Posts Tagged I don’t know what the hell to tag this really so here have a random tag

Friday Flowchart: Dungeon Queues

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A Sometimes Tank’s Opinion on Threat Changes

First, from the DPS part of my brain: oh thank god.

Then, from the tanking part of my brain that includes not only my decently geared DK but also my undergeared tank alts: OH THANK GOD.

For one thing–hi.  My name is Amber and I currently play a Frost/Blood DK.  Frost has become something of a proc machine lately. I can have more Killing Machine procced almost constantly in some cases, and while delicious for my DPS it has caused me to face tank–in raids, with well geared and skilled tanks–more than once. Or if not face tanking then I stand there and pet my cat while auto attacking, and that’s no fun for anyone but Vesta.

Have I mentioned that I have no threat drop?  Because um, I have no threat drop. I don’t even have something like feint or cower.  Just death, of the non-feigned time.

Also, have you EVER tried to level up a tank alt in pugged heroics well into the expansion?  Have you? If my DK is yanking threat off well geared tanks in Zulroics I can only imagine what I’d do to someone less geared than me. Actually, I don’t have to imgaine, I remember clearly from the last time I leveled an alt tank.  It sucks.

I’m not worried about tanking being dumbed down. You’ve seen raid encounters lately, right? Pray tell, where do you see a tank and spank fight? Nowhere? Okay then.

And last but not least, back to that thing about being a DK tank.  I’m too busy mashing buttons trying to STAY ALIVE to worry about silly little things like THREAT.

In conclusion: woo!

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Cho’gall: DPS Edition

I’m going to break these up into Melee and Ranged, because we do have slightly different jobs for phase one.

Melee Phase One:
Be prepared to rage at tiny hit boxes.

The way we handle this in 10s, both melee peel off the boss to follow the add tank. You’re worried about two things here: 1) interrupting Depravity (OMG IMPORTANT) and 2) not accidentally killing the add before the tank drags him back to the doors.  Once the add is dead, run back to the boss and DPS as normal.

Be sure to keep an eye out for people who are worshipped so that you can give them a good whack as you go by.  With an interrupt, mind you, no matter how tempting it is to do otherwise.  Sometimes your fellow melee will get worshipped on the way back and stand there worshipping away because no one is paying any fucking attention to shit behind them.

While on the boss, there’s really nothing special to consider except interrupting worshippers when you can. Oh and not standing in things. But really, should I have to include things like “don’t stand in fire and dark puddles on the ground” at this stage?

Ranged Phase One:
When the adds die up by the door, the dark puddles they drop on the floor will spawn oozes.  The oozes need to die.  The melee should, ideally, never even know they exist!  Otherwise pay no attention to the ugly adds that SPAWN the oozes–that’s the melee’s job. If there are no oozes up, DPS the boss.

Interrupt any and all people worshipping when you can. 

Don’t stand in things on the floor.

Phase Two, Both:
Kill all the stalks and interrupt their casts.  Once they are dead, flail wildly at the boss until there’s more stalks.

This is a good time to blow Army and other tasty cooldowns.

If you have corruption sickness, do try not to vomit on people, they don’t appreciate that.

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Insert vent session here.

Putting together a SiB raid is like one of those grid logic puzzles. Our two 10 mans have shrunk into one and a half, maybe, on a good day–which for summer is not surpising or even all that terrible.

Usually.

The…colorful personalities I have collected can cause issues, however.

  • Player A will not raid with Player B.
  • Player C would rather not raid with A.  B isn’t their favorite person either, but whatever.
  • Player B has no idea what the fuck.
  • Player D has a whole list of people they’d rather not raid with if given a chance but isn’t that strongly opinioned on the matter.  They’ll just bitch.  A lot.  In whispers.
  • Player E doesn’t want to raid with A if they can help it, either.
  • Player F would rather not raid with A…or G, H, or I.
  • Player G likes everyone that most of the others tend to not like. (I’m glad someone does.)
  • …etc.

…and that incompatible alphabet soup is why we did not have enough to raid last week.  Or rather, we technically would have had enough, if only everyone would Fucking Play Nice Together, but we can’t have nice things and it is what it is.  I love my guild as a whole, but individually?  Well…sometimes a GM just wants to choke a bitch.  But can’t, because she’s GM.  QQ.

