Why’d I sign on for this job, again?

So last night, not only did we fail to reassemble our Ulduar25, but we then proceeded to wipe in Naxx.  Wipe in Naxx. 

Now, let me paint the scene for you: your GM and an officer, or two thirds of your tanks if you will, have worked lots of OT lately.  They didn’t have a weekend.  They are tired and cranky as all get out, and one of them is already such a cranky pants that his guild note is actually Cranky Tank.  Your healing lead and recruitment officer is not only feeling the weight of OMG NEED MORE PEOPLE ITS MY JOB TO FIX IT HALP, but she’s in a simmering PMS induced rage caused by merely existing.  Next thing you know, asking for a fort buff AFTER I’VE ALREADY BUFFED WHY THE FUCK DID YOU AFK OUT OF RANGE ANYWAY JACKASS is a major offense, and wiping on 4H is the end  of the WORLD.

…that was BoO last night.  We had a bunch of people that joined us because they wanted to raid, and then they failed to sign up and blew us off when asked for dailies and regular UK.  The rage build up is pretty high amongst the leadership and we’re facing a mass gkick.  Of course, since they haven’t been raiding with us anyway, it’s not like it’ll hurt us.  It’s just one more annoyance.

It’s not guild destroying, but it’s one of those lay low weeks, you know?  I’ve gone and spruced up and reposted our recruitment posts, so I’m going to cross our fingers and hope we get some nibbles.  Our DPS and healing cores need a good boost.  I hate when it’s attendance issues that get us because my mind instantly dumps all the pressure on me.  Bleh!

Enrage in 3…2…1

I hold myself to high standards.  These standards bleed over onto the people around me, especially if they are fellow officers in my guild.  Remember-I am the recruitment officer.  I want to polish up the turd delightfully quirky mix of people that is my guild so that I can “sell” it to other people. 

Don’t say the words “it’s just Naxx”.  Just don’t.  It’s not “just Naxx”, it’s several hours of my time.  It’s several hours of 24 other people’s time, and this isn’t a pug-this is a guild run.  With several new guildies we would like to retain, which means, don’t be fucking lazy.  You weren’t listening to vent and had music turned up?  The requests for buffs were put in raid chat, several times.  You were sitting there playing with your dick and hitting the Holy Light button and not reading raid?  You have Pally Power-use it.  Is that box not the right color?  Click on it, and it’ll do the buffs for you!  Don’t laze your way through a class and spec I know and then act surprised when I call you on it.   People are rabid about their paladin buffs.  Rabid.  Don’t want to waste reagents when all of the melee dies on every trash pull in the Military Quarter?  Right click does baby buffs!  Holy shit!

You do realize that they are yelling at me for buffs because I am also a paladin, right?  And that when I have my buffs properly given out I don’t want to be nagged constantly because someone think I’m your fucking mother?

My position in this guild is not “Chief Nag”, here to make the rest of you do your jobs, even when your job is just not being a lazy ass paladin.  And don’t pull the “Well FINE just replace me and I’ll go PvP” bullshit ’cause that’s real fucking mature.

Speaking of maturity: I will not copy and paste this into the officer forums…I will not copy and paste this into the officer forums…I will not copy and paste this into the officer forums…

I will just post calling Randy a douche

Now I must go post a short, polite, reasoned explantion why I was so irritated last night…

Dear Asshats: DIAF

What the hell is in the water this week?  First we have the worlds crappiest pally ninja, and then we go to complete our Naxx25 tonight and find that someone “borrowed” our raid ID.  Seriously, people?  You get invited to a MOSTLY GUILDED Naxx run and you think it’s okay to help yourself to the rest of the run despite their announcement of the finishing day?  Real nice, guys.

Mai tank lewtz, I no can haz dem this week.  :(

I did snag the really awesome off-set tanking legs though.  Maybe next week I can tank Sapph and not die, eh?

