Advice For Venturing Into LFR

Disclaimer: I’ve had a whopping one whole LFR run.

I wasn’t really planning on hitting the LFR. The LFR was scary, after all. I just wanted to do a couple of heroics for VP, but then a bunch of guildies wanted to go, sooo…sure, why not?

Bits of Advice:
-Don’t go with absolutely no clue of what to do, unless you’re confident in your ability to figure it out on the fly.  Watch at least the 10 man videos first (even though it’s 25 man), just realize that a lot of aspects of the fight will sort of fly out the window. I say this becuase I went into it cold, and when I asked what each boss did, I was told to figure it out. When I tried to read the dungeon journal, they pulled the boss. You might get someone who explains, but don’t count on it. On the other hand it’s not TOO hard to figure it out on the fly if you’ve been raiding awhile (at least, for the first 4)–I only died once, I swear! Just follow the other nubs when it seems like they are running away/towards something. Baaaaa.

-Don’t even bother to hope for loot. No really, don’t even bother. There’s 24 other people derping along in there with you, and you’re better off saving your sanity and assuming you’ll get nothing. Becuase you probably won’t.

-While you’re at it, don’t even look at damage meters, especially after you’ve lost loot. The person who won it will be terrible. That’s just how it works.

Fact: I Do Still Play WoW!

I am, in fact, still around–however between having a Warmachine army to paint and my wedding being now less than a month away, you can probably expect me to be quiet for awhile longer.

Weddings suck, man. If I’d known so few of my friends would make it out here I think I would have eloped after all.  What’s the difference between having your future mother-in-law bitch about you eloping behind your back vs having her talk shit about your wedding plans behind your back?

Why yes the process so far as been delightful, how can you tell?

I had a Twitter follower spot (and then come say hi to!) me at Wizard World Comic Con on Saturday, which was apparently a rather bemusing experience for the Cranky Tank.

“Who was that?”

“Uh, someone from the internet.”

“…someone from the internet?”

“Someone from the internet, yes.”

Josh thinks Twitter is pretty moronic, so I left it at that.  I have to say that Comic Con isn’t really my cup of tea–I’m more of a Ren Faire girl, I suppose. My Green Linen Shirt also confused Peter S. Beagle. Anyone have a good way to explain that shirt? I sure as hell don’t.

I now have a signed copy of The Last Unicorn, though.  That’s pretty awesome.

In other, actually WoW related news, my shaman is level 69 and braving Northrend. I ran a dungeon with Alas on Lyrandre as well, bringing the bubble priest to close to 82. She may yet make a return thanks to our sudden dearth of priests.  What? Where’d you all go guys?

Last but not least, Stands in Bad in recruiting! At this rate we can work with just about anything, but heals are definitely a priority. We’d prefer a priest (again, where the fuck did they go?) but we’re not exactly being picky.  Just be geared to do t12 and don’t suck. The name is a joke, not a goal!

An Argument for DBM

Sounds silly that we’d need an argument FOR DBM, right?  I mean, who DOESN’T use DBM, or their favorite equivilant?

Yeah, about that. Anyone who has ever tried to require an addon knows that someone, somewhere, will bitch about it. Back in BoO I tried to make everyone use DBM, but it was really hard when my co-GM couldn’t be arsed to use it himself.

“You don’t notice,” he’d brag.  “I know the fights.”

“Steve,” I said wearily, or more often angrily, “I notice every single god damn time you ask how long it is until something happens and I have to look at my DBM timers and tell you.”

He may have gotten away with that in Wrath, but such an attitude is a total no-go in Cata.  Fights are chaotic with MANY things to pay attention to, and stay out of–or in!  Add in trying to keep on top of your rotation and procs an you’re going to miss some things.

No, you will.  You WILL.  You absofuckingloutely WILL, stop arguing with me–oh here, look.  IT’S SCIENCE.

“Well,” some of the problem children may splutter, “SOME people notice.  SOME people can split their attention better.  I’m one of them.” 

Really?  Every single fight?  You’re never tired or distracted or have a cat walk in front of you or otherwise need of GIANT BLUE TEXT?

I call bullshit.

Go install the god damned mod.

