No foolin’ here.

Too often, my Apil Fool jokes end up coming true in one way or another–the year I /gquit BoO and joined Viva La Muffin, the year I switched my Twitter over to ILikeRawrRedPet…

I think I shall abstain from a joke this year out of fear.  I mean, I’d hate to really go horde or something later.

November looms…

…and with it, NaNoWriMo, and a month long silence on this blog.

At least, from me.  Unless I fail, of course, then it’s a whole ‘nother ballgame…but anyway!

Guest posts!  I want them!  Topic is largely irrelevent as I’ve covered everything from priests to pallys to hunters to DKS to raids to RP here by now.  Flowcharts are a bonus. 

My e-mail is over there in the side bar…send away!

Friday Flowchart + Bonus Funny!

If I was smart I’d save the other funny for next week, but I’m too amused by it now to wait.

Today’s flowchart is by Kiss My Alas.  It’s true…so very, very, true.

All cloth gear goes to boomkins, duh.

Click to embiggen, it didn't fit! >.>

Bucket o’ Tags

I love my tags.  Everyone loves my tags.  I have so many tags I DON’T REMEMBER HALF OF THEM.

So let’s have a look see, shall we?  If they’re next to each other and bolded, then they’re part of a “set”.

don’t stand in the fire
…you stood in the fire didn’t you
abusing my power over the internets
adventures in Looking for Douchebags
Amber is a bich
Amber wants to choke a bitch
Amber does not want to choke herself however because she’s not kinky in THAT way
Amber doesn’t know what the hell is wrong with you sometimes
Amber goes pew pew
Amber tanks things with her face
Amber has no stinkin fail angels
Amber is a dork
Amber is a sad exasperated panda
Amber is excited
Amber is in a strange frame of mind again
Amber is so obviously a girl
Amber is surprised that people are mean on teh interwebs
Amber loves MS paint
…and suddenly every healer becomes a shaman or a priest          (thanks to Cata changes)
Angry Healer’s Club
anything you say can and will be used against you in a blog post
Arch Nemesis Arrens appears
as I was say-oooh shiny…
back in vanilla WoW where purples weren’t handed to us on silver platters
I walked uphill barefoot both ways in the snow
bandwagon
bitch moan whine
Blizzard talks a lot and does little
brought to you by sarcasm!
damn it all to hell DJ  
I did not get lost in TOC damn it
dear god do I love tags (yes I do, obviously)
demanding readers are demanding
derp derp
DIAF
DO NOT WANT
eat a fucking muffin
Fail Angel
gear unicorns 
guild rules
Harryotter has died  (really needs to become Mork has died)
healer guilt
herding cats
heres a tag
heroics are srs bzns
how to not suck
I blame Deathwing
I don’t know what this was about either
I hate you all just so you know
I just stand here and fill green bars
I make improtant decisions based on dice rolls
I r teh fail
internet group hug
Kotakh is a prick  (I don’t use this nearly enough)
Kyr is a tag whore
Kyr is an enabler
Kyr is more of a dork than I am
lazy Amber is lazy
let’s make up new tags
levitate is for SS  (a habit I need to get back into)
looking for douchebags
Macharious is a meaniehead (he so is)
Macharious is a soulless dictator
Macharious makes Amber a sad panda
MOAR MIND SEAR
my DPS let me show you it
Oasic has a tag (it is popular to demand one…)
obvious advice is obvious
oh children
oh look a filler post
om nom nom haste (when the FUCK did I use THAT tag?)
OMG CAPS
one ticket for the fail boat
open letters
pew pew lazerz
PIXIE STIX
Pixie Stix tagged this post too…wait what?  (this happens when I gtalk babble at people)
pointed post is pointed
pugs make me cry inside
PW Barrier is a lie
rage like Rilgon
satirical piece is satirical
see Amber can be nice
somebody tagged me for shit
SS or it didn’t happen
the complaint box is over there above the fire
the disc priests don’t love you
things Ori says
things we say in healer channel
this is a blog not a vampire
wtf sparkles
wtb more sparklies
vampires shouldn’t sparkle either Meyer you whore
this is not a flowchart
this post needs more tags
Trial of the One Room Raid
war dec
what is this I don’t even
where is mai bukkit?!
you are entitled to your opinion but clearly your opinion is less right than mine
zomg bubbles!

Hard to Please

For some reason Steve really didn't like this tabard.

A popular phrase in my guild is “eat a fucking muffin”.  I can’t remember exactly where this came from-I think that one of our tanks was telling one of our DPSers to “chill out and eat a fucking muffin,” and we just latched on to the latter half. 

