I tend to this out of habit, but the group had already proven that they couldn’t keep their trigger happy mitts off single mobs I was dragging.  

This does, however, often leave me faced with mana problems-I’m usually running around sans a piece of armor and using Seal of Wisdom.   This was the case in HoL, but things had gone mostly smoothly.  I say mostly because we did have some cases of Oh Look The Melee Died, but that was mostly the rogue not realizing that running out of The Bad was generally better for his health.

I would also like to note that the only time I had issues with aggro was when Josh ended up in Frost Presence.  Yet for some reason, as we’re clearing the trash to Loken, I get a whisper from the warlock.

“Did you know that Seal of Vengeance does more threat?”

I halted.  All sorts of surprise and sarcasm welled forth (“No shit?”), but I managed a polite, “I know, but I’m overgeared to the point where I have mana problems in old heroics, so  use Wisdom.”  And unable to help myself, I pointed out Vengeance is not the seal to use on trash, regardless.  Mobs don’t live long enough for the stacks to be really useful.

…so they oh so helpfully told me I should chain pull.

“Ah,” I said, “but I’ve learned I can’t always trust the DPS to behave in random heroics, making chain pulling difficult.”  I continue to boggle at how much some people struggle with the concept of letting the tank position mobs.

I got a non-committal response with a : \ face.

…then I whined to Josh that I was being told how to tank, and he initiated a vote-kick for the person.  /facepalm

I’m just wondering why the hell someone would feel compelled to try to tell me how to play when I’m not having any fucking problems.  The rogue died when all the slag mobs exploded?  Not due to threat on my part.  The DK and the rogue died on the lightning crackly boss because they can’t get out of the fucking way?  Not my problem.  I even generally held all the trash, so I’m not sure why this stranger on the internet felt compelled to tell me I was using the “wrong” seal when anyone who actually plays a fucking pally tank would know exactly why I was using Wisdom.

How about you don’t make an already timid tank second guess herself further by keeping your fucking mouth shut?

Thank you.

Oh by the way, did you know that you shouldn’t use fear in an instance?  It’s really annoying.

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Why There Are No Tanks

Do you know why there are no tanks?  Do you know why the wait on my lowbie DPS toons is 30+ minutes for a group? 

BECAUSE YOU DRIVE THEM FUCKING NUTS THAT’S WHY.

Hey you, elemental shaman!  Yeah you with the mother fucking chain lightning of O HAI I R SHAMAN TANK.  CUT IT THE FUCK OUT.  Especially on mobs I HAVEN’T EVEN TOUCHED YET.  You have BoA gear, that means you have an 80.  This means that you should know that pulling mobs the tank hasn’t touched yet is FUCKING STUPID and just a wee bit rude.  You know my AoE taunt, as a bear?  It takes RAGE.  I generate less rage when I’m chasing you and your new friends around then when I pull them and get hit, okay?  What the fuck. 

Don’t “lol it’s just a low level instance” at me.  What are you going to do when your poor tank hits 80?  Oh that’s right, berate them for not knowing how to tank, BECAUSE YOU HAD TO BE TARDBUCKETS LEVELING UP AND DIDN’T EVEN LET THEM TRY TO DO IT RIGHT.

I’m going tree, assholes.  Fuck you.

…why yes, this has been a healer blog with a lot of tank rage going on lately.  That’s part of the problem of altitis, of course.  Also, healing is inherently different from tanking.  In healing, stupid DPS can make my life harder, to be sure…but stupid DPS can make tanking well nigh impossible.   Haet.  Haet so muuuuuch.

So yes, the drood will get transferred, dual specced into tree, and handed BoA gear.  Then I will heal by WAVING MY ARMS YAY.   Then you’ll hear more about being a tree and a shamananan…and I’ll try to squeeze out some more disc specific stuff for ICC.   Why, we go into ICC25 man tonight!  zomg!

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A Tale of Two Tanks: Ambrosine


I decided to carry out my little experiment.  I logged on to Ambrosine, which resulted in a small explosion of dust.  Her gear is mediocre-tanking ToC10 is really the pinnacle of her ability right now.  Despite that, it is still all epics, gemmed and enchanted and showing that I’ve managed to flail my way through several raids somehow.

I did three heroics, including Halls of Stone, which I loathe.  Things did not go flawlessly-I tried to skip a couple of mob packs to save time, which resulted in people pulling them, naturally.  The healer died at least once.  I lost control of an add here and there, even as a lolpaladin.  I was often mana starved, until I won the Winter Hat in Nexus and put it on.

Yes, folks, I ran around in a gods be damned Winter Hat (visible-see above!) and no one said a damned word.  In fact, everyone was quite nice.  This tells me a few things:
1) Even mediocre epics make a difference in people’s attitudes, or
2) I got damned lucky with the handful of heroics that I did despite every single one over the weekend being full of fail, or
3) The Ruin battlegroup is magically less fail than the Vindication battlegroup, or
4) Winter hats are awesome

Obviously this is an experiment I’ll have to continue, but the initial results are…interesting.

On another note, I was no more OOM with a disc priest healer than I was with the others.  I sure can see the geared paladin plight in the older heroics though-damn, even with Divine Plea up, I was perpetually running on fumes!  I was drinking before some pulls!  My suggestion is that you either downgrade some gear, or wear something silly (like my hat) while still remaining over def cap.  Don’t ask the disc priest to not bubble you, you’ll make me cry (and I’ll swear that it didn’t fucking matter).

ETA: If you want advice better then “wear a silly hat” go here, my fellow mana starved tankadins!

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