Driving Me to Drink

Last night, we finished off our Naxx25.  Although I missed a boss due to an alarm going off in my apartment, I grabbed new shoulders and a helm.  But god damn it I earned that loot.

Apparently I can’t tank Sapph.  I tried twice and he just went OM NOM NOM NOM LOL I KEEL JOO.   Therefore I stood around tossing prot heals (she’s not dual spec)  and muttering under my breath about how I thought I wasn’t healing on this toon ever again, damn it!  Then came KT.

Oh, KT.

Nothing drives me BATTIER than chain FBs amongst the ranged.  I ended up using Amber’s Thinly Vieled I Am About To Kill You All Voice, which I’ve been told comes off as condescending.  Very well then-I’m condescending when you all waste my time by dying because you can’t download a fucking addon to make up for the fact that you can’t fucking find where to stand.  And when you DO find a place to stand and the people around you aren’t mysteriously having to shift over to get out of the way then STAND THE FUCK STILL.  The only reason you should budge from your safe cozy spot is an Ouchy Red Thing.  No Ouchy Red Thing?  Don’t fucking move.   If we wipe several times over stupid shit and the same mage’s name keeps popping up amongst chained FBs and your OT announces over vent that she’s going to go spike her lemonade now, you’re doing it wrong.

(For the record, Wild Strawberry Liquor + Amarretto + Lemonade does make frustrating wipes a little better). 

Not everyone needs to have eleventy billion addons to raid well-but if you raid with us at all, at least get DBM, for fuck’s sake.  The whole “don’t stand near people” is not a new mechanic, and it’ll crop up again, even if you don’t care for the other alerts (but you should because they’re great).  This is pet peeve dating back from C’thun attempts, where one of our priests refused to get any addons and so was always standing too close to me.  I’d move, he’d move.  I’d move again, he’d move again.  I’d move and aww, fuck, now I’m too close to a couple of people and OMG EYEBEAM BLAM LOL RAID DEAD ELEVENTY BILLION DAMAGE TO YOU.

“Why the fuck did we die?”

“BECAUSE SOME SHITHEAD WON’T STAND FUCKING STILL.”

The two seem to go hand in hand.  The people with their little ranged box?  Find a clear spot and stay.  People without it?  Seem to be twitchy as hell.  I can think of two people offhand that are guildmates of mine who don’t have it, and those two people are ones I spent a good bit of the fight adjusting around.  I mean I wouldn’t CARE so much if they had it and stood still!  Then they could find their spot and we could find our spots and it would be okay!  But nooo.  I will NAIL YOUR FEET TO THE GOD FORSAKEN GROUND, PEOPLE.

…and that is your angry healer tank rant of the day.

loltank

Apparently the answer to bringing a rusty tankadin in Naxx25 is to…er…not really let her tank anything at all.  I grabbed the Widow adds, and that’s it.  Otherwise the other two tanks handled it all. 

Pfft!  Meanieheads.

In the end though I salved my pride by bringing in Lyr for the Instructor and showing off my mad MCing skillz (we had a lot of priests, and almost zero experience). 

I have today’s flowchart all finished!…on the tablet at home.  So, later!

Amber’s Weekend Adventures

I didn’t play a lot of WoW over the weekend, though I did manage to sneak in a 25 man Naxxand a 25 man Vault.  Amazing things happened in both.

For the Naxx, I was invited as shadow.  Holy shit.  I got to DPS in a 25 man, guys!  I picked up some nice gear, too-DPS bracers and a dagger (forgot which-it’s a trash drop, and we got two, one right after the other).  Using those two items enabled me to ditch the blue +hit robes I was wearing, so now I wear…my healing robes…to DPS.  I also scored 7.5 pants, which means I can ditch the DPS pants I was wearing for healing and…wear…the shadow pants.  To heal with.  Dude, anyone inspecting me must really scratch their heads sometimes.  Hell, I look at my gear and scratch my head sometimes.

