Posts Tagged Arch Nemesis Arrens appears
Hi, folks. Arrens here from that other site that hasn’t been updated regularly in far too long. Blame work. And work filters. And whatever else pops into my Sudofed-addled brain this morning.
Anyways, I asked my arch-nemesis if I could provide a guest post here. See, I’ve been leveling a priest for the better part of this year. Theodious is my dwarven disc priest, the dispenser of bubbles and all-around cad. (Seriously. I play on an RP server. If you happen upon Feathermoon-Alliance and engage in an in-character discussion with Theo AND you’re playing a female toon, run. Fast.)
Theo isn’t my first attempt at a priest. He’s actually my 6th. (Amber in: it’s a disease; Lyr was 5th or 6th) The previous 5 never made it to level 20 before finding the delete button. They were tedious and boring and GODDAMMIT WHY WASN’T THE LFD SYSTEM OUT A LOT EARLIER?!
Ahem. Sorry. But Theo sat at level 12 for months. Seriously. For nearly 6 months, he gathered dust as I couldn’t be arsed to go out and smite my way through gnolls and spiders and the odd troll/yeti hiding in caves. But something happened along the way. I got the itch to level him, something I never could have foreseen. And I did. With great gusto. Full use of heirlooms and the LFD system had me tossing bubbles out left and right. I learned about spamming Flash Heal and have been laughed at time and again for my overuse of Renew as a non-holy priest. But you know what? It worked and I kept my groups mostly alive. (Except mages, who I still let die because my inner warlock chortles.) (FYI: you are supposed to let ROGUES and WARLOCKS die, not mages. Mages give you noms. Arrens is doin’ it wrong.)
Then along comes patch 4.0.1 and everything gets flip-turned upside down. New talents, new spells, and SWEET BABY ZOMBIE JESUS MY MANA POOL JUST TRIPLED! So I have that going for me, which is nice.
Yesterday, Theo hit level 70. He’s been through Utgarde Keep (So. Tired. Of that instance.) about a dozen times now and I’m thankful to largely be away from the new DK tanks who don’t know what threat generation is. (Seriously, guys. Use Blood Presence now if you’re tanking. This is non-negotiable and will cause me to drop group if you pull the first group in anything else.) (If only it was just the DK tanks. Oh my god. Something about UK brings out the fail in tanks.)
“But Arrens,” I can hear you say. “What’s the fucking point of this post aside from telling us that you’ve done what everyone and their goddamn brother has done in leveling another toon?” To which I respond, Relax, skippy. I’m getting to that.
See, Amber’s blog is titled “For The Bubbles.” Yet, when’s the last time she talked anything about bubbles? She hasn’t in a long, long time. No, she’s almost all hunter, all the time. (Do you know how many disc priests you can have in a raid?! THE ANSWER IS NOT THREE.) Which is great and all, but the snark’s gone. (Gone my ass. Wit’s as sharp as ever, baby.) She’s lost her bluster. (LOL) The fight between my arch-nemesis and I isn’t so much a fight anymore as it is a roflstomp on my part. (LOLOLOLOL. Delusions! So cute!) So as a means to get back to our roots, I’m going to provide her with some snark on this here blog and give the leveling tips from a Disc Priest’s perspective in the post-4.0 universe. Some of these are obvious no-brainers. They’ve been around since the dawn of WoW. But others? Well…some folks need could use a smack to the back of the head when they queue in the LFD. This is for them.
1.) I need mana. No, really. I need mana. Tanks, if I sit down for a drink because I’ve only got 1/4 of my mana left after you opted to pull the entire bloody instance, please let me fill it up before going back for more. I know you’re sadistic sonsabitches taking whacks to the head for the greater good, but I can’t heal you unless you see blue under my green health bar. If you continue to run all willy-nilly and we wipe due to your impatience, I will leave. (Sidenote: Priests need Life Tap. Serious.)
2.) Power Word: Barrier is a pretty cool mechanic. It’s like a giant bubble for the whole group. You stand under it, you don’t get hurt and any heals I cast on you are increased by 3%. So melee? STOP RUNNING OUT FROM UNDER IT, YOU FUCKTARDS! I have two level 80 rogues. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many inappropriate uses of Sprint as when I cast PW: Barrier. You’re all giving my second favorite class a bad name. I hate you. (I’d say that it’s because we’ve trained them SO WELL to not stand in things, but anyone who heals knows that no, they haven’t absorbed that lesson, either. So really they have…no excuse. Except not understanding the AWESOME that is PW: Barrier.)
3.) Prot Pallys, I don’t know what’s happened to you since 4.0. You used to be my favorite class to heal, what with your awesome AOE threat generation and your, what I can only guess was, fantastic dodging and parrying abilities. But that’s all changed. Every pally I’ve healed in the past week has been taking some pretty incredible damage. Stop that. Please. You make me go into an anaphylactic shock all the damn time now.
4.) Warrior tanks, you have replaced Prot Pallys as my favorite tanks to heal. Keep it up, guys and gals.
