Posts Tagged Amber wants to choke a bitch
Putting together a SiB raid is like one of those grid logic puzzles. Our two 10 mans have shrunk into one and a half, maybe, on a good day–which for summer is not surpising or even all that terrible.
The…colorful personalities I have collected can cause issues, however.
- Player A will not raid with Player B.
- Player C would rather not raid with A. B isn’t their favorite person either, but whatever.
- Player B has no idea what the fuck.
- Player D has a whole list of people they’d rather not raid with if given a chance but isn’t that strongly opinioned on the matter. They’ll just bitch. A lot. In whispers.
- Player E doesn’t want to raid with A if they can help it, either.
- Player F would rather not raid with A…or G, H, or I.
- Player G likes everyone that most of the others tend to not like. (I’m glad someone does.)
…and that incompatible alphabet soup is why we did not have enough to raid last week. Or rather, we technically would have had enough, if only everyone would Fucking Play Nice Together, but we can’t have nice things and it is what it is. I love my guild as a whole, but individually? Well…sometimes a GM just wants to choke a bitch. But can’t, because she’s GM. QQ.
And that is why I’ve been a cranky GM lately, because god damn it, children, I just want to fucking raid! If I can’t have ALL of my favorite people at least SOME of my favorite people is better than NONE (I am totally player D, if you’re trying to guess). Mumble grumble.
I’ve been on something of a warpath lately and I’m not sure why. At least, I can’t nail down every reason neatly.
And by “warpath” I mean “gone completely batshit in various peoples directions”. It’s the little things that set me off right now. Take, for example, tomorrow night’s sign ups. Why do I have officers not signed up? Why do I have someone in a position of import signed up on an alt despite my no-alt policy? Do you enjoy underminding my authority and making it look like I selectively enforce my rules? God you’re a silly git who hasn’t evn thought of it that way, I bet. AMBER SMASH RAWR RAWR.
Ahem. These are all problems that should be addressed face to face. And they will be dragged out at the next officer meeting, I assure you. But in the meantime I’m this tightly wound ball of Angry. This is not a good time for me to be Angry at WoW, not when I’m weighing other real life passions and going “you know if I gave up WoW I could have more pony timez!!!!!”
I don’t understand things like “well I don’t need anything on this character” as a reason to not attend raids. Reasons like that just DON’T EXIST for me. Back in Vanilla WoW, AQ40 held nothing for my paladin. Nothing. Not a single item, not when we started the instance and not when we cleared through C’thun trash. But I attended every single god damned raid becuase you know what? Other people wanted stuff from there and I enjoyed raiding with my guild. That is the sort of mindset I have: I raid for fun, and to play with friends. That is the standard I hold everyone else to, as well.
The more the gold gilt rubs off some players and I see what lies beneath, the unhappier I get. I’ve gone from having a 25 man guild making some solid headway, to a 10 man guild who can’t get their second, supposedly primary, ICC10 together. Because people would rather play their alts, no matter how badly we need their mains. Becuase well if we’re not doing 25s they don’t care (nevermind that canceling the 10 makes it almost impossible to retain the recruits needed for 25s). Because they don’t want join a partially ocmpleted run and miss out on frost badges on an alt. Becuase they’re not all exactly like me in thier motivations and I apparently can’t wrap my head around that thought right now.
I think I need to step back, go hug a pony, and try to find my sanity again. I’d take a break from raiding as well, but then what if raids get canceled becuase I’m not there and then I’m as bad as they are and OMG!!!!1!!eleventy!!!1
…excuse me I’ll be over here trying to stuff chocolate into my mouth so that I at least can’t say anything else overly stupid.
Sometimes I’m reminded of my high school creative writing class. I tend to write in a fairly straight forward fashion, even when it comes to poetry. I had come to disdain the over-use of metaphors back when we’d read been tortured by A Farewell to Arms. As far as I’m concerned, Hemmingway can go die. In the rain.