It’s funny.  I have 5/5 t7, of which all but my helm are 7.5.  Of those, 3 of them are from the shadow set-gloves, pants, and helm.  I think it says something about the quirks of gearing a disc priest that this would be the case.  Naturally I’d prefer it if Blizzard just bit the bullet and made three priest sets, but that’s not going to happen.  Instead I’ll be glad that I’m not really interested in the healing 4 piece bonus (greater heal?  if I’m using that much, we’re all in trouble).   I’m also now contemplating using the DPS dagger to heal with, as it’s a nice jump in spell power compared to my Mace of I’m Fucking Tired of Carrying This Thing, aka “That Heroic Nexus Mace.”  Seriously, I’m taking that thing into Ulduar?  REALLY?    I also snagged new boots, Serene Echos, giving me even more crit.  I’m now actually up to a point where I’m happy with it (~25% self buffed).   Am I toting around BiS items?  Only a couple, but I’ve still got some good shit.  I have had to make up for bad loot luck in strange ways here and there (see: inner debate on weapons!), but I’m not exactly a shame to disc priests everywhere, either.   Or even shadow priests.  I hope.

So, the 25 man Vault-Emalon. I had done nothing but wipe on this guy, and at first this group didn’t look to promising.  For one thing I asked the holy priest to stop bubbling and he asked, why?  When I said I benefited more from it, his response was, “But my bubble heals them too!”

Uuuuugh.  After a dismal wipe, several people bailed early…but the people that replaced them seemed to really shift the tide.  While I may not think much of some members of Benediction, for example, a few of them and a few members of Too Drunk To Raid (who ran that Naxx25) and all of a sudden we looked like we had a chance at this.  We had one wipe at 8%, then reformed for another try.

We were doing this with 5 healers-1 PvE disc priest (myself), 1 shadow priest who went PvP disc, the holy priest, and 2 resto shamans.  One resto shaman DC’d.  Another died early on.  I figured we were pretty well screwed but…we kept going.  And going.  The other disc priest called out he was OOM.  I was sitting on maybe 30% mana.  The holy priest was also bordering on OOM.  The only druid we had, the OT, “bear danced” me an innervate and then…died not long after.  So one tank on everything, 3 healers almost all OOM and…

…the fucker died.

It was some seriously INTENSE healing, and ohgoditwasfun.  No loot for me, but hell if I cared.

And last but not least:

If you manage a Heroic: Culling of Stratholme timed run, the mount will go to THE most scrub DPS in the group.  The one who doesn’t even have epic flying.  Mmhmm.  Trufax.

I wasn’t really intending on TRYING for a timed run, or I wouldn’t have brought the idiot.

Musings: Healing Assignments

Dueg wrote a post about how he ended up getting stuck doing healing assignments, and the delicate balancing act that requires.

As I’ve touched on before I’ve ended up with this job, often to my consternation.  Sometimes I’ll be sitting there with Surgeon General open, hem hawing over assignments, when Mach will go, “Okay, pulling!” despite the fact that I…totally did not click on the ready button.  ‘Cause, you know, it’s under my damn addon window.  But whatever.  That’s Steve being a scrub. 

So I know paladins, and I know disc priests.  I know holy priests to an extent, but shamans and druids are my weak point.  Naturally they’re half our healing team.  I do better at knowing my team as individuals-Preamus is an amazingly adaptable disc priest, Yarp can heal the tank all damn day, and Zuki will fail the Ledge Boss if I don’t levitate him.  >.>   ilu, Zuki.  We’ll not speak of the time I failed the ledge boss.  Nope!

Comments you might see in our healer channel:
After Mach pulls and I wasn’t ready: hdsasdasdasdk wing it!
During fights where no real assignments are required: blah blah blah heal stuff and don’t die
and: If my assignments are retarded, or you’re bored, or something, let me know!

In our 25s, there’s generally 3 types of assignments.  You’re on one of the tanks, you’re on the raid, or you’re “floating”.  If you’re floating, that simply means I…didn’t really know what the hell to do with you, and trust your judgement enough to put your heals where it looks like they’re needed.  

I tend to use the holy paladins and the disc priests on tanks (duh), and on fights with spike damage I’ll use the druids to help…even things out, so to speak.  Resto Druid + Disc priest on the Maexxna tank also helps on those “oh shit can’t heal” moments.  Our resto druids do a lot of AoE healing duties because we only have the one holy priest, and our shamwow can’t make every raid.

It’s…interesting, and I’m terribly paranoid about sucking at it (which is nothing new for me).   Of course I haven’t had anyone TELL me I suck at it yet, though I know I need work.  Ron’s been great with making suggestions, at least.

In the quest for more feedback, I’ve posted asking for people to tell me what they like/dislike doing, and so forth.  We’ll see if that actually does any good or not!

I didn’t intend to get landed with this job though, damn it!

Random rants are random.

So last night’s Naxx run was…uh…

…not great.  It started off with Zoja-aka mah Josh-running late, because he hadn’t fully gotten his new computer up and running yet.

“Didn’t he have time between getting home and the raid, Amber?”

Well, yeah, but I took it.  So there.  Josh is a smart man and knows that I win, even over a shiny new computer that gets like 80 fps in Naxx25 (I hate you, Josh).

So anyway, he was installing vent and stuff and running a bit behind.  We also had a couple of no shows, and Steve morphed into CRANKY STEVE.  There’s something about a cranky GM that’s contagious, unfortunately, and I had to…gently remind…one of our officers that yelling shut up over vent wasn’t terribly conductive.  Despite the air of stupid in the raid that night, we weren’t quite that bad. 

Not to say that I was not cranky.  I was cranky, trust me.  Do you know how to make a healer cranky?  Let me tell you a few ways:

-Say sarcastically after a wipe: “Thanks for the heals.”
One of our DPS did this last night, and it’s just as well we only did one boss after that because he entered the No Heals For You Zone.  Where the fuck was the DPS, man?  If you’d killed it faster you totally wouldn’t have needed heals!  It was an accidental double pull in this case (to my understanding-this healer was hanging around the boss for lewtz).  When extra mobs are pulled, who tends to die first?  If you guessed THE HEALERS, then CONGRATS YOU WIN!!!!  Seriously, what the hell?  I again “gently” reminded people not to make those sort of remarks.

-Say, on the Dance Master Boss, that you need cleanses.
No shit?  So do a dozen other people.  Bite me.  
It would go faster if all the healers were actually cleansing, but that’s another kettle of fish.  

Also, touching upon the whole raiding with a significant other topic: I am not his fucking babysitter.  Dating a raid leader and tank apparently has its issues.

Where is he?  What, do I look like a Josh GPS Tracker?  I don’t know-he got up and left the room.  He mentioned getting food, didn’t he?  Then he’s probably in the kitchen!   I don’t feel the need to give minute by minute Josh Updates to the five people who whisper me.  

Is he going to dock his own DKP for being late?  No, he’s totally going to be a douche and abuse the fact that he is Teh DKP Mastah by breaking his own damn rules!  For some reason being asked that irritated the ever living shit out of me.  Actually, I know the reason, and it has to do with people essentially questioning the integrity of my boyfriend.   DIAF.  Yes, I know he’s sometimes a tardbucket.  He’s the Most Awesome Ever Boyfriend, but not always the Most Awesome Ever Raid Leader.  Deal.  Still, he’s not going to abuse the system that way.

Is he alt tabbed again? Yeah, probably.  He’s like a hyperactive little kid sometimes-always has to be doing something.  Seriously, I left him alone in the car once to do something real quick and I came back to find that he’d taken apart his dashboard.  The guy is wickedsmart, but that also means that any idle time-even in raids-finds his attention wandering.   Don’t worry, I am here for you to turn to whenever he doesn’t instantly respond to-wait, what?  No!  Leave me the fuck alone!  I am not his god damned answering service! 