And that is why I’ve been a cranky GM lately, because god damn it, children, I just want to fucking raid!  If I can’t have ALL of my favorite people at least SOME of my favorite people is better than NONE (I am totally player D, if you’re trying to guess). Mumble grumble.

>:|

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Cho’gall: Tank Editon

Rather than doing one big post with all sections of the strat, I’m going to try to break this up into thirds. Besides, if I post one part then guilt will compel me to finish the rest.

This post is brought to you by Fuzzbutt, who has actually tanked this more than once (unlike me). I did edit it to my heart’s content, however.

General Notes

Cho’gall is a 2 tank fight. The first tank to grab Cho’gall will end up being the add tank. The second tank will kite Cho’gall himself.

(/slaps wordpress and reclaims her image)

Abilities You Need To Pay Attention To

Fury of Cho’gall – aka AMG LASERS – 3 giant frickin laser beams shoot out of Cho’galls heads and give the active tank 2 debuffs. One increases melee damage taken by 20%, and the other increases shadow damage taken by 20%. It stacks. 
This is your cue to swap tanks.
When it comes time to swap back, you will still have roughly 10 seconds left on your own debuff… that’s normal. Deal with it and pray for no worship stacks.

Summon Corrupting Adherent – This should (theoretically) happen AFTER the taunt swap. He spawns an adherent at one of two portals on either side of the room. I’ll go into more details of the Adherent’s later.

Shadow’s Orders/Empowered Shadows – This will empower Cho’gall’s weapon to do an aoe shadow burst every time the tank is hit. This is a good place for your avoidance trinkets, to cut down on the raid-wide damage.

Flame’s Orders/Empowered Fire – This will empower Cho’gall’s weapon, causing his melee swings to deal fire damage instead of physical damage. This is the heavy-hitting portion of your tank swap, so feel free to use minor, short duration cooldowns (barkskin, anti-magic shell, etc) to help mitigate this. Also, every time he hits you during this time, he will spawn a patch of flame on a random spot on the floor. They will invariably end up in the least convenient places ever.

Also Going On During All That Shit

Cho’gall will cast “Conversion”, MCing 2 (3 in 25 man) raid members and causing them to buff Cho’gall. This adds 10% more damage each stack. The rest of the raid should be handling this, but feel free to throw out a death grip/avenger’s shield/what have you to interrupt them as well. This is a raid-wiping mechanic if it’s not handled properly–the tanks will just take too much damage. If he gets more than 2 stacks of worship, blow a major cooldown (shield wall, icebound fortitude, etc), ESPECIALLY if he has Flame’s Orders up at the time.
(Been there, died during it, OW.)

Back To Those Adherents – Adherent Tank, This Is For You!

The Corrupting Adherent will need to be kited to a predetermined point to die (in our strat, this is the door–see image above). When he dies, he will leave a pool of blood behind, which will in turn summon 5 miniature adds. Those are for the ranged to play with.

While you’re kiting the son of a bitch, he has two abilities that he’ll be using:

Corrupting Crash – Will target one raid member and do AoE shadow damage where it lands. Has about a 3 second travel time. Causes 10 corruption.  Hey guess what! The damage area is bigger than the graphic. Surprise surprise. If he’s really being a prick he’ll target the other tank with it repeatedly.

Depravity – 3 second cast, will hit any raid member in the room with shadow damage and give them 10 corruption. MUST BE INTERRUPTED. In my experience, he always does a depravity right after a corrupting crash. The melee should be following you and helping you interrupt, but he has a tiny ass hit box and they may be worshipped, so be prepared to do any interrupts you can do yourself.

You have roughly 45 seconds to kite the add to the door and kill him before Cho’gall casts Fester Blood. If the adherent isn’t dead by then he’ll do a Shadow AoE and…well…we don’t want that.  He’ll cast roughly 4 Corrupting Crashes and 3 depravitys along the way.

Don’t stand in the black puddles on the ground from previous adherents, they give you more corruption points. These black puddles don’t vanish until phase 2 and are part of why you try to kite everything to this nice, out of the way spot.

Phase 2 – < 25% .

Any adherents still alive will melt away–if you know you’re close to phase 2 you can ignore your final adherent. Whoever has Cho’gall near phase change puts Cho’gall against a wall beforehand, to make it easier for the raid to kill the stalks.