While it amused me to put a muffin on our guild tabard, some others were not as tickled.  They weren’t even amused by the tabard change just before that one, which had the same colors but retained our previous hooded face icon.  Something about purple can get certain knickers in a twist, which is sad becuase my dear Ori loves her some purple.

So, I went and changed it in its entirety.  There are, contrary to popular beliefs, “real” reasons why I felt a need to change the tabard…but I will discuss only one of them here.

Blue is clearly a superior color for a tabard.

Anyway.

Other changes abound for the Brotherhood!  Our ranks have recently swelled, and there is much amusing flailing about by all parties.  No one can keep names straight, and the poor people who joined our guild right before this sudden influx probably suffer the worst.  They hadn’t learned all of BoO’s core yet, and suddenly here are 10 more people and their alts and oh my god what the fuck the alts, the alts, the aaaaallllts!

I feel that “the recruits”-collectively a group that transferred over from Doomhammer, once known as Elysium-are mixing in well.  Last time BoO omnomnom’d a significant chunk of a guild, it went…poorly.  They isolated themselves, refused to run anything but farm content with us, and eventually left en masse over a loot dispute.

I’m not the least bit worried about history repeating itself.  When heroic groups form, they blend both groups, and their names are already liberally sprinkled throughout our raid sign ups.  Considering that they all transferred to play with us I was only mildly concerned…and it’s good to relax on that front.

They’re crazy and pervy and we get along quite well so far!  Of course, they have a few things to learn, still-the guild rule of Let Hunt Die hasn’t fully settled in yet.  Some of them still think he gets heals.  Pfft.

There have, of course, been…kerfluffles.  One guildmate has already gquit over a misunderstanding.  We scarcely blinked our eyes-seeing Sidearm remove his eleventy billion alts from the guild is something most of us have seen before.   If he wants to leave over a minor incident without discussing things with the officers…again…then so be it.

Poor Xindi is far more upset over it than we are.  This has led to some new guild rules:

1) Xindi is not allowed to apologize more than 3 times for the same thing.
2) Xindi is not allowed to feel bad for things that are not her fault.

She will learn these rules in time, too.

Holy Paladining the Lower Spire

Disclaimer: this is just how I do it, and I’m usually the only holy paladin in the group. If you have more than one, Beacon assignments and whatnot will probably be a bit different.

Lord Marrowgar

This is the OHMYGOD SO MUCH DAMAGE, WHYYY fight, and one where we holy paladins really shine. The damage comes fast and heavy, so you have to be on the ball about topping it off. What happens if you take a break to rest your poor Holy Light finger for a few GCDs (or worse, if you’re repeatedly boner spiked)? DEATH, that’s what.

Yeah, you did that. Anyway, you will probably be assigned to the MT for this fight, and you will want to put your sweet, delicious Bacon Beacon on the OT, who will be taking quite a lot of damage as well. Especially when he stands in the Coldflame. Stick yourself in with the caster dps group, who will probably all be standing within Marrowgar’s hitbox, because that makes things easier for everyone, especially when it comes to Bone Spikes, because if you have to count on dps to come find you in order to break you out, you’re probably gonna die.

Possibly the hardest part of this fight is the cat herding fest that is Bone Storm, because everyone is going to scatter, and they’re not all going to go in the same direction. Ideally you should stick on top of your tanks so that you can quickly get back to healing them ASAP when this part is over, but if you’re like me you probably just run to a corner while going OMG QUIT FOLLOWING MEEEE. We keep raid markers on the tanks so that we can quickly find them and stack back up. If you run a 51/20/0 build, Bone Storm might be a good time to pop your bubble and Divine Sacrifice, if you happen to notice a lot of people waltzing through Coldflame or trying to give Marrowgar hugs. Just … don’t sacrifice yourself without bubbling, unless you’re prepared to stand still and heal all that incoming damage to yourself, which will be hard. Bone Storm is also the best time to pop your Divine Plea, but because chain casting Holy Light is very draining, you’re probably going to have to just use it when you can.

Assuming that everything goes well, Marrowgar will keel over, you will cry because spell plate is a myth, and then move on! \o/

Lady Deathwhisper

During Phase 1, I find it more useful to have your Beaconhax on your assigned tank so that you can help out the raid healers, because this is a fight where people will inevitably stand in things and take stray damage. Do remember to keep a close eye on your tank’s health though, because he will sometimes be hit mercilessly by empowered mobs, and you’ll need to give him extra attention. For the 25man version, you will want to stand roughly in the middle, so that you can help out the other tank healers when their targets are taking extra buttloads of damage. Curse of Torpor will be a big pain in your side for this fight, because it will lock you out of one of your spells (probably FoL or HL, depending on what you were casting when it hit you) for 15 seconds. It’s annoying, but shouldn’t be too hard on you.