Whatever, I got the Forethought Talisman last night.  Woo!

Roughly What Happened In Healer Channel, As Bids Go In
Me: It’s really hard not to turn around and look at your bids, guys!  XD
Kyr: If you win it…
Me:  >.>
Lyrandre receives item: Forethought Talisman
Me: <.<

Bebeh Spacegoat vs Naxx25

So last night my beloved Spacegoat trotted into Naxx25 for the first time.   I managed to not die a lot, which pleased me greatly.  We cleared 3 wings, and I found Loatheb a much more enjoyable fight to heal as a priest.  For that fight, I shuffle healers around so that there’s one per group (and a spare, in this case). Everyone was responsible for their group and the other healer shored up whoever looked like they needed it.  Prayer of Healing made the job a cinch compared to the method I used as a holy pally, which was “heal the lowest 2/3 and sacred shield the others”.  Whoever said “Oh you can cast holy light and with the glyph, not worry about healing the rest of the group!” is living on some other weird fucking planet.  I’d also penance whoever looked to be in the most danger, though I’d occasionally lose a pulse, it looked like.  Grrr.

It was weird, being the undergeared one.  I blithely ignored the healing meters-we had two excellent trees along with us, anyway, and nothing leaves me more bored than good resto druids.  Our healing team is actually really strong these days and I’m pleased as fuck about it.  Regardless, I hope that the Naxx10 we have planned for this weekend will drop more epics on me.  It’s not that I’m not “fine” for Naxx in the gear that I have (18oo sp, wee!)-just that I got somewhat spoiled by Ambrosyne’s good luck and quick gearing, because the competition for spellpower/crit plate is nothing compared to the same for cloth.  Damn mages!  I find myself reluctant to spend DKP on something that, while an upgrade, might keep me from getting that BiS item that could drop on the next boss…gaaaah.  I need to stop that.

And yes-Ambrosyne is still holy.  With her gear intact.  While she will likely go tankadin once again for me,  just because, she’s been holy for too much of her career for me to permantly put that aside.  But April Fool’s being what it was, I had to toss out something, and I figured that was more believeable than going ret.  ;) 

For now, I’m the only disc priest-Ron is away.  But when he’s back I’ll start experimenting with making the most of having two in a raid.

BoO vs Naxx25

So last night my guild delivered a shiny birthday present to me:

We downed KT.

It wasn’t a pretty, or easy clear.  We accidentally invited one too many DPS and had to ask someone to sit out.  The Ugly Dog ate a lot of zombies.  Zeren failed the Ledge Boss.  Zuki can’t seem to stay alive for more than 5 minutes-I think we keep blithely assuming he’s more familiar with these fights than he really is.  We waltzed into Sapph’s room and didn’t bother with FR beyond my aura-I mean we didn’t use it for 10 mans, right?  Cue the healers shitting bricks and me sobbingly suggesting that we don’t do that ever again for a very long time.   Once at KT, I threatened the raid with bodily harm if I saw any more chained FBs among the ranged (a four person FB among the ranged?!  FAIL).  Mages also learned that Living Bomb procs on Aboms are Very Bad when they bring…a lot more Aboms.  I noticed Ron was standing next to me at one point and was skeered, because one should rightfully fear an asplody hug from the priest with the 24k mana pool.  We raided over an hour past our normal stop time because WE WERE GOING TO KILL KT DAMN IT.  It took three tries, but we did it.

Woo!

Now I get to babble about raiding with the priestly spacegoat, and Amber and Ron’s Creative Ways To Two Disc Heal Our Way Through Stupid.   It should be fun right up there with How to Heal Maly With A Holy Paladin, A Disc Priset, And A Prot Pally!