Posts Tagged pugs make me cry inside

Cooldowns: How do you use them?

The other day I went against my “I’m tanking to save myself from their fail”  mantra and…well, healed for one of THOSE tanks.  By THOSE tanks I mean the ones who are slightly undergeared (the switch from Outlands instances to UK is not a very gentle one) and don’t seem aware of this fact. 

Now, spells are broken down into various categories in my head.  I like categories.  My UI is neatly divided up into sections, with each spell or item neatly in its place.  Some of these buttons are internally labeled as “buffs” and can get tossed around whenever.  These include things like Power Infusion.  The spell is nice to have having it on cooldown will never end the world.  It’s usually saved for bosses though because…well…I’m lazy on trash and probably casting Mind Sear anyway.

Other buttons are “oh shit buttons”.   These include my “AMG WE’RE ALL DYING HEAL EVERYONE OMG” Hymn, and even to a lesser extent…my shadow fiend.  My druid’s innervate is conserved the same way.  

Why are fiend and innervate considered oh shit buttons?  Because sometimes bad pulls happen at bad times.  Not having Power Infusion will never matter, but there’s a slim chance that not having my OMNOMNOM MANA ability could be bad.  On my priest this would almost never happen, by my level 70 druid is another story.  I r nub drood.  Plus, between trash pulls I can sit and  drink.  This means that I will sit and drink rather than blowing a cool down.

So if I sit and drink, and you run ahead and pull, I will continue to sit and drink and let you die.  If you yell at me for not using my innervate so I could keep up, I will just eyebrow quirk.  For one thing, if I have to sit and drink 4 pulls into UK, then your tank gear is questionable and I might well ACTUALLY need that innervate when someone blunders into that pat on the stairs, again.  For another, you should have learned to watch your healer’s mana by now.

Am I strange in my habit of “reserving” cooldowns like innervate, even though it has a short cooldown?   Should I be using it even on trash because heaven forbid an instance take 5 minutes longer?

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Why I Tank

I tank on 4 different toons for two reasons.  Well, I do kind of enjoy tanking as well, but that’s beside the point.

1) Faster queues.  Even a healer has to wait one or two WHOLE MINUTES for a group.  What the fuck.
2) OH MY GOD, LOWBIE TANKS SO OFTEN SUCK.

By “suck” I don’t mean just generally fail at getting aggro.  I mean suck as in not even TRYING to have decent gear.  And by decent mear I mean “things even remotely suited for tanking”.

If you are a paladin and your gear consists of ungemmed Kara tanking epics, 1 random Kara epic DPS belt, and half SPELL POWER GEAR, some of which is LEATHER, then FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY WHY ARE YOU QUEUING AS A TANK. 

NO.  BAD PALADIN. 

We wiped on the last boss of Utgarde Keep, twice, because there was no way I could pour my whole mana bar into him and keep everyone else alive at the same time.  I have never mashed all my buttons so hard so fast in my entire tree life.  Only to die. 

I also had a DK in partial SP plate (WHY).   I just…I…what is this I don’t even.

Since I run into many more bad tanks than bad healers, back to bear-LFDing I go.

MY SANITY, I MUST HAS IT.

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Some Bite With My Bark

When I first rolled my druid back in Vanilla, I just wanted to run around as a cat.  I leveled her as a full cat druid into her 30s then dropped her in the dust bin for awhile.  When I picked her back up in Wrath, she got a shiny tree dual spec because I was interested in resto druids, and because DPS queues were a pain. 

…and then I still spent forever waiting for a tank.  I tried tanking in cat spec and that was awful, so I concocted some hybrid bastard spec of CatBeardom and muddled my way through when not waving my branches.

Finally, at 64, I gave up on cat.  I am an AWFUL cat.  I retooled my feral spec for All Bear, All The Time…

…and proceeded to have an aching wrist from doing nothing but frantically spamming my swipe button.  That lovely rotation I researched?  Only for bosses, apparently.  If I do anything on trash other than “roar + maul/swipe macro spam” then boom, loose mobs everywhere.  I’m glaring at you, mages and warlocks and death and decay happy death knights.

My lacerate button sits on my bar, mostly unloved.

I like bear tanking–like my paladin, it seems a little more forgiving to idiocy (both my own, and on behalf of others).  On the other hand, I have multiple o snap buttons like my warrior.  Psych (as she is now known) seems likely to make it to 80 at this point.  Will she tree, or bear, or both?  That is the question…

Of course, the name Psychiatree is cute on a tree and a little odd on a bear…

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Special Cookie of the Week

I’m well familar with fail pugs, especially now that my tree is in that span of levels that throws shiny new DKs at me.

I’ve zoned in, in cat form, and had them pull before I could switch specs.  Or regain mana.  Or even switch to the proper gear.  I’ve had them ignore my pleas for mana, chain pull as I try to drink, and then die and leave group in a huff.  That’s almost normal for me at this point.  I even had all of that in one group yesterday, but that’s not what I’m really posting about today…because that was not the Crowning Moment of Fail.

No, the crowning moment of fail came at the end of the instance, when I rolled on–and won–a ring.

O.o

o.O

O.O

>.<

What the fuck?!  Man, I wish I was healing you with tree punches…to the face.  It’s one thing to not know the nuances of classes I don’t play.  I don’t even know the nuances of other specs of classes I DO play.  But to insist that a resto druid doesn’t use spell power?   What?  Where have you been, sirrah? 

“lol omg your gonna pull that one”
That one what?  Have other people told you that rest druids use spell power before?  Have you stopped to consider that IT MAY BE BECUASE THEY’RE FUCKING CASTERS AND USE FUCKING SPELLPOWER?

“I got a 80.”  I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING, FUCK YEAH.

