Posts Tagged rant

Help Yourself

I don’t mind helping guildies, I really don’t.  In fact, I think some of our noobs are adorable (Shootnmoove?  He reminds me of myself as a nub hunter…aww).  But when you ask for help (how I gem 4 pally tank?) and I send you to a lovely link (gemming in flowchart form is just epic)…then I’m going to get cranky when a few days later it is once again, how I gem 4 tank?

/headdesk

/headdesk

/headdesk

I have no trouble finding good resources for you, but then you had damn well better USE them!  I’m not going to answer the same question 5 times.   Two times, maybe, because we’ve all been too lazy to tab out, but then it had better be “Stam/avoidance, right?”  rather than flat out “how i gem!!”

Small rant aside, now to lol up your Monday:

Eviserate may be the One and Only Rogue I like, but that doesn’t save him from being made fun of.

,

7 Comments

Thoughts on Gearscore

I don’t know what my gearscore is.

I don’t care what my gearscore is.

I don’t ask anyone what their gearscore is. 

Gearscore doesn’t tell you what someone’s skill level is.  It doesn’t tell you how much DPS they can actually do.  It doesn’t tell you that they’re not a douchebag.  It doesn’t tell you that they know how to gem, or spec, or enchant what gear they do have.  It doesn’t tell you how much thought they’ve put into everything.

In other words, it doesn’t tell you a single.  Damn.  Thing-except how big your penis is and how many emblems you’ve farmed tormenting pugs in random heroics.

And your penis is not helping me out here.

I’d much rather take a look at someone’s gear and take a look at their enchants, gems, and general gear choices.  If I see a DK with a SP gem, then I know I’m in trouble in a whole different way than “oh he only has a GS of 2”.  There’s a difference between recently dinged and ignorant.  I’d like to know what I’m really dealing with, you know? 

So in short: gearscore can go die in a fire.

, , , , ,

49 Comments

5 Things Your Pug Healer Wants You To Know

/wave to Altadin for the tank version.
There’s also a general DPS, mage, and DK version.  I copied first though, damn it!

1. Just because I have good gear does not mean you can be stupid.
Yes, my priest is solidly decked out.  No, this doesn’t mean you can do whatever the hell you want.  I can keep a tank up through most things a 5 man can dish out, but if the DPS is standing in bad?  Uh, no.  I’m a high crit, low haste disc priest healer set up for raid tank healing.  I am not set up to deal with all 5 of you trying to die at once.  Cut it the fuck out.

2. If you insist on running too far ahead of me, running out of range/line of sight, don’t get upset when you die.  It’s your own damn fault.

3. My mana bar is not your fucking buffet table.  I don’t want to have to run in after a wipe, buff, go OOM, drink, then have to heal you lazy gits and drink again.  Half the time we don’t have a mage so I’m using purchased water, so you can purchase some fucking food.  My own guildies were doing this to me last night and I wanted to slap them.  The only person who can get away with that level of lazy is Cranky Tank.  Unless you, too, are fucking your healer, don’t do it!  And then you’d better be good, because lazyness plus lousy sex is just fucking terrible.

4. Don’t pull aggro on mobs, then feign/soul shatter/cock ice block next to your healer.  I don’t want it, either, you dipshit!

5.  Don’t stupidly pull aggro on the waves of trash on the Two Dudes fight in HoR.
‘Cause then you almost die, and I panic and heal you, so they aggro on ME and then I die and we wipe AGAIN and just what