This is a strict burn phase. There’s no more Empowered Shadow/Fire, no more adherent summons, no more fester blood, and no more conversion. He will still do Fury of Cho’gall, so keep an eye on that for taunt swapping. If you’re not tanking the boss then you get to go play with eyeball stalks. They have only one ability, Debilitating Beam. It is teh suck and should be interrupted (stalks can be stunned). Army of the dead is win, etc. Hopefully Cho’gall falls over dead before you do!

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Children’s Week Ficlet

This was a WoW ficlet I did back in ’08 for Children’s Week, and it amused me enough that I thought I’d repost it.  It stars Lyestra, my warrior, and her bastard half sister Jamethera, my hunter.

Fish Out of Water
A Children’s Week 2008 Story

“Don’t look at her like that, Ly.”
Lyestra Shadowbane turned towards her half-sister and gave her a blank look. “It’s a child. A Draenei child, at that.”
“And cute!” Jamethera swept her own little orphan girl into a hug. “I think it’s nice that we get to take them out to see some stuff.”
“Yes. We get to drag children through dangerous places. Totally wonderful and completely logical.” Her tone was as dry as Tanaris.
“Think of it as practice!”
“Practice for what?” Lyestra quirked an eyebrow.
“Well, what if you and Hazard decide to have children?” The huntress grinned wickedly.
Lyestra again gave her a blank stare. “What did Illyana feed you this morning? Whatever it was, you can’t have any more of it. Clearly, it’s a hallucinogen.”
“Don’t act like you don’t like them! You helped raise me!” There was a six hundred year age difference between the two…not that Lyestra always liked to be reminded of that.
“And clearly you don’t remember the time I locked you in the closet because you wouldn’t leave me alone.”
Confusion flickered across Jamthera’s face. “What? You didn’t do that. Did you?”
Lyestra just smirked. “Come along, child.” She held out her hand for the orphan’s pale blue one. “Let’s go to Nagrand.”
“…you know,” Jamethera said with some exasperation as she scrambled to catch up, “You and Hazard deserve each other. I consider him an agent of karma. He fucks with your head, but it’s what you get for fucking with everyone elses!”
“Watch your mouth around the children, ‘Thera.” It was all the warrior could do to keep a straight face.
“Oh please.” Jamethera rolled her eyes.
“You argue like me and my brother,” Ly’s little orphan girl broke in suddenly.
Lyestra flashed the girl–Dolorra? Dorna?–a grin. “Well, she is my sister, so I guess that makes sense.”
“Deep down, she truly loves me and regrets all the horrible, mean, evil things she does to me,” Jamethera said as she helped her little girl aboard her massive netherdrake.
“Like hell I do.” Ly winked at the young draenei.

