Posts Tagged dinged up GM hat

The Art of Compromise

To compromise is to make a deal where someone gives up part of, or all of its demand.

In human relationships “compromise” is frequently said to be an agreement that no party is happy with, this is because the parties involved often feel that they either gave away too much or that they received too little.
-Ye Olde Wikipedia

Since this is really not a secret anymore and rumors suck, I’m going to go ahead and talk about it.  Perhaps having it out in the open will help-perhaps not.  If nothing else perhaps someone else can learn from the situation.  I’ll try to portray it in as neutral as a tone as I can.  In no way shape or form do I intend to villainize anyone involved.

GMing is hard work.  Many people eventually give up and move on-either disbanding the guild or handing it to a successor.  If I recall our history correctly, Steve isn’t even the Brotherhood of Oblivion’s first GM.

Anyway, sometime back in…November, I believe, Steve gave in to the stress of GMing and handed the guild to me.  I am not the best GM.  I try, but I have my weaknesses just like anyone else.  I hold things together through as much charm as skill.   But only a few months later Steve started to…regret his decision.  He’d had time to relax, let go, and step back and see things.  The guild meant a lot to him, and being a mere officer wasn’t satisfying the itch.

Enter Instant Sucky Situation.

You’ve handed someone-a RL friend, even-your guild.  They seem to somewhat relish leading it and aren’t doing a bad job but you want it back.  You know it.  They know it.   You know you should probably let it go but damn it, the guild means a lot to you.

What would you do?  As either party?

If it was anyone else asking for the guild back, I’d tell them to go to hell.  But it’s Steve.  Even though we sometimes don’t see eye to eye, he’s our friend and lives across the damn street.   The guild does mean a lot to him.

If he wants it back and I don’t want to step down, the “obvious” solution is co-GMing.  I’ve co-GMed before, and gotten backstabbed.  I’ve watched previous guilds be co-GM’d by two and even three people and those were…not rousing successes.  I’ll openly admit that I’m dubious about doing any such thing even with Steve.

But in the end…I care about people.  Often I care far more about other people than myself, to my own detriment.  I don’t want Steve unhappy.  Even though this compromise, this feeling out leadership together and figuring out if we can do it without wanting to shank each other, is not my favored solution…oh, well.

Compromise: where you get some of what you want, but not all of it.

Will it work in guild leadership?  Er…we’ll see.

ETA: For now, I retain the sole GM title.  This is more of a…behind the scenes co-GMship at the moment.  If I think it is in the best interests of the guild to not go through with this, then we won’t.  It’s just an…interesting situation all around.

Now I am going to use…a few more ellipses…just to annoy…Pixelated Executioner.

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Random Musings on Cliques

I was reading Righteous Orbs today when I stumbled across this quote:

A clique is one of those irregular verbs: “we have a good relationship” “you are a clique” and often people deal with something that, for whatever reason, they don’t like by labelling it a clique.

Cliques.  It’s an interesting topic in my guild, where you have a few perceived groups: the bloggers, the RL friends, the Elysium crew, the “old school” gang…I might be missing one or two for all I know. 

There are roughly 100 accounts in my guild-not that many people, of course, but still a good many.  It’s not terribly unusual for someone to ask me who So and So is and for me to not have an answer-I’m not the only one with invite powers.  Person A invites their friend, their fiance, and their cousin in and by then I’m just as confused as anyone else.  If it wasn’t for guild notes I don’t know what I’d do.

A clique is an exclusive group of people who share interests, views, purposes, patterns of behavior, or ethnicity. Membership in a clique is often, but not necessarily, exclusive, and qualifications for membership may be social or essential to the nature of the clique. The term ‘clique’ may be used pejoratively.

Pejoratives are words or grammatical forms which denote a negative affect; that is, they express the contempt or distaste of the speaker.

Thank you, Wikipedia.  The point is that within any large group of people, smaller groups are going to form.   The bloggers all talk amongst each other, yes-often quite a bit, outside of game.  We share an interest beyond that of World of Warcraft itself, and the WoW blogosphere is actually a rather close-knit one.  People who don’t understand this, or who don’t “get” blogging, probably look at us sideways.  

Let’s face it, though-between chats, twitter, comments, blog posts…it’s entirely possible that I talk to some of these people more in a given day then I may talk to my boyfriend.  You know, the man I live with?  Yeah.   Not that Josh and I don’t talk, but man, I spew out a lot of bored chatter at work!  Does this mean I’ll never socialize outside of them?  LOL, no.  Have you ever tried to make a raid of all healers plus a rogue and a hunter?  Yeah I didn’t think so. 

