Posts Tagged open letters

Dear Orb Huggers,

Just in case you thought it escaped my notice, we are watching you.

When you stand still DPSing whatevering as hard as you can and eat orb after orb on Twin Valks, we are watching you.

Why are we watching you?  Well because we are the dutiful healers players, skirting around Bad Orbs and nomming the Good Orbs so that they don’t come nom YOU, oh DPSer Player of the Other Color.   We’re paying attention.  I see you, Orb Huggers!

I see you, and I will find a way to reach through the screen some day and choke a bitch.

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I KNOW ALREADY!

Dear Tank,

I know you need heals.  I see that your green bar is less green than it should be.

I know you have aggro.  There is a red outline around the square with your name in it.

I know you have stacks of the debuff on you, there’s a wee little icon with a wee little number in it on my UI.

In other words, I KNOW, SHUT THE FUCK UP, CLEAR VENT FOR SHIT WE DON’T ALREADY KNOW. 

From now on, any time you say “heal me!” I will repond equally inanely with “TPS the boss!”

No love,
The person who assigned individual healers to each tank, and was assigned to you and doing nothing but heal you…no, really

P.S.,

This isn’t the first time I’ve written a letter just like this for you.  WTF?

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33 Comments

Monday Recap!

Dear Fellow BM Hunters:

We are already the red headed stepchild of hunter specs.  Please do not enforce the bad stereotype by showing up to DPS a Heroic ToC with a tanking pet.  Also, “Is the paladin even holy?”  is not a constructive comment.

>:|

Worms R Not 4 Heroix,
The Hunter with the Devilsaur

Dear FailDK,

71 points in Unholy?

Really?

Is 71 points in ___ that EVER a valid spec for ANYONE?  For ANYTHING?

Baffled,
The Baby DK That Still Knows Better

In other news…

My darling boyfriend made it clear to me that up and coming holy paladins still struggle in 5 man content when he chucked his headset to the floor after several frustrating wipes on Paletress.  Now, Paletress can give my Ulduar geared Priestess hell if we’re lugging alts though, so I can imagine that a group filled with alts and fail pugs was…not exactly pleasant.   When we reformed a bit later with our progression MT it was magically easier.

It was also easier once someone told me I could tranq the renew off the summoned creature.  *coughsAmberisahuntardcoughs* 

Some more lolepix later and he will, hopefully, not be pushed into such rages again.   It’s all about geargeargear for the freshly dinged paladin-ironic, since the heroics to GET you gear will be hard if you’re not going through with people better geared than you.  I just kind of sigh because he two healed a Naxx10 just fine but H ToC was a disaster.  Aoe Damage + Freshly Dinged Paladin = FAILZ.  :(

My dear little hunter has come along nicely-3 days after dinging I broke 3k DPS on Sapph.  I still have a lot of work to do-she needs rep for her head and shoulder enchants, a new cloak, new trinkets (lol greens), a new ring, and the rest of my gear enchanted…but I am not total fail, at least.  There is a dearth of up to date information on raiding as BM for obvious reasons, so I am doing a lot of flailing around on my own.

Lyrandre has done fine so far in her heavy SP/crit, low haste build so far.  At least, we’ve been getting through progression content with me MT healing, and I can’t ask for a better test than that.  Mim was a mess!

Now…to prepare for Yogg!

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16 Comments

No really? Amber gets sarcastic.

WTB Spellcheck

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Imagine all this taking place between a guy who sounds rather stoned, and officers who sound slightly sarcastic.

“I thought we were doing 25s…why aren’t we doing 25s?”

“‘Cause…we only had 16 sign ups?”

“Oh…why don’t people sign up?”

“…I don’t fucking know.”

“They should sign up!  Not signing up is…bad!”

“…”

We really have these conversations with guildies, people.  We really do. 

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lrn2soulshatter

lrn2soulshatter

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Also, it is really hard to heal when my cat is not only in my lap, but resting her paws on my boobs, kneading them, and trying to rub her cheek against my nose.  Yes HELLO Vesta.  I SEE you.  I kind of can’t MISS you. 

Sometimes, you die because I let you.  And sometimes, you die because my cat is letting me know my priorities in life are clearly fucked up…

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lol bye

We had a bunch of new recruits that joined en masse quit lately, because they “didn’t feel included.”  Well now!

I thought it would be beneficial to go over a few helpful ideas to help one and ones friends mesh when joining a larger guild as a group.

1) Don’t all sit in your own vent channel.  Mingle.
2) If you join a raiding guild to raid, you might want to try to sign up for raids. 
3) The message board is not there to look pretty. Use it.

If you proceed to isolate yourselves in your little clique, then you might not feel included. Just sayin’.  Also, when I say sign up for raids, I mean sign up for raids outside of out Naxx25 farm runs.  There’s this stuff called progression content?  That we mostly focus on?  Yeah…sign up for those.  Only two of those people up there ever signed up for Ulduar.  Two!  So all in all, we lost…very little…when they gquit.

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He will...bite...your shin?

They turned…my pet…into…a leper gnome…

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Dear Blizzard Gear Designers,

Did you know that male draenei are barrel chested?  And that female draenei like to stick out their boobs?   …you did?  I see.  Then uh…why didn’t you take this into account for the priest gear?