(Thankfully I don’t have this problem with anyone in SiB, but I figured that someone, somewhere…)

Oh, I Remember This

Stands in Bad has recently added Nef to our list of Bosses We Are Chewing On (Cho’gall being the other).  The truth of the matter is that he’s going to take some time to down, and I’m okay with that.  We probably need more gear as well as practice–I’m not the only one still half in blues, thanks to the loot gods raining cloth and mail upon our heads.

Farming the earlier parts of the instance for gear to kill the end bosses?  Gee, this feels familiar!  It brings to mind walking uphill, both ways, in the snow…

It might not take that long, really–we’re already down to clearing farm content in one night, which is why we’re adding the previously ignored Throne to our list.  Sure, it’s only two bosses, but it might add some variety to our second day wipe nights.  We can focus on certain bosses based on our raid comp for the night, perhaps  (WTB 1x mage for Nef). 

I’m sure everyone is noting the stark contrast between Cata and Wrath raiding.  I for one enjoy it–the bar doesn’t seem to be set TOO high, we’re making steady progress while boss kills are still enough of a struggle that they mean something. 

Of course, ask me what I think after several more hours spent wiping on Nef because I apparently can’t kite.

BoT: Ascendant Council

First off, the trash before this boss is complete ass.  Expect to wipe on it as much as you wipe on the god damned boss. 

Secondly, there’s a lot of shit going down in this fight (o hai, WELCOME TO CATA) so I’ll break it down as best I can without confusing myself.  I’ve also only had a few attempts on this fight so feel free to correct anything you see wrong in the comments! 

Important note: the elemental monstrosity of the final phase appears with the combined health of all 4 bosses, which is why it’s important that each pair of bosses be DPS’d as close to equally as you can manage.  The phase changes at 25%. 

Phase 1:

The bosses in this phase are Feludious and Ignacious.  From here on out they shall be called Water Boss and Fire Boss.

Tanks
If you’re the water boss tank, interrupting hydrolance is key.   You will also wish to tank him away from everyone else because Glaciate damages everyone around him and sucks balls.

If you’re the fire boss tank, be prepared to help the DPS interrupt rising flames after his fiery shield is down.  Don’t position him too far away from the fire he’ll periodically leave on the ground because the melee will need quick access to it.  Speaking of said fire, every so often the boss will charge off, but he’ll charge right back, trailing the fire behind him.

Healers
Heart of Ice and Burning Blood will be two debuffs put on the raid.  While you do want to cleanse these you don’t want to do it immediately, as a few ticks can provide a DPS buff.

Hydrolance should be renamed Hydropunchtotheface.

Melee
You will be on the fire boss.  This phase is cake for you compared to the next one.  If you get Waterlogged, briefly step into the fire.  Try to not cross in front of the boss while getting to said fire because he also does a frontal cone of fire and, well, your healers like their mana.

After the fire shield (which needs to be DPS’d down ASAP) you need to interrupt the hurty flamey thing he’s channeling, Rising Flames. 

If you get the Burning Blood debuff and a ranged you like is near enough for a hug,  go ahead and g ive them one because it will increase their DPS on the water boss.  I wouldn’t run halfway across the room for it, though.

Ranged
You will mostly be on the water boss, though the two bosses should be kept as near in health as possible.*  One of you should probably be designated to switch if necessary.

If you get the Heart of Ice debuff, run and give the melee a hug.  Yes, that’s right–if you get that DEBUFF, run and give your guildies a hug.  It’ll increase their DPS on the fire boss.

If you get waterlogged, dart through the fire that the other boss is leaving on the ground.  If you don’t the water boss will freeze the blood in your veins and well, that just doesn’t sound very pleasant.  Your healers will probably let you die for your fail.

Phase 2:

A few words about gravity wells and cyclones, as these apply to everyone:
The air boss summons a cyclone you’re going to want to find it.  Yes, run TO the cyclone, those things you avoided on every other boss encounter ever.  Yeah.  It’ll give you a levitate buff that you need to not get gibbed by earthquake.

After earthquake, you need to run to a gravity well so that you get lose the levitatey thing so that you don’t get thundershocked to death. 

Each of these much-needed buffs will probably be all the way across the room from where you are.  Or on top of each other.

Also:  if you get lightning rod, get away from everyone else.

