Posts Tagged Harryotter has died
This post brought to you by hardly playing WoW at all this weekend.
I posted my Mim strat on the guild forums-it was, after all, intended to be a refresher for tonight’s raid.
Harryotter: but but but what about my strat? I feel left out :(
Darkened: Sorry Harry, but your strat doesn’t have a single curse word in it nor any mention of “Pirate Robots”. It’s good, but Amber should obviously be hired by Blizz to write a book on all the boss strats in the game, you just can’t compete with that.
Of course guildies will also use our forums to tell me I have a big ego, but I guess they’re entitled to do that too. Even if they’re wrong. I mean, obviously, why would I have a big ego?
Wait, I think I hear Josh saying something in the background…what’s he saying? “Look I’m a blogger! I’m important on the internet!”*
…aww, man, I just get it from all sides!
That’s okay, we all know how my heal and rez priorities work now, right? Right. Only it’s really hard to threaten other healers with no heals…
*He actually mocks me with this a lot. He’s lucky he’s a tank, or he’d get no heals, either. Twit.
“Amber, aren’t you skipping a bunch?”
Yeah but we’re doing this on Monday, so I figured it was time for a refresher.
DISCLAIMER: I haven’t actually DOWNED this boss yet. We’ve gotten through a few phases but I was too busy going OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HEALS to really pay attention to nuances. In other words, I have no idea what the fuck goes on because OH GOD THE TANK DIED WHAT THE FUCK BREZ BREZ OH LORD THE OTHER TANK DIED WHAT THE HELL.
- Don’t stand in shit that hurts
- DPS what you’re told WHEN you’re told, mister
- AMG HEAL THE TANK
- LOL DAMAGE EVERYWHERE
- Oh look adds
PHASE 1 – Mini Lootmobile
In this phase, he does stuff, and this stuff stings. He drops mines on the ground, and they hurt like a bitch, so avoid those. He also does something called Shock Blast, which is an AoE, so tanks and melee need to GTFO. Your rogues are probably going to die, because…they’re rogues, and that’s what they do.
The tank and healers need to have cool downs ready for when he uses Plasma Blast every 30 seconds or so. If you don’t, your tank will probably die, too, and then you’ll have to listen to him bitch and no one wants that.
Spread out slightly (5 yds) so that napalm shell doesn’t splash damage onto anyone else. Your raid healers need to keep their eyes peeled for this icky bit of fire damage.
Keep spread out, dorks.
Healers, he’s going to be spamming random shit on the raid. Randomly. Try to keep people topped up for when he decides to randomly hit the same person with everything, as per Normal Boss Operation.
Tanks, you get to lol DPS. Enjoy. :P
When he “spins up”, everyone needs to get their asses away from his front end. He’ll cast a laser barrage and unlike your disc priest’s lasers, you don’t want these. Run away from it.
Circles on the ground are bad.
LOL WARLOCK TANK. I mean, er. He’s airborne in this phase so you need a ranged DPS who can soak some damage. A warlock is actually a good choice, though. A hunter works, as well.
Due to the fact that you’re dealing with ads, you might want to clump into a range group, and a tank/melee group, so that things aren’t total chaos.
Tanks, put away your loldps weapons. You get to play with Assault bots! They hit like a train and oh, they root you too. Someone should play cleanse bitch to clear off the snare they put on the tank, and they’ll take a good amount of damage. In 25s these actually have to be kited by some ranged DPS who can snare. Apparently this is not the case anymore. Dear “real strat” websites, please to be updating your shit, kthx.
There will be junk bots who wander around aimlessly. These can safely be ignored and will probably die to incidental AoE. Bomb bots are a wee bit ouchy, though, so you don’t want to give them hugs. They can be kited and killed.
Put loot on free for all. When assault bots die, they drop a Magnetic Core. Picking these up and dropping them underneath the boss will cause him to descend and take more damage for a brief period of time.
PHASE 4 – ONCE MORE, WITH PIRATES ROBOTS
All that shit but together. Don’t step on the mines, don’t stand in the lasers, and don’t hug the boss during Shock Blast. The head and body have separate aggro tables, so you’ll again need a ranged to “tank” the head while your tank tanks the tank. I mean, the bottom. The mini lootmobile. Whatever. They maintain their aggro tables from earlier in the fight.
Oh, and they all have to die at about the same time. Enjoy!
Obviously, DPS will have to be coordinated. Pay attention to what you’re told and not the damn meters.
Imagine all this taking place between a guy who sounds rather stoned, and officers who sound slightly sarcastic.
“I thought we were doing 25s…why aren’t we doing 25s?”
“‘Cause…we only had 16 sign ups?”
“Oh…why don’t people sign up?”
“…I don’t fucking know.”
“They should sign up! Not signing up is…bad!”
We really have these conversations with guildies, people. We really do.
Also, it is really hard to heal when my cat is not only in my lap, but resting her paws on my boobs, kneading them, and trying to rub her cheek against my nose. Yes HELLO Vesta. I SEE you. I kind of can’t MISS you.
Sometimes, you die because I let you. And sometimes, you die because my cat is letting me know my priorities in life are clearly fucked up…
We had a bunch of new recruits that joined en masse quit lately, because they “didn’t feel included.” Well now!
I thought it would be beneficial to go over a few helpful ideas to help one and ones friends mesh when joining a larger guild as a group.
1) Don’t all sit in your own vent channel. Mingle.
2) If you join a raiding guild to raid, you might want to try to sign up for raids.
3) The message board is not there to look pretty. Use it.
If you proceed to isolate yourselves in your little clique, then you might not feel included. Just sayin’. Also, when I say sign up for raids, I mean sign up for raids outside of out Naxx25 farm runs. There’s this stuff called progression content? That we mostly focus on? Yeah…sign up for those. Only two of those people up there ever signed up for Ulduar. Two! So all in all, we lost…very little…when they gquit.
They turned…my pet…into…a leper gnome…
Dear Blizzard Gear Designers,
Did you know that male draenei are barrel chested? And that female draenei like to stick out their boobs? …you did? I see. Then uh…why didn’t you take this into account for the priest gear?
@Arrens and cohorts: