Posts Tagged looking for douchebags

Dear DPS in Full PVP Gear

ETA: If you can go into a heroic in pvp gear and do 15k DPS, this post is not about you.  Also, there’s a line between “I am a PVPer stepping into PvE content” and “I’m a PvEr who bought these blues off the AH when I dinged 85 and didn’t bother to reforge, gem, or enchant anything, so that I could have random people carry me through heroics.” It is the latter who have sparked my ire.

Dear DPS in Full PVP Gear,

Look, I realize that using PVP gear to cheese the ilevel requirements is a quick and easy way into the new heroics. Really, I do–see my own pvp shoulders?  But please understand one thing: the heroics themselves will not be quick and easy while you’re limping along doing less than half of the DPS of everyone else. 9k is not an acceptable amount of DPS.

You can’t count on some uber DPS trying to cap VP coming along and carrying your sorry, lazy ass. Murphy’s Law states that you will be tossed in a group with all or one of the following:

  • other DPS doing the exact same thing and sucking just as hard
  • someone on an alt still figuring out WTF they are doing
  • some fucking idiot who thinks that wearing half healing and/or tanking gear to DPS is somehow fucking hunky dory
  • someone with 2 FPS
  • someone with perfectly good gear who is just That Guy who is terrible no matter what

And then things won’t die fast at all and your healer will run out of mana healing these super long fights while the 2 fps guy stands in bad and OH GOD THE PAIN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Newsflash: the normal heroics are STILL IN THE GAME.

GO FUCKING RUN THEM YOU LAZY ASS COCKKNOB.

Get some other heroic loot and some JP stuff and then maybe, just maybe, you can fucking SUPPLEMENT your shit with pvp gear to cheese the last bit of ilevel, okay?

BUT YOU REALLY CAN’T WEAR JUST PVP GEAR AND NOT MAKE ME WANT TO RIP OUR YOUR ANUS VIA YOUR THROAT.

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Friday Flowchart: Dungeon Queues

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CC: Thoughts, and Remembrances

CC: To “require” it, or not?

On one hand, you have people bitching about how not requiring CC in instances these days makes things 1) too easy on the DPS and 2) too hard on non-AoE tanks.

On the other hand, you have memories (if you’re me, anyway) of trying to do Shattered Halls with a warrior tank, a paladin healer, 2 warlocks and a rogue.  Have you ever tried to only use a rogue and warlocks as CC?  No?  Let me tell you it’s exciting!  You pull back and try to fear safely, but more adds pull anyway, and you wipe…

…the sap breaks early, and you wipe…

…the rogue forgets to stealth, pulls the mobs, dies and gets made fun of…

…the seduce breaks early and the sucubus gets nommed…

…and you have no choice becuase that’s all you have in your guild and there’s NO ONE in LFG and, ugh.

I’m not sure how there’d be middle ground unless EVERY DPS had a (reliable) form of CC?

How would needing CC again work with LFD, anyway?  Do you have DPS, and DPS w/CC as new selections?  Would the warlock tricks even count?  What about rogue sap?  If you ended up with 2 rogues as your CC, that still wouldn’t be…great. 

You know what?  I STILL hate Shattered Halls.

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Some Bite With My Bark

When I first rolled my druid back in Vanilla, I just wanted to run around as a cat.  I leveled her as a full cat druid into her 30s then dropped her in the dust bin for awhile.  When I picked her back up in Wrath, she got a shiny tree dual spec because I was interested in resto druids, and because DPS queues were a pain. 

…and then I still spent forever waiting for a tank.  I tried tanking in cat spec and that was awful, so I concocted some hybrid bastard spec of CatBeardom and muddled my way through when not waving my branches.

Finally, at 64, I gave up on cat.  I am an AWFUL cat.  I retooled my feral spec for All Bear, All The Time…

…and proceeded to have an aching wrist from doing nothing but frantically spamming my swipe button.  That lovely rotation I researched?  Only for bosses, apparently.  If I do anything on trash other than “roar + maul/swipe macro spam” then boom, loose mobs everywhere.  I’m glaring at you, mages and warlocks and death and decay happy death knights.

My lacerate button sits on my bar, mostly unloved.

I like bear tanking–like my paladin, it seems a little more forgiving to idiocy (both my own, and on behalf of others).  On the other hand, I have multiple o snap buttons like my warrior.  Psych (as she is now known) seems likely to make it to 80 at this point.  Will she tree, or bear, or both?  That is the question…

Of course, the name Psychiatree is cute on a tree and a little odd on a bear…

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On Heroics and Altitis

So many toons, so little time.  My priest needs some badges still, because I…still have some trophys in my bag to make use of.   My hunter needs badges because she only has two pieces of t9 and also has some other gear to replace.  She’s also back to being my primary alt, since I fail at shadow priesting and use her to step in for 2 heal situations. 

My paladin technically could use upgrades, but she’s gathering dust.  We don’t need her right now.  My warrior could use a LOT of badges and I do like warrior tanking, but if you’ve been reading along you’re also aware of the fits of screaming rage pugs cause me with her.  O NOES BLUES WHY DIDN’T YOU DING WITH PURPLES YOU FAIL TANK.

A lot of that is related to speed.  People want fast, so that they can run more heroics and get more badges.  Blizzard is even catering to this, nerfing certain longer instances.

Oh, Blizzard.  I don’t want you encouraging people to be speed happy douchebags.  Speed happy douchebags (be they healers who bail, DPS that pulls first, or tanks that rush ahead and pull half a room at a time) are annoying.   No, no, more than annoying.  Rage inducing.

I mean I want to run more heroics, sure!  I just want to run more heroics with people who aren’t dicks.  I guess that the nerfs will make it easier on my poor warrior-assuming, of course, that I can ever bring myself to touch her again-in one respect…but…meh.

Meh.

Of course I understand that Blizzard is trying to curb one kind of stupid (bailing on lengthy instances) with these changes.  I also understand that they can’t do anything about the kind of stupid that is irritating me (o hai, jerkfaces)*.   But you know what? I’m going to bitch, anyway, because it keeps me from throwing things around the room.

But if you’re going to nerf something, can it be those first whelp pulls in Oc?  I hate those things, they’re annoying.  :(

*Rating systems scare me, exactly because I CAN seem to be the worst tank in the world sometimes.  D:

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