In Phase 2, you’ll only need to focus on one tank at a time, but they will be trading off. I like to put Beacon on whichever tank currently has aggro, but if I’m having mana issues (LOL DOES NOT COMPUTE), I’ll just keep it on the MT. It’s nice to help out your raid healers with the Frostbolt damage when you can, and if it looks like everyone’s getting low, there’s always the bubblesac option.

Gunship Battle

This is the easiest Lower Spire fight, which means that BoO will always wipe on it once. Chances are that your raid leader will want you to stand on the ledge between the canons, toss Beacon on the tank who’s going over to the enemy ship (… we call them the Away Team), and keep the home and away tanks both healed. If you whine about being bored and getting cheated out of using your rocket pack, which I may or may not do, you might get to be the Away Team healer, YAY. In which case your major obstacle will be hearing when to go over and back on top of one of your guildies playing “I’m On A Boat” over vent. /facepalm

The Away Team tank will take a lot of damage when he goes over, so be sure that you keep an eye on him. Otherwise, this fight is mostly about keeping your eyes on Grid/Vudho/what have you and peppering around FoL where needed. If you get a lot of aggro from the Axethrowers, BUBBLE then yell at your tanks.

Deathbringer Saurfang

Another fight where everyone will be pleased to have your Beaconhax. Once again, you will probably be on the tanks. I heal the first tank to take Saurfang and put Beacon on the second. This means that when Tank 1 has him, I need to focus primarily on healing him, and when Tank 2 has him, I can help out the raid healers by keeping people with Boiling Blood topped off and healing anyone who gets hit by the blood beasts’ melee. As usual, if you don’t have mana issues and would like to, you can simply switch Beacon from tank to tank.

When Saurfang hits 100 Blood Power, that’s when you go FUUUU and things ramp up. You need to put your Beacon on the person who gets Mark of the Falling Champion, and then you need to heal the tank with the aggro for all you’re worth, to keep the Marked person up. If Blood Power management is Not So Good, you get to play YAY SOPHIE’S CHOICE and decide whether to stick with the original Marked player, or switch Beacon to the new one. If it’s a healer or a tank who gets the Mark, they also get the Beacon. If it’s between two dps players, I’d recommend keeping up a player who kites the blood beasts. If none of those are factors, just slap it on the person you like the most. That’s right, everyone be sure to lavish love on your paladin healers – it may save your life! I take bribes in the form of unicorns, rainbows, and hugs.

If you have a group that can successfully manage Blood Power and you don’t break out in a cold sweat from healing stress, then YAY TIEM FOR PLAGUEWORKS. Just uhm, maybe don’t forget to bubble if you’re the first one to zone into the next wing, because the mist wants to give you not so nice cuddlings.

Random words on a screen

I’m a little sleepy and creatively pulled in a couple of directions right now, so forgive a rambling post today.  I’ll probably resume quasi-useful posts here shortly, as I still have a Saurfang strat to get up…yes I am behind the times, what else is new?

Last night the raid was a true BoO raid-we one shot everything except the easiest fight in the first wing (Gunship), then proceeded to wipe on Stinky and Precious.

Yes…yes, it was a BoO raid, and I loved it.  We’ll throw ourselves at Festergust some more tonight.

I probably need to re-download Rawr and spend some shadowy time in front of a training dummy, to see if I can’t “fix” my shadow self.  For fights like Festergut, I really need to do something.  In the meantime I might cave and dual spec the hunter, so that she’s available to do the most DPS possible in a pinch.  

Of course stubborn pride really has me not wanting to make my hunter anything but BM.  I’ve been a BM hunter since early ’05, before the first hunter talent reset.  I was BM when it sucked, I was BM when it was awesome, and I’m BM now that’s back to being the red headed bastard child spec. I’m proud of what I can do with it (over 5k).  And yes, I enjoy the occasional envious remark from a fellow hunter because they, too, wish they could raid BM. 

They could, of course.  They won’t, for one reason or another, but they could.  Me, I’ll take my place lower on the meters in order to enjoy the simple pleasure that is a devilsuar named Omnomnom.   I mean come on now, the sight of a devilsaur chowing down on a snowbold that is in turn clinging to someone’s head is hilarious.  BM is just a silly fun spec.   Alas, I might cave and go Surv or something if Festergust is really obnoxious.  I could always go dual BM later, right?

…right.

What the fuck was I talking about?

…can I take a nap now?

…also, it’s REALLY HARD to not bubble a pally tank in a heroic.  REALLY HARD.  You just need a winter hat, Steve.  Winter hats fix EVERYTHING.