WTF

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@Arrens and cohorts:

Distinct Lack of Fail Angel

Distinct Lack of Fail Angel on My Part

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in ur past messin with ur mind

in ur past messin' with ur mind

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17 Comments

Dear Pugs

Dear Death Knight Pug,

You were the epitiome of tanking gear =/= tank.  If you’re going to death grip pull, at least death grip the caster.  You had my hunter trapping in Nexus.  Trapping.  In Nexus.  We begged you to pull with DnD but no, the fun of making someone sail through the air was too much for you.  I had to find my mis-direct button for trash pulls.  

You are so lucky that I am a fucking fantastic hunter, buddy!  I have no regrets about annoying you iwth Devilsaur stomp stomp stomp. 

>:|

-No love,
Jamethera the Uber Hunter Who Remembers When CC Mattered

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10 Comments

Letters from Naxx

Dear tanks,

When half your healers are back rezzing the dead, don’t pull the next group.

Cloth costs gold to repair, too,
-the OTHER tank…who was helping to rez because no one in pugs seems to rez, ever…and also because her addon says funny things and she hasn’t seen them all yet

Dear Pugs,

Going around saying things like, “Sup dawg,” and otherwise acting like a 14 year old boy trying to be cool will get you ignored VERY quickly.   Also, anything you say that can even REMOTELY be thought of as a racial slur, even if it’s a part of talking like a “gangster”?  Yeah I’ll report you for that.  Enjoy!

-The tank who was very sad she could not also /ignore you

PS, the guild name Naggaresses United is not clever.  Nope.  Not in the least bit.

Dear Self,

Why is it that you go into a raid and promptly start faceroll tanking, instead of working on that 6969 rotation you researched?  You just…cooldown spam.  “Oh that’s up!”  /whack  “Now that one is!”  /whack.  Do you miss the healer whack-a-mole so much you play cool down whack-a-mole?

Sigh,
-You!

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9 Comments

I put the fun in raiding…wait.

So I was poking through my reader and spotted this post by Kyr.

Ha!

I really do love /rw.

I really do love /rw.

I’d like to say that there’s some reasoning behind the way I explain boss fights. For one thing, nothing drives me battier than explaining a fight normally and then having to tell everyone what they need to do after the fact, individually, because they didn’t pay a lick of attention.  Admittedly even I have to force myself to pay attention when Steve explains something, and half the time I tab out and read about the fight elsewhere if I haven’t already. 

There’s also the fact that sometimes the “official” descriptions can be…lacking.  What’s going to give you the clearer idea: kill Gift of Eonar when they spawn on Freya?  Or kill the green trees? 

I don’t know about you, but I would walk into that fight going “What the hell does a Gift of Eonar look like and OH GOD WHY AREN’T THE ADDS DYING”, which seems to be exactly what happened on our Freya attempts, come to think of it….

Then, of course, there’s the simple fact that…you REMEMBER the funny shit.  You don’t remember your GM droning on and on and on, and it also lightens the mood for the learning wipes to come. 

I also like poking fun at Blizzard.  That’s why I made comments on Hodir like, “Snow is bad, mmmkay, except when it is good.”  Think about it: “Run away from falling snow!  Get away from circles on the ground!  ….unless there’s about to be flash freeze, and then you run ONTO the snow, okay?  Only not too early, ’cause then it throws you across the room.  But not too late, either, ’cause then you freeze.  Oh and the edges?  Don’t count.” 

The only fucking difference between the good snow and the bad snow is the size of the gods be damned circles!  So there I am, strafing, looking at my raid frames,  looking for raid warnings, AND trying to decipher if that’s a big circle or a little circle?  ajhdasjhdajhd. 

I do love the fight though, and once you get the hang of it it’s not difficult.  Unless you’re our rogue, apparently.  Damn floor eaters!

Last but not least, I just enjoy being funny.  Considering the “state of things” for some of us, the financially strained, the worried, the jobless…a little laughter goes a long way.

Now if I could just get Steve to not explain things the boring way right after I explain the fun way, we’d be good!  Though…if they didn’t explain things the boring way, I wouldn’t have an excuse for my silly /rw interjections.  Hmmmm.

Kyr and I seriously discuss upcoming paladin changes.

Kyr and I seriously discuss upcoming paladin changes.

I also joined a Naxx25 put on Lyr to test out Holy.  First off, it’s weird.  Second off, I miss my bubbles.  Third off, the first time I died I totally forgot all about, you know, doing something other than stare at my Fail Angel is dismay. 

Her name is Sue, by the way.

I don’t think that a Naxx pug is the BEST way to test the spec for how I’ll be using it in Ulduar, but it gave me time to feel it out a little.  I have some UI tweaks to make, I think.  We’ll see how it goes tonight in Ulduar, and I do still have my disc spec to fall back on.  I hope that we do really well tonight, so that we have plenty of time to get Hodir down and poke some other keepers on Monday!

 

That Naxx pug was also sad.  So I’ll leave you with a couple of open letters!

Dear Fellow Priest,

Please learn the difference between Mind Blast and Mind Control.  Really.  Please.  Lrn2tooltip.

-Dismayed,
The Other Priest

Dear Men Boys in Pugs,

Let’s say there’s a GIRL in your pug.  Holy shit!!!!  If she happens to mention in passing that it’s really warm in the room she’s in (“brb, need to see wtf is wrong with the AC, it’s too damn hot in here”), that is NOT your cue to /whisper something about how she should take her clothes off!  For one thing, it’s kind of rude, if not creepy, for you to say to a complete stranger.  For another…dude, I’ve already thought of that, mmkay?  Go back to stealing porn.

No love,
OMG A GIRL

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13 Comments