/boggle

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Tanking Misadventures

If you want to know just how much of a fail tank I really am, you need to see me on Lyestra.  There’s something about flailing around as a warrior that is great for destroying any WoW-related ego I have. 

I am-at least, by how I measure such things-an inexperienced tank.  I leveled my paladin as holy, only picking up tanking after acquiring a fairly decent set of gear when Kara was on farm.  I spent some time tanking a few heroics and Kara before I transferred to Azglor…where Steve was cruel and threw me into SSC OTing. 

I had my prot warrior to 80 in those days, but she never even set foot in a heroic.  Neglected alt was neglected.

When the pre-Wrath patch hit and fubar’d all my tanking gear (that oh so carefully juggled combination of tanky stats and spell power), I went back holy,only picking prot back up well into Wrath. 

I’m not sure that such a sporadic, mostly raid-based career as a perpetual OT was the best way to go.  I like to think that I don’t suck…on my paladin.  My warrior, however, seems to be a constant flail fest of lost aggro.   Maybe this is just because I’ve never geared up as a tank before.  My paladin always started with a collection of hoarded epics.  Lyestra has started from scratch so to speak, and may be suffering for it.

This shaky tanking career is probably why things like this are terrifying:

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg!  Performance anxiety, performance anxiety!  This is only an alt!  What am I doing!

I felt immensely clever for things like dropping consecrate in one alcove and then running to another so that I could easily pick up two of the three spawns right off the bat.  It doesn’t take much to make me happy, though.  >.> 

We cleared all the way through Saurfang…albiet barely.  Saurfang was one of those post-enrage, one paladin left alive, bubbled and flailing wildly type kills.  I’ll take it, though!  Thank you, Pity Buff!

Of course as fail of a tank as I am, I know that certain behavior is uncalled for.  Let’s say, for example, that you are invited to tank for a weekly raid run.  The group consists mostly of a particular guild.  The other tank, who is a member of that guild, tells you to tank the adds.

Do you politely say okay?

Do you politely say okay even while inwardly bitching about how add duty sucks sweaty donkey balls?

Either of those is fine.  The following, however, is not:

And we’re kicking you from the fucking raid!  Good night, Fivestar douchecanoe!  Thanks for calling us all typical fucking children, you typical small dicked twatwaffle!  Enjoy your wasted raid lock-out!  I only regret not turning on trade in time to wield my rapier wit against your fail whining.

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How To Not Look Like A Useless Git In Heroics

1) Gem your fucking gear. 
Look, we’ve all gotten a new peice and looked at our funds and cringed.  In the very least, toss a blue-quality gem in there.  If you don’t have the funds to gem it yet, then…don’t wear it.  If I look at you and see multiple ungemmed pieces, though, I’m going to be slightly irked in your direction.  I don’t care if it’s “just a heroic”, that’s plain fucking lazy.  Dailies, go do them for golds.

1b is naturally ENCHANT your shit (at least, your good epic shit).  Even if you get +8 stats instead of +10 because +10 is OMG exepnsive, it shows some effort on your part.   If you don’t enchant your ilevel 200 gear…okay.  But your 245 pants?  Proooobably worth at least putting something on.  Some day you might want to do something more than get carried through shit.

2) Interrupt your chain heroics to repair, or you might end up looking kind of dumb like me

3) Ditto that but with ammo and reagents.

4) Don’t forget the part where you at least try to spec, gear, and perform with some semblence of knowledge.   Those can be an evolving process, but seriously?  EMPTY GEM SOCKETS ARE AN EASILY SOLVED PROBLEM.

This post brought to you by lingering butthurt over losing the polearm to a huntard with full…ungemmed…t9.  But also laughing at myself (see point 2).

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Bubble hearth, GO!

I joke about bubble hearthing because it’s just one of those things that comes with being a paladin, but it’s not something that I do. I play on a pvp server and I’m hopelessly terrible at pvp, but instead of bubble hearthing when someone gets a jump on me, I just stick it out. I don’t recall ever using it in instances, except maybe when I’m the only one alive and there are a bunch of ugly mobs who want to give me not nice hugs. Even that’s rare because I’m stubborn and it’s easier to just die and run back than it is to make way for the instance again, at least that was the case until the new dungeon teleport system. Bubble hearthing feels really rude in a way that my beloved Divine Intervention doesn’t, even though they pretty much perform the same function in avoiding repairs.

You see, I suffer from healer guilt. I like to make jokes about letting people die to fix their stupid, but in reality I do my best to keep everyone alive because I’d feel bad if I didn’t. I don’t bail on instance groups after wipes – in part because I want to make things work, and because I would feel guilty about letting another healer stumble into a mess that I left behind. So basically, it takes some real abuse for me to throw up my hands and say “screw it”.

For the first time in a long time, I reached my breaking point. It was Drak’tharon Keep; the tank was rushing but it wasn’t anything unmanageable because RAWR PALADIN MANA POOL (/flex). But after we downed King Dred, the druid tank asks us to wait at the bottom of the stairs. His warrior friend (from the same realm and guild) repeats this, and expounds with “DON’T FOLLOW HIM, DO NOT HEAL” in all caps, I guess so we’d know he was serious. I decided to humor them, and when the druid rounds up about 4 groups and goes splat as he’s pulling them down the stairs (well out of my healing range) I laugh a little and get ready for what’s probably going to be a wipe, because it just wasn’t very likely that I’d be able to keep a dps warrior alive with four packs of angry trolls on him. Like I thought, he dies before I can even get a holy light on him, but all the while he’s freaking out in party chat.

After that he proceeded to call me a dumb cunt.

Bubble hearthing? Was totally warranted. It even felt GOOD.

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