She’d read the peice and then hand it back to me, full of excited commentary about my use of metaphor and symbolism. I’d tilt my head and wonder what on earth she was smoking while she graded papers, becuase fuck if I’d intended any of the stuff she read into my work.
Sometimes, GMing gives me the same feeling.
I wanted to be working on my story today, or on an April Fool’s post, but you know what? I spent the entire morning fixing FUCKING DKP! And making official posts so people will stop asking me about OMG THE SARONITE IN THE BANK CAN I HAS?!?!
YES YOU CAN HAS.
YOU CAN HAS THE GUILD, IN FACT.
I have a standing offer in another guild where I am BM hunter my heart out!
To hell with you and your Twitters and IMs and emails and OMG AMBER FIX NAO stuff. >:|
A lot of my infamous rage on this blog is, if not feigned, at least greatly exaggerated. Rants are funny, I like being funny, so what could be better than funny rants?
Underneath the faux rage is, however, a very real build up of genuine anger. I’m frustrated with some attitudes, and some people. And some day, I’m not going to bite my tongue anymore.
It’s already starting to show. Part of the problem is, of course, in my own attitudes. I often tell myself, in relation to horseback riding, that the horse only misbehaves as much as I let him. If I don’t get respect it’s because I’ve given people little to no reason to. If people don’t do what they’re supposed to, it’s because there’s no repercussions if they don’t.
I’m standing on the edge of changing all that. Brotherhood of Oblivion is my guild. Not Steve’s, not Josh’s, not anyone else’s. I do want as many people happy as possible, yes. It is not, in any way shape or form, all about me. But right now, it is not in my best interest or theirs that GMing BoO makes me miserable. And you know what? It’s making me miserable.
Not any more.
I have my pointy stick, and my sand, and I shall be drawing some lines. If you cross them I will POKE YOU IN THE MOTHER FUCKING EYE.
I want to continue having fun in raids, killing bosses while having ribald conversations about buttsechs-but I want to do it without being talked over in vent during loot. Tell jokes about how I get lost in Gruul’s and ToC, but don’t arms tank when I explicitly tell you not to. Be my lovably dorky crew without…you know…being douchebags.
1. Just because I have good gear does not mean you can be stupid.
Yes, my priest is solidly decked out. No, this doesn’t mean you can do whatever the hell you want. I can keep a tank up through most things a 5 man can dish out, but if the DPS is standing in bad? Uh, no. I’m a high crit, low haste disc priest healer set up for raid tank healing. I am not set up to deal with all 5 of you trying to die at once. Cut it the fuck out.
2. If you insist on running too far ahead of me, running out of range/line of sight, don’t get upset when you die. It’s your own damn fault.
3. My mana bar is not your fucking buffet table. I don’t want to have to run in after a wipe, buff, go OOM, drink, then have to heal you lazy gits and drink again. Half the time we don’t have a mage so I’m using purchased water, so you can purchase some fucking food. My own guildies were doing this to me last night and I wanted to slap them. The only person who can get away with that level of lazy is Cranky Tank. Unless you, too, are fucking your healer, don’t do it! And then you’d better be good, because lazyness plus lousy sex is just fucking terrible.
4. Don’t pull aggro on mobs, then feign/soul shatter/cock ice block next to your healer. I don’t want it, either, you dipshit!
5. Don’t stupidly pull aggro on the waves of trash on the Two Dudes fight in HoR.
‘Cause then you almost die, and I panic and heal you, so they aggro on ME and then I die and we wipe AGAIN and just what the fuck hold on a god damn second will you? Kthx.
BONUS 6. When it says “stop DPS” then you should STOP DPS…because usually, continuing DPS means you’re killing one of your team mates. Seriously WTF? No. Here’s the secret: I CAN heal through stupid some of the time, I just choose not to. Okay? Okay. Don’t make me lose my penance button.