5.) This one isn’t so much a tip or even an observation I’ve seen happening frequently as it is just (what I hope was) a singular event that occurred yesterday in UK. I’m in a group with one of those aforementioned prot pallys that couldn’t keep threat on more than two mobs at a time. We had a rogue, a fury warrior, a frost mage and myself filling out the group. All the DPS were pretty decently geared for upper-60’s, low-70’s toons and were constantly pulling threat. The frost mage, on several occasions, kept pulling entire groups off the pally and would proceed to run. Not to the tank. Not to me, the healer. No, he would start running backwards as fast as his gnomish feet would carry him. Well out of LOS of me and way to far for the pally to lay down a consecrate. When he died for the sixth time in that run, I was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face. Nothing makes me giddier with glee than seeing a mage die. Make it a gnome? Well hell. It’s like my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one. (Isn’t it DELIGHTFUL when they do that? Their repair bills are like a stupidity tax.)
So there ya have it, folks. My tales of leveling as Disc in the post-4.0 apocalypse. Any tales to share of your own? Toss ’em in the comments.
Today is a very special day, my friends…for today is the birthday of our ARCH NEMESIS, Arrens.
Arrens, for those of you who don’t know, is a dirty dirty ROGUE/WARLOCK who things that, for some strange reason, he deserves heals. Naturally, we know that all rogues and warlocks are meant to be smears upon the ground, but he refuses to learn The Way Of Things.
This means that for his birthday, he gets the punishment of…
Feel free to drop by his humble blog and wish him a happy, sparkly birthday!
1. Just because I have good gear does not mean you can be stupid.
Yes, my priest is solidly decked out. No, this doesn’t mean you can do whatever the hell you want. I can keep a tank up through most things a 5 man can dish out, but if the DPS is standing in bad? Uh, no. I’m a high crit, low haste disc priest healer set up for raid tank healing. I am not set up to deal with all 5 of you trying to die at once. Cut it the fuck out.
2. If you insist on running too far ahead of me, running out of range/line of sight, don’t get upset when you die. It’s your own damn fault.
3. My mana bar is not your fucking buffet table. I don’t want to have to run in after a wipe, buff, go OOM, drink, then have to heal you lazy gits and drink again. Half the time we don’t have a mage so I’m using purchased water, so you can purchase some fucking food. My own guildies were doing this to me last night and I wanted to slap them. The only person who can get away with that level of lazy is Cranky Tank. Unless you, too, are fucking your healer, don’t do it! And then you’d better be good, because lazyness plus lousy sex is just fucking terrible.
4. Don’t pull aggro on mobs, then feign/soul shatter/cock ice block next to your healer. I don’t want it, either, you dipshit!
5. Don’t stupidly pull aggro on the waves of trash on the Two Dudes fight in HoR.
‘Cause then you almost die, and I panic and heal you, so they aggro on ME and then I die and we wipe AGAIN and just what the fuck hold on a god damn second will you? Kthx.
BONUS 6. When it says “stop DPS” then you should STOP DPS…because usually, continuing DPS means you’re killing one of your team mates. Seriously WTF? No. Here’s the secret: I CAN heal through stupid some of the time, I just choose not to. Okay? Okay. Don’t make me lose my penance button.
I meant to have the Lady Deathwhisper strat up today, but I wanted to watch a video at home to refresh my memory (the text, it does little for me). Then…I went Christmas shopping. So uh, you get an open letter instead. Enjoy my sillyness.
Why must you disappoint me so? Here I have my boyfriend lovingly mocking me for blogging and “pretending you’re important on the internet”, and I haven’t even run into any of my readers yet. Arrens-Arrens! My nemesis!-has had people recognize him. Clearly I am the bigger, better, more famous blogger, so where the hell are all of you? WHY AREN’T YOU SAYING HELLO TO ME IN MY RANDOM PUGS?
“But Amber,” you’re probably saying, “You’re a healer. If you’re healing the heroic, you’re not terribly likely to run into any of your healer readers…”
BUT YOU’RE NOT ALL HEALERS. I know this! And I have a hunter! I’VE BEEN PUGGING ON MY HUNTER AND I AM THE ONLY JAMETHERA IN ALL OF WOW.
I expect to see you, readers! And you’d damn well better say hi!
Dear Children Masquerading As Raiders And Even Officers In My Guild,
Can you grow the fuck up? Look, I realize that So and So has an opinion you don’t agree with. I realize that he has all the tact of a 16 year old in the middle of an emo fit with his parents sometimes. But that doesn’t mean that you have carte blanche to turn around and act 5, instead. You can damn well put your epeens away and cut out the snide remarks. It doesn’t help, and it doesn’t make you look better, nevermind right. And when two of you are officers and in the middle of a raid, you really have no fucking excuse.
God damn, people.
Maybe said person needs to be removed from the guild, maybe he just causes too much strife because we’re not a good fit for him but, damn. Again, not permission to act like children yourselves. You can take your dodge/parry/stam stacking bloodshed somewhere else, and not during raid time.
-Angry Healer with the GM Hat
All I’m doing…is talking about plans to meet up with some of my guild mates IRL…and then all of a sudden…
Kyrilean: i think you’re trying to enslave us all!
me: how so?!
Kyrilean: one gm to rule them all
one gm to find them
one gm to bring them all
and in the darkness bind them
me: …wtf is wrong with you
Kyrilean: there seriously is not enough time
Kyrilean: and this is gonna end up in a post, isn’t it?…
Sounds about right.
Amber = Succubus.