Dealing With Personal Weaknesses

Everyone has weaknesses in the way they play. I have a myriad of them, but after many years of raiding, I’ve learned how to best counter myself.

I am a creature of habit. Reflexes are my way of forming mental filters and handling complex fights. Once I figure out the rhythm of a fight, I can devote my full attention to doing my best. It’s not unlike learning to drive–at first it’s all OMG THERE’S SO MANY THINGS TO REMEMBER but it becomes second nature before long. I must master the individual layers before I can excel at the whole.

This means that when things change too much I’m the derpiest of derps.  I’m used to working like this, and it’s one reason why I seldom pugged raids  even when I had the time. The constants of a guild raid week in and week out were better for me. I’m self-aware enough to not court failure more than I must. I struggled massively with my guild’s Rags attempts because I only raid every other week, and with two different raid leaders, the strat would literally be different every single time I went. I’ve never felt so unsure of myself as when I was failing left and right on Rags. Thankfully that’s not a situation that comes up much, and after I’ve done a fight the same way a few times, I’m okay. I just need my crutches in place.

There’s a reason I was only in a “top 5 on the server” guild in Vanilla. In 40 mans, who really notices 1 of 7 holy paladins dying? NO ONE.

Suffer from left/right confusion? I know of many people who rely on post-it notes to not only remind them which way is which, but of other assignments as well. I sketch things out on paper on my desk sometimes (ex: THIS SON, dumbface) as a visual reminder.

I couldn’t get through life as a responsible adult without post-it notes.

What are your personal weaknesses, and how do you cope?  Are you a perpetual keyboard turner that remains extra aware of stuff on the floor? Did you used to be a paladin tank who had to install an ad-on to yell when you didn’t have RF up?

Share your failures!

JOHNNY FUCKING WALKER

Amber, did you really go for a shot of Johnny Walker mid raid last night?

Yes.  Yes I did.

Bubble hearth, GO!

I joke about bubble hearthing because it’s just one of those things that comes with being a paladin, but it’s not something that I do. I play on a pvp server and I’m hopelessly terrible at pvp, but instead of bubble hearthing when someone gets a jump on me, I just stick it out. I don’t recall ever using it in instances, except maybe when I’m the only one alive and there are a bunch of ugly mobs who want to give me not nice hugs. Even that’s rare because I’m stubborn and it’s easier to just die and run back than it is to make way for the instance again, at least that was the case until the new dungeon teleport system. Bubble hearthing feels really rude in a way that my beloved Divine Intervention doesn’t, even though they pretty much perform the same function in avoiding repairs.

You see, I suffer from healer guilt. I like to make jokes about letting people die to fix their stupid, but in reality I do my best to keep everyone alive because I’d feel bad if I didn’t. I don’t bail on instance groups after wipes – in part because I want to make things work, and because I would feel guilty about letting another healer stumble into a mess that I left behind. So basically, it takes some real abuse for me to throw up my hands and say “screw it”.

For the first time in a long time, I reached my breaking point. It was Drak’tharon Keep; the tank was rushing but it wasn’t anything unmanageable because RAWR PALADIN MANA POOL (/flex). But after we downed King Dred, the druid tank asks us to wait at the bottom of the stairs. His warrior friend (from the same realm and guild) repeats this, and expounds with “DON’T FOLLOW HIM, DO NOT HEAL” in all caps, I guess so we’d know he was serious. I decided to humor them, and when the druid rounds up about 4 groups and goes splat as he’s pulling them down the stairs (well out of my healing range) I laugh a little and get ready for what’s probably going to be a wipe, because it just wasn’t very likely that I’d be able to keep a dps warrior alive with four packs of angry trolls on him. Like I thought, he dies before I can even get a holy light on him, but all the while he’s freaking out in party chat.

After that he proceeded to call me a dumb cunt.

Bubble hearthing? Was totally warranted. It even felt GOOD.

How Blizzard Ruined Shadow Priests

I have an evil evil plot in the works that I did not get to finish last night…TOMORROW, you shall behold my evil.  Until then, I’m just going to talk about how I am a silly magpie, and how Blizzard nearly ruined shadow priesting for me.

You see, I’m not really….girly.  But I do like things that are bright and shiny, so spells like penance and holy nova are Awesome Fun Toys.  In hindsight, paladins have some of the most disappointing spells EVER.  I mean, okay, Sacred Shield can be kind of shiny, but shouldn’t beacon be a BEACON?  You know?  A BEACON OF LIGHT?  A BRIGHT SHINING PILLAR OF LIGHT?

I’ll never forgive Blizzard for failing me in that regard, just as I’ll never forgive them for what they did to my favorite Shadow Priest toy right next to Mind Sear. 

THEY RUINED DISPERSION.  It used to be that you’d turn into a FUN LITTLE BALL OF DARKNESS!!!!!!  Now you’re just…er…more…dark?  What? 

NO, BLIZZARD.

UTTER FAIL.

I can’t be a bouncing ball of inky evilness now!  This has totally ruined the spell and thus ALMOST RUINED SHADOW PRIESTING for me.

Don’t you DARE mess with my mind sear, or I’m going to have to do something drastic like…GO HOLY for my second spec, and we don’t want THAT to happen ever again.

I AM PUTTING YOU ON NOTICE BLIZZARD.