Tanks
The earth boss tank should try to keep an eye out for Harden Skin to interrupt it.  Your melee will be doing this as well, but with everyone running around willy-nilly, it’s best to keep all eyes on it.

The air boss tank should…tank the air boss.  He teleports around the room just to piss you off.

Healers
There’s a lot of damage being tossed around.  You should heal that.
(Do you have people in your guild who state the obvious like that?  We do.  Do you want to slap them?  I do.) 

The only thing of note that I recall for this phase is the Lightning Blast that is thrown at the air tank after the boss teleports.

Melee
Find your way to the earth boss.  Don’t forget to pull out your razors as you go, because this phase blows (see here). 

Try to interrupt Hardened Skin.  You know, during all that time you’re not running around looking for a cyclone or gravity well. 

Every so often the boss will cast Eruption, shoving spikes through the floor around him.  Try to not be standing there.

Ranged
You will mostly be on the air boss.  He teleports around like a dick.  If the earth boss tank/melee miss a Hardened Skin interrupt, you should help those scrubs DPS through it.

Phase 3:

Tanks
The one of you that can do the best gimped DPS while in tank gear should try to do that, because this is a 1 tank, DPS race phase.  The tank-tank should drag the boss out of puddles (think blue defile).

Healers
Quote from Kotakh, SiB Resto Druid: “omfg all that damage incoming wtf heal heal heal heal oom /dies fuck that noise”

So, in essence: don’t stand in puddles, heal the fuck out of people lifted off the ground in Gravity Crush, and flail madly at your healing buttons.  Remember, let your least favorite people die first!

Melee
Don’t stand in puddles.  Don’t stand on things that look like flares.  Blow any self-heal or damage reduction abilities that you have.  DPS the fuck out of shit.   Use any major DPS abilities (heroism, army, etc) in this phase as well.  DPS the fuck out of shit HARDER.  BEFORE YOU ALL DIE.  If you get lifted up in gravity crush, I hope you bribed your healers well.

Ranged
Spread out to minimize damage from lightning.  For the rest, you can actually see the melee section above.

A Melee DPS Visual Guide To Council

Stands in Bad is recruiting!

So here I was moving this 10 man guild from LK into Cata, and I sort of collected people along the way, right?  I mean, I was lazy as hell and didn’t do a recruitment post or anything but I had some people poke me and go CAN HAS GUILD and I was like aww, sure and before I knew it I accidentally the whole thing.  Which is to say I accidentally ended up with almost two whole 10 mans and while the occasional benching is cool and all, the rotational nightmare that I made for my RL is sort of absurd. 

So!  Stands in Bad is recruiting to fill out said second raid group so that we can have twice the amount of pervy, silly fun. 

But Amber, aren’t the new people just going to end up on the B team and suck at everything?

As much as I would love to shove Kotakh in a separate group so that I never had to listen to his smart assery during a raid, I’ve been stuck in the B raid before and I won’t condemn even Kotakh to that.  For one, having a B team means we have to have that many sucky people, and we don’t.  For another, I have more than 9 other friends in the guild as does everyone else, so you can bet there’ll be some flow between the two groups.  I’m not worried about it impairing our progression either.  We’re only in our third week of raiding and have 5 bosses down already–despite the heavy rotation (seriously, at least half the raid was new).

Well, what do you need?

In short: Anything, really.  The way my hypotehtical roster is set up right now, we need 1 ranged, but if we get a tank, then one of my tanks can go back to shadow priesting, etc.  1 ranged (or tank) will bring us to a full 20 people (I told you, accidentally the whole thing). 

Of course having exactly 20 members is a sure way to fail, so we’re actually recruiting one or two extra–another healer, another ranged, etc. We have no mages or boomkins, so ranged of those flavors would be most awesome.   This will mean we’ll still have a rotation, of course, but it’ll be a “sit every now and again” type thing versus the “raid every other week” situation that some of us have going on right now.  I’m not going to over recruit again I swear, but I don’t want to have 1 raid group not go sometimes due to numbers. 

Regardless of what you do, if you’re really interested, go ahead and apply.  Hybrids of course would be awesome (tank/DPS, heals/DPS, heals/tank) for flexability, but I’m not going to pass up a player that looks like a good fit because you only fill one role.