I think a lot of the muttering about cliques is based on fear.  You see a group of people that’s all nice and cozy together, and you either feel left out, or feel that you might be left out.  Sometimes this is genuinely the case-with a previous guild merger, the group never did integrate with us.  They didn’t talk much on our vent or go on our raids.  Eventually they left en masse.  The occasional true, negative clique tends to reflect badly on the other natural groups that form.

Ask yourself this: is one group really closed to new comers, or are people just afraid to try?  Did you really get left out of the raid because you’re not one of the in crowd, or did they already have five other hunters?  Do they all sit in their own vent channel…because you never try to join them?  You could very well all be sitting there accusing the others of being cliquish when really you’re all just too chicken shit to socialize with new people.

I am not worried about “cliques” in BoO.  Rather, I am pleased to see an active guild housing a wide variety of people, and all of their wide variety of interests.

Now excuse me while I leave the vent channel full of MinMax Debaters to go hang with the Bloggers, for the sake of not developing a headache.

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Bury the Corpse

This post brought to you by idle musings and background crap you’re not aware of.  And muffin tabards.

My first raiding guild was on Earthen Ring, and was called Unified.  I loved Unified.

They took me in shortly after I dinged 60, mostly because my fiance was already in the guild.  I’d like to think that they took me on because I was an amazing holy pally but, quite frankly, at that point in time I was not.

Anyway.

Unified was, in its heyday, a top 10 guild…I think.  I never honestly paid any attention.  I know that several of us had full t2, that we had BWL down to 2 hour clears, AQ 40 was clear to C’thun, and we were played around in Naxx.  Good? Yes.  Top guild on the server?  Hardly.

What was interesting, though, was to watch people leave…come back…leave…come BACK…always stating some version of “I missed you guys” upon their return.

The community that formed was strong, lasting-in many cases-years after the guild’s death.  I can still log onto Earthen Ring, poke my head in the /unitram channel, and say hello to any number of folks.

Unified broke up in BC as many former 40 man guilds did, torn apart by different sized raids, the sudden discovery that so and so sucked when not backed up by 5 others of their class, and the fact that our GM was-quite frankly-losing it.

Nostalgia was strong enough that after we wandered to our seperate guilds and found them lacking, some of us started raiding together again.  I ran Kara once a week with my hunter in my raiding guild, and then again on my paladin with this…former-guildie not-a-pug.

Eventually someone contacted our former GM, who actually handed over the old guild to us, and Unified was reborn.

It was not the same.  It never could be the same.  We had some of the same people, yes, but…there was no reviving Unified as it had once been.  Eventually one of the GMs-Josh-and one of the officers-myself-transferred off server to play with friends.  These friends-Brotherhood of Oblivion.

Corpses are corpses.  They need to be buried, not restlessly prodded with sticks.  They make good fertilizer, though-good things can come from what’s left, if you let them.

But you cannot ever expect them to be the same.

The Brotherhood is not what it once was.  I joined at the end of BC…and yes, it is different now.   Wrath changed it.  People leaving changed it.  The mere passage of time changed it.  My method of recruiting?  Changed it.  My blogging?  Changed it.   Now that I’m GM it certainly is-and shall become-something different yet again.

The Brotherhood of Oblivion is dead.
The Brotherhood of Oblivion lives.

This upsets some people, of course.  They look back at what once was and pine.

Cut it the fuck out.  It gets you nowhere.

Why don’t you come check out the flowers I’m growing here, instead?  The ride to wherever we’re going should be fun-especially as I have no idea how the fuck to navigate.   Quick, give Ky the map!

Oh, and eat a fucking muffin.

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Hard to Please

For some reason Steve really didn't like this tabard.

A popular phrase in my guild is “eat a fucking muffin”.  I can’t remember exactly where this came from-I think that one of our tanks was telling one of our DPSers to “chill out and eat a fucking muffin,” and we just latched on to the latter half. 

While it amused me to put a muffin on our guild tabard, some others were not as tickled.  They weren’t even amused by the tabard change just before that one, which had the same colors but retained our previous hooded face icon.  Something about purple can get certain knickers in a twist, which is sad becuase my dear Ori loves her some purple.

So, I went and changed it in its entirety.  There are, contrary to popular beliefs, “real” reasons why I felt a need to change the tabard…but I will discuss only one of them here.

Blue is clearly a superior color for a tabard.

Anyway.

Other changes abound for the Brotherhood!  Our ranks have recently swelled, and there is much amusing flailing about by all parties.  No one can keep names straight, and the poor people who joined our guild right before this sudden influx probably suffer the worst.  They hadn’t learned all of BoO’s core yet, and suddenly here are 10 more people and their alts and oh my god what the fuck the alts, the alts, the aaaaallllts!

