Posts Tagged Angry Healer's Club

Dear DPS in Full PVP Gear

ETA: If you can go into a heroic in pvp gear and do 15k DPS, this post is not about you.  Also, there’s a line between “I am a PVPer stepping into PvE content” and “I’m a PvEr who bought these blues off the AH when I dinged 85 and didn’t bother to reforge, gem, or enchant anything, so that I could have random people carry me through heroics.” It is the latter who have sparked my ire.

Dear DPS in Full PVP Gear,

Look, I realize that using PVP gear to cheese the ilevel requirements is a quick and easy way into the new heroics. Really, I do–see my own pvp shoulders?  But please understand one thing: the heroics themselves will not be quick and easy while you’re limping along doing less than half of the DPS of everyone else. 9k is not an acceptable amount of DPS.

You can’t count on some uber DPS trying to cap VP coming along and carrying your sorry, lazy ass. Murphy’s Law states that you will be tossed in a group with all or one of the following:

  • other DPS doing the exact same thing and sucking just as hard
  • someone on an alt still figuring out WTF they are doing
  • some fucking idiot who thinks that wearing half healing and/or tanking gear to DPS is somehow fucking hunky dory
  • someone with 2 FPS
  • someone with perfectly good gear who is just That Guy who is terrible no matter what

And then things won’t die fast at all and your healer will run out of mana healing these super long fights while the 2 fps guy stands in bad and OH GOD THE PAIN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Newsflash: the normal heroics are STILL IN THE GAME.

GO FUCKING RUN THEM YOU LAZY ASS COCKKNOB.

Get some other heroic loot and some JP stuff and then maybe, just maybe, you can fucking SUPPLEMENT your shit with pvp gear to cheese the last bit of ilevel, okay?

BUT YOU REALLY CAN’T WEAR JUST PVP GEAR AND NOT MAKE ME WANT TO RIP OUR YOUR ANUS VIA YOUR THROAT.

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Welcome to 2012. Nothing has changed.

After I asked, in exasperation, for the paladin doing 10k DPS to gem his gear after we were done:

 

The funny thing is I didn’t see him in any healer gear. I saw him in TANK gear…but not…healing gear.  I…I don’t even.

We won’t even touch the rogue in mostly PVP blues doing 9k. Actually, yes we will. HIS crowning moment was saying, after our first tank dropped in disgust (I was their second healer): “Oh thank god he left, I’ve been trying to kick him since the first boss.”

I could marinate in the irony.

Instead I am indeed going to cry myself to sleep, despite only needing 50 more VP to get new boots.

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Coming Soon to an LFR Near You

Coming soon to a LFR near you: that mother fucking disc priest in PVP shoulders, a +hit chest (albeit reforged), and a fucking blue weapon.

Fuck yeah, baby. Lyrandre’s back in town. You know you missed me. I sure as hell missed you.

Don’t look at me like that, internet. I promise I will gem and enchant ALL THE THINGS before I hit LFR.  Even if they’re PVP and +hit things. Except maybe the weapon. I’m just going to have to replace that piece of shit.

The healing reflexes were pretty rusty when I started this project, but I think I’ve got them mostly working now. I haven’t wiped a 5 man in awhile–just that one time, when the tank and I ran in opposite directions by accident. I’m excited to get Lyrandre back into a raid situation–even just LFR–just to see how it flows.

When all else fails, retreat to what you know best.

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Dear Ramparts, I Hate You

I have two alts that I am working on currently–Jamethera, my beloved  BM hunter, and Icestone, my ele/resto shaman.  Once I get tired of DPS queues I tend to flop over to Icestone for the soothing ritual of filling green bars.

Only it’s not soothing–not when I load into Ramps. I don’t know what it is about this instance, but tanks suddenly want to pull ALL THE THINGS.  And I would just like to say, Mr. 58-60 tank, that you are not a raid geared tank in a Wrath heroic. Y0u are a fucking lowbie tank. If you’re a DK you don’t even have your taunt or D&D yet half the time.  When I’m running around screaming because I have HEALING AGGRO ON SHIT, then you should maybe NOT PULL THE ENTIRE GODS BE DAMNED ROOM.

EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN TIME.

This…never seems to happen in the other instances.  I hope, since Ice melted her way to level 63 yesterday, that my time in the Ramparts of Hell is done. I pity anyone who doesn’t heal those without dripping Heirlooms.

But for everyone else…

…how about pulling one pack at a time, eh?

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More on the Leveling Tank

I’m going to quote liberally from Tam’s post here.  I think Tam said it all better than I can to begin with, but I’m going to chime in anyway.  Because I have nothing else good to post.  :P

I’m not putting on my Dumbing It Down For the Casuals hat, or getting elitist about the virtues of things being hard, but overgearing everything – as one currently does what with heirlooms and the ability shift associated with tacking 20 more levels onto the end of a game – does make you incredibly complacent. …The sad thing is, I suspect I could get quite a long way without really knowing all that much about tanking.

The other day I remember thinking a tank was rather squishy, inspected him at the end of the run and realised he was nowhere near def-cap and wearing just about the worst itemized set of ungemmed blues and purples I had ever seen. I know skill is not about gear but wearing the right gear, even if it’s not the best gear, is some kind of indicator.

…Heirlooms compensate a bit at this level but I have no idea from what dank hole of ineptitude the average pre-80 Northrend tank has crawled. And it’s all such banal failure as well – stupid things like massively over-pulling, not controlling the mobs at all, getting knocked back into other mobs, pulling when I’m on a mana break. I resent these wipes because they’re completely unnecessary.

The difference is, I suppose, that nobody is geared enough to compensate, so we’re expected to play like we know what the hell we’re doing. And I can’t work out if it’s laziness, a genuine failure to adapt from running heroics at 80 in ICC gear, or the fact that nobody has really had to learn how to do their bloody job because they could previously rely on rolling over stuff with heirlooms and AoE!lol.

That’s it, in a nutshell.  That is why I am not healing pugs on my druid right now.  I step into a pug and am effectively slapped in the face with failure more often than not, from tanks who have LOLed through Outlands.  That in an of itself is not a terrible thing–every one of us gets a rude awakening now and again and have to tighten up your skills (see: me, tanking heroics on my warrior).  I love helping people.  If you’re clueless but nice, I’ll do everything I can to make your life easier.  But so many of these fresh into Northrend tanks are outwardly hostile for reasons that escape me. 

 This game is an MMO.  That means there’s OTHER PEOPLE playing with you.  That means that maybe, maybe, you should extend some small amount of effort in playing with the OTHER PEOPLE so that you don’t make the entire experience SUCK.  Why the fuck should you need a GUIDE to tell you that you should not pull while your healer is drinking?  Or that if you die when you pull two groups, you should only pull one?  Common sense, anybody?  Consideration?  Situational awareness?  Bueller?

How about not doing a job you don’t have adequete gear for?  I leveled as a tank, on multiple toons.  One of them even treated it as her secondary spec  (see: druid).  There is tanking gear out there.  There are greens of the Champion.  There is, in other words, no real excuse for being a paladin and tanking with SP leather.  AND pulling while I’m drinking.  AND standing in the bosses Casting of Supreme Ouch.  I’ve tanked UK when undergeared, it was no fucking joke when Wrath came out and is probably no fucking joke even now. 

Go suck it up in the DPS queue until you have the gear, okay?  Skill comes with practice, but it’s much easier to learn when you’re not at high risk of dying.  Tanking is gear dependent.  Please stop trying to escape this fact at the cost of others.  Or in the very least…say something in the start and maybe, just maybe, you’ll be surprised.

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