When do you raid?
W/Th, 7-10 pm CST.  The raids will run simultaniously.

Do you have an awesome tabard?

Fuck yes we do.

So, uh, how do I do this?

To speak to me about joining Stands in Bad, just send me a long rambling e-mail about it.  I hate forms and the like.  As long as you include a link to your armory and don’t use “u” instead of you, I promise I won’t bite.

Amber, your crew sounds awesome, but I hate PvP servers.  Like, I hate them so much, no matter how awesome you are, I won’t go.

That’s okay.  I mean I’ll sit here and be SAD, but I can understand.  As it so happens, I can also offer you an alternative!  My friend Pixie Stix is recruiting as well, and he’s on a PvE server.  He used to be in our crew and I miss him bunches, but if I can’t raid with him anymore I can at least inflict some of my readers on him, right?  Just be sure to call him Pixie Stix.  Their recruitment post is as follows:

<Hilarity Ensues>
Aggramar-US, Alliance, 10-man

Contents: Reasonably Sane Guildmaster Who Does Weird Voices (no, he doesn’t
hear them, he just impersonates them), Mature and Patient Guildmembers, Maximum
Fun, Lack of Guild Drama, the All-Important Tabard & Bank Tabs, Ventrilo (to hear
aforementioned voices), Raid Slot (caution: may contain epics), Hilarity & Hijinks
(warning: injury and repair bills may result).

Suggested Use: Hilarity Ensues is currently being made available to Hunters, Rogues,
Moonkins (taste like chicken!), Enhancement Shamans, Holy and Disc Priests, and
Restoration Druids looking for fun, laughs, a drama-free haven, and progression at a 10-
man level.

Requirements: Skilled, mature individuals willing and able to bake at 375 degrees for
3 hours every Wednesday and Thursday evenings at 7pm central time for progression
(normal and heroic), and Sunday nights at 7pm central for nostalgia and achievement
raiding. Must be able to at least hear vent, if not necessarily speak on it (though some
exceptions can be made – ask your doctor… er, ask the raid leader). Desire to be part of
building a small guild into something great and unique required. Individuals incapable of
avoiding bad things on a regular basis need not apply (it makes the raid leaders froth at
the mouth, which, while funny at first, isn’t for very long).

Contact Info – Find our application at http://hilarityensues.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?
GuildID=372201&ForumID=1777704&TabID=3123120&Replies=0&TopicID=9273210
and submit to hilarityjesters@gmail.com, or contact any of our members in game for
further information.

Disclaimer: Hilarity Ensues is not housebroken. May cause smirks, grins, chortles,
guffaws, and groans. Hilarity Ensues is not responsible for any damages incurred by
uproarious laughter, giddiness over epic drops, eye-rolling over bad puns, or talk about
delicious food. Not available in all countries. Ask your doctor if Hilarity Ensues is
right for you. Hilarity Ensues has not been tested on animals. Hilarity Ensues has been
tested on Gnomes. Hilarity Ensues does not cover misuse, damage from lightning, flood,
tornado, hurricanes, neglect, tag removals, EMPs resulting from nuclear explosion, or
conversations with an Aquarius on a Tuesday. No animals were harmed in the making
of this disclaimer, but the Chihuahua next door is living on borrowed time, believe me.
These materials are supplied by Hilarity Ensues as a service to applicants and may be
used for informational purposes only. Accept no substitutes.

Bastion of Twilight: Halfus Wyrmbreaker

Bastion of Twilight: Halfus Wyrmbreaker
King of the If-Thens
or Omnomitron, with Dragons

“Amber,” you’re probably wondering, “What is with the ‘King of the If-Thens’ thing?” 

He’s the King of the If-Thens because while reading strats my head started to hurt.  So much so that I doubt this will be as funny as usual, I don’t have cheap opportunities for penis jokes.

Like Nef of old, every week is different due to the random combination of drakes that can be freed.  This means a lot of headdesking for everyone involved at first.  I have only attempted this boss a few times, so if there’s errors, just let me know and I’ll try to fix them.  Expect a lot of repeated info from section to section because, OMG, so much shit.

General Overview

This is a two tank fight.  The proto drake that is present does not need to tanked, it’ll just sometimes chuck things at you (Thanks buddy!).  Instead you’ll have one tank on Halfus and one on the released drake(s).