I feel that “the recruits”-collectively a group that transferred over from Doomhammer, once known as Elysium-are mixing in well.  Last time BoO omnomnom’d a significant chunk of a guild, it went…poorly.  They isolated themselves, refused to run anything but farm content with us, and eventually left en masse over a loot dispute.

I’m not the least bit worried about history repeating itself.  When heroic groups form, they blend both groups, and their names are already liberally sprinkled throughout our raid sign ups.  Considering that they all transferred to play with us I was only mildly concerned…and it’s good to relax on that front.

They’re crazy and pervy and we get along quite well so far!  Of course, they have a few things to learn, still-the guild rule of Let Hunt Die hasn’t fully settled in yet.  Some of them still think he gets heals.  Pfft.

There have, of course, been…kerfluffles.  One guildmate has already gquit over a misunderstanding.  We scarcely blinked our eyes-seeing Sidearm remove his eleventy billion alts from the guild is something most of us have seen before.   If he wants to leave over a minor incident without discussing things with the officers…again…then so be it.

Poor Xindi is far more upset over it than we are.  This has led to some new guild rules:

1) Xindi is not allowed to apologize more than 3 times for the same thing.
2) Xindi is not allowed to feel bad for things that are not her fault.

She will learn these rules in time, too.

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Shameless Recruitment Post

BOO NEEDS MOAR PEOPLES.

And we acutally don’t have a problem with too many healers/tanks anymore!   OMG!  Why, why, WE COULD EVEN USE SOME HOLY PRIESTS.  Well maybe not some.  Just one.  Myss is awesome but alas, we only get him once a week.  :(  And Oasic is fail and not playing right now.  Yes, Oasic, I SAID FAIL.

Ahem.

So!  I want a tank.  And like, a healer.  And some DPS still-as long as you’re not a hunter or a DK, ’cause we have several of those!  Shamans are awesome because we have ONE.  Warlock?  Also very awesome (where did ours gooooo?).

We currently raid Wednesdays/Thursdays, 7-10 PM, CST.  We’re on the Azgalor (US) PvP server.  Despite it being PvP it’s not….that bad, numbers are pretty balanced.  Just get your own fucking lazy ass to the instance, you summon whore.

http://www.booguild.net

\o/

This post brought to you by n officer’s meeting and a lack of real content.  Unless you want screaming about pug healer fail in ICC…which, admittedly, you probably do.  Later dearies.  Later.

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The Telephone Game

Does anyone remember the telephone game, or operator, or whatever the hell it was called?  One person whispered something in the ear of the person next to them, and so on, until by the time it got to the end it sounded nothing like the original?

That very much happens.   Person A says something to person B, who says something to person C (for Cranky Tank), who says something to person D (for…nothing, but it’s me) because well, he lives with person D and tells them everything sooner or later.  Person D flails and person A goes wait, what? 

…I was going somewhere with that, but I was interrupted by work and now have no idea.  Hmm.  Well, raiding with family is interesting, to be sure.  If you tell Josh something, it’ll get back to me sooner or later becuase…well, he’s my boyfriend, we just babble everything at each other.  We’ll keep things to ourselves if you tell us to, but if you don’t?  Pffft!  Now I’ve added my little sister to the mix, which is fun in and of itself.  She’s sweet, but definitely a loud, sometimes obnoxious teenager.  Oh, and a bit of a NubKnight still, to be sure.  She signs up for raids and shows up on time though-this puts her steps ahead of some people already!

The problem is that because she can be loud and obnoxious, she can be…well, annoying, and people won’t complain to me about it.  No, they complain to someone else.  By the time it filters back to me, though (which…it will!) it’s gone from “Damn, she talks too much sometimes” to “So-and-so hates your sister.” 

/facepalm

And people wonder why I’d rather just have them tell me this shit directly…

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How To Express An Opinion Without Being A Dick II

Dear Children Masquerading As Raiders And Even Officers In My Guild,

Can you grow the fuck up?  Look, I realize that So and So has an opinion you don’t agree with.  I realize that he has all the tact of a 16 year old in the middle of an emo fit with his parents sometimes.  But that doesn’t mean that you have carte blanche to turn around and act 5, instead. You can damn well put your epeens away and cut out the snide remarks.  It doesn’t help, and it doesn’t make you look better, nevermind right.  And when two of you are officers and in the middle of a raid, you really have no fucking excuse.

God damn, people.

Maybe said person needs to be removed from the guild, maybe he just causes too much strife because we’re not a good fit for him but, damn.  Again, not permission to act like children yourselves.   You can take your dodge/parry/stam stacking bloodshed somewhere else, and not during raid time.

RAWR.

-Angry Healer with the GM Hat

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