Lyestra had mostly tuned out the children. Though she still loosely clasped the girl’s fragile hand in her calloused one, both girls seemed content yakking Jamethera’s ears off. Between her netherdrake, the giant blue talbuk, and her deceptively cuddly snow leopard, she was by far the more interesting sibling.
They had already passed through Nagrand and the rather desolate Ring of Observance. Now they wandered down the tunnel towards the Caverns of Time. As they passed one of the side passages leading towards the known rifts, Lyestra stopped, face shuttered.
“What’s ‘smatter, Ly?” Dolorra tugged at her hand. “We’re going to see the dragon over there!”
Jamethera’s gaze caught her sister’s knowingly. “Haven’t been down here yet?”
“No.” Abrubtly, Lyestra gave herself a slight shake and strode past the route to time’s echo of Hyjal. Just when she thought it didn’t haunt her… “Let’s go see the dragon.”
“You okay?” The draenei tilted her head back to peer up at the elf, her pale brow creased.
Ly seemed flustered by her genuine concern. “Just remembering unpleasant things.”
“Oh.” She paused. “Do they give you nightmares, too?”
Ly halted again, but this time she looked at the girl and gave her fingers a light squeeze. “Sometimes. But then I wake up and remember that it was awhile ago now and it’s okay.”
They resumed walking and for a time a silence fell between them. Then abruptly, her breathy young voice surprisingly solemn, “It does stop hurting after awhile, right? They aren’t lying to us about that?”
“They aren’t, not really,” it was Jamethera who responded first, her voice soft. “I lost my mother a few years ago. It hurt a lot then. It still hurts now, but not all the time like it used to. Just sometimes when I’d miss her the most, like her birthday.” She glanced at Lyestra. “And I had other people who cared about me, so it was okay. You’ll be fine.”
Ly gave into a random urge and tousled the girl’s hair. “Don’t let it hold you back, little one. What do you want to be some day?”
“I want to be a paladin!” She skipped along the sand as they resumed their trek. “Then I can be strong and help people.”
“I know a paladin,” Jamethera replied, her tone once more cheery. “Maybe we can take you to see her when we’re done. Her name is Ambrosine, and she is an orphan too, actually.”
“I want to be a shaman!” The other girl trilled. “Do you know any shamans?”
“We’ll see who I can find later,” the huntress promised.
“I thought we were just going to take them to these three places and then give them back,” Lyestra said quietly as the girls ran up to the pedestal with the great bronze dragon on it.
“I don’t see the harm in taking them to Stormwind as well. It’s not as if they get out much, Ly!”
She sighed. “I know, but what will Ambrosine think of us just dropping in on her?”
“Pfft, ‘Sine loves kids!” Jamethera dismissed her concern with a flick of her long fingers. “Don’t be so eager to get rid of them.”
“Jamethera, I don’t know what to do with kids! Never mind apparently disturbed orphan draenei.” The warrior eyed the pair warily.
“Again–good practice!”
“…what would I need practice with disturbed children for? Unless you’re saying something about my supposed parenting skills, which considering the lack thereof, would probably be pretty accurate. I would indeed produce warped, disturbed children. Which is exactly why I shouldn’t.”
“You and Hazard would have cute children! Adorable little half-elf babies!”
“I swear by all that’s holy, Jam, if you continue bringing that up, I really will shove you in a closet.” She scowled.
“Gotta catch me first, LyLy!” The lithe night elf took off running.
“Dammit Jamethera!” Though she knew it was fruitless, Lyestra took off after her.
“Watch your language!”
The two draenei girls exchanged glances, eyebrows raised. “They’re supposed to be grown-ups?”

Later that evening, with both young orphans back in Shattrath, the sisters wandered down the street to the home Jamethera shared with Illyana. “Come in, have a drink before you leave. I don’t know why you insist on still living in Ashenvale.”
“I like my little house out in the woods, thank you. It’s quite cozy.”
Jamethera opened the door and gestured her in. “I wasn’t kidding earlier, you know.”
“About what?” Lyestra’s brows drew together in puzzlement.
“You and Hazard making cute babies!” Jamethera grinned, easily dodging the blow intended for her shoulder.
Ly scowled again. “Stop it. I prefer being the aunt, or the older sister. Then I get to do the fun things with the kids, give them the obnoxious toys, and give them back to their parents for the unfun stuff. Suits me just fine. I’ll tell you what. If you have kids, I’ll play with ‘em. How about that?”
“Oh yes, Illyana and I will get right on that.” Forget dripping with sarcasm, the sentiment was well-nigh saturated with it.  She cut Ly off before she could make any obvious lesbian elf jokes.  “Come on! You two are getting married, it’s naturally the next step. I want to be the aunt.”
“…is Illyana home?” Lyestra glanced down the hall.
“No, why?”
“Good.” The closet had already been opened so they could hang up their cloaks. Ly shoved Jamethera into it and slammed the door shut before the huntress could do more than squeak. A handy chair wedged under the door handle completed the job. She glanced at Schneeflocke but the cat just blinked at her lazily. Apparently it amused the great snow leopard to let her two legged companion be confined.
“Remember,” came the muffled threat, “She’s bigger than you! And coming home soon!”
“Exactly why I’ll begin running in a moment here.” Lyestra hastily scribbled a note. It read: Please don’t kill me Illy. I had to do it. She was being obnoxious. …I love you, almost-sister dear?
Leaving the note on the table next to the closet, Lyestra turned and ran.

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No foolin’ here.

Too often, my Apil Fool jokes end up coming true in one way or another–the year I /gquit BoO and joined Viva La Muffin, the year I switched my Twitter over to ILikeRawrRedPet…

I think I shall abstain from a joke this year out of fear.  I mean, I’d hate to really go horde or something later.

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