When you walk into the room, two drakes will have cartoon-like seeing stars effects over their heads.  These will be the drakes that are NOT active that week.  You can walk over to the drakes you plan on releasing without aggroing the boss.  How many drakes you release depends on who is up–we were releasing two, thanks to the fucked up combo we got (Nether + Slate + Storm, FUUUUUCK), but the video I watched showed only one.  YMMV.

Berserk timer: 6 minutes.

I just wanted to draw a dragon. This one may be considering eating you.

Tanks
If the Slate Dragon is up, Halfus will gain Malevolent Strikes.  This applies a stacking healing debuff, and will require the tanks to swap to drop the stacks.  When this drake is released, the boss will periodically be stunned for 12 seconds (I presume this is long enough for the debuff to drop, perhaps negating the need to swap tanks once Slate is released).

If the Nether Scion is up, Halfus’ attack speed will double.  When released, he will cast a debuff that will reduce his chance to hit, attack speed, and damage done by 25%. 
Note: when we had both Nether and Slate up at once, the MS stacked absurdly fast, so releasing the Scion seemed to make a huge difference. 

If the Storm Rider is up, Halfus gains a shadow nova.  It does roughly 30k shadow damage and knocks everyone back.  Needless to say this ability is an ABSOLUTE BITCH, because until you release the drake, interrupting the nova is well nigh impossible.  Once the Storm Rider is released, however, the cast time is slowed and you can (and need to!) interrupt.   The tank may need to pitch in with interrupts here and there.
When we attempted this fight, two of us (DPS DK and warrior) stayed on Halfus to cover interrupts, because our interrupts were on too long of a CD to handle it with only one.  The first shadow nova seems to make it off regardless, so be aware of that and use what cooldowns you can.

If the Emerald Whelps are up, then the proto drake gains scorching breath.  I have a hunch this means you should not stand in front of him.  If you release the whelps, then they case a stacking poision that reduces the proto drake’s damage done.   You should probably still not stand in front of him, though. 
Note: I watched a video and this may well be unavoidable damage.  Fuck if I know for sure. 

If the Time Warden is up, then the proto drake will spit random fireballs at people.  Thanks, asshole!  At least if you release him he slows down the cast rate. 

Other things: Below 50% Halfus will periodically cast Furious Roar, which will deal ~10k damage and knock everyone down.

Healer
If the Slate Dragon is up, Halfus will gain Malevolent Strikes.  This applies a stacking healing debuff, and will require the tanks to swap to drop the stacks.  When this drake is released, the boss will periodically be stunned for 12 seconds (I presume this is long enough for the debuff to drop, perhaps negating the need to swap tanks once Slate is released).

This will probably make you cry, so prepare to kiss your mana goodbye and be ready to cover switching tanks.

If the Nether Scion is up, Halfus’ attack speed will double.  When released, he will cast a debuff that will reduce his chance to hit, attack speed, and damage done by 25%. 
Note: when we had both Nether and Slate up at once, the MS stacked absurdly fast, so releasing the Scion seemed to make a huge difference. 

Just more ow for your tanks.

If the Storm Rider is up, Halfus gains a shadow nova.  It does roughly 30k shadow damage and knocks everyone back.  Although the drake should be released shortly so that it can be interrupted, it seems like the first shadow goes off regardless, so be aware of that and use what cooldowns you can.

If the Emerald Whelps are up, then the proto drake gains scorching breath.  I have a hunch this means you should not stand in front of him.  If you release the whelps, then they case a stacking poision that reduces the proto drake’s damage done.   (Note: having watched a video with this active, it may be unavoidable damage)

Oh look more shit for you to heal through!

If the Time Warden is up, then the proto drake will spit random fireballs at people.  Thanks, asshole!  At least if you release him he slows down the cast rate. 

…even MORE shit to heal through!

Other things: Below 50% Halfus will periodically cast Furious Roar, which will deal ~10k damage and knock everyone down.  Do I need to say it?

DPS
If the Slate Dragon is up, Halfus will gain Malevolent Strikes.  This MS-like ability will mean that your tanks will be switching, so you might want to watch your aggro a litle more closely.
When this drake is released, the boss will periodically be stunned for 12 seconds\ (I presume this is long enough for the debuff to drop, perhaps negating the need to swap tanks once Slate is released).  Enjoy the easy DPS time!

If the Nether Scion is up, things will happen that you don’t really care about.  Next!

If the Storm Rider is up, Halfus gains a shadow nova.  It does roughly 30k shadow damage and knocks everyone back.  Needless to say this ability is an ABSOLUTE BITCH, because until you release the drake, interrupting the nova is well nigh impossible.  Once the Storm Rider is released, however, the cast time is slowed and you can (and need to!) interrupt.  
When we attempted this fight, two of us (DPS DK and warrior) stayed on Halfus to cover interrupts, because our interrupts were on too long of a CD to handle it with only one.  The first shadow nova seems to make it off regardless, so be aware of that and use what cooldowns you can.  If you’re an interrupt bitch do not leave Halfus ever OMG.

If the Emerald Whelps are up, then you will have fire breathed on you.  Damn.

If the Time Warden is up, then you will have random fireballs spit at you.  Ow.

Other things: Below 50% Halfus will periodically cast Furious Roar, which will deal ~10k damage and knock everyone down.  Fuck being knocked down oh my god.

The State of the Ori

Long time without a post from me! I guess that if you don’t check in with Bubs and I on twitter, you might have wondered what happened to me and why I stopped contributing. One part was boredom with Wrath raiding and a lack of ideas due to that, but the major part was the fact that I got a job after a long period of unemployment, yay! In August I started working at a preschool, and initially I thought that I’d take a couple of weeks off from WoW to get adjusted, then get back in the game pretty quickly. It turns out that I severely underestimated what my job would entail.

After a day of MANY BABIES (and it’s true, dwarf babies come out fully bearded and demanding beer), I was left feeling kind of like this.

Which meant that NO, I did not want to log onto WoW and hang out in ICC again. I didn’t even want to make the trip all the way from my front door to the bed. I seriously spent at least a month collapsing on my couch to eat dinner then go to sleep for a couple of hours until my boyfriend woke me up and made me go to the actual bed.

But I really missed my friends in Stands in Bad – I honestly enjoy goofing around with them while playing more than anything else about the game. I didn’t bother pre-ordering Cataclysm because I had no idea how I was going to feel about playing, but on the day of the release I went ahead and decided to pull my big girl panties up and get back into the game. I ordered the online download (which was amazingly convenient but now I’m kicking myself because I want the CE and the Underbitewing pet) and started playing the weekend of release.

And you know what? I LOVE IT. I was so burnt out on Wrath, and I’m so happy to say that I’m really loving Cataclysm. The class changes have me excited and enjoying holy paladin healing more than ever. Leveling wasn’t a pain in the ass at all – I got to 83 that first weekend then 85 over the next few weeknights even with my limited play time. The quests were interesting and engaging, and flying in Azeroth is the best (though QQ for the death of ground mounts). Light of Dawn and Holy Radiance get me all a-tingle. I can heal ALL THE THINGS with light that shoots out of my boobs.

Even the bad things aren’t that bad. I have about 3 hours on weeknights to play, and at first when I got to the appropriate gear level I tried to pug heroics. That was a Bad Idea, but realizing that LFD wasn’t going to work out for me made me decide to pester my guild mates for guild groups, which has been a blast. It’s hard not to have fun with people in SiB, especially in a group with Amber when we unintentionally have dying contests (I’m currently the winner). Even instances that have mechanics that I hate are pretty fun when you’re able to joke about your incompetence. Mario hall in Deadmines, I’m looking at YOU.

Every fucking time.

Shake off the holiday dust.

I was rewarded for leveling engineering last night by getting firebombed by Deathwing.  This was initially really cool!  I mean, how could the GM of Stands in Bad not have Stood in the Fire?

…but then everything kept burning.  And burning.  I flew my ghostly gryphon over some of the rest of the zone–patches of fire, but not the blanket of burning that surrounded my corpse.  I guess Deathwing makes the lava beds of the Twilight Highlands extra-burny.

So I rezzed in a safe spot and tried to scoot around to nail my quest mob again, but oops!  The effect is larger than the graphic lol, where have I seen that before?!

But we’ll uh…we’ll pretend I didn’t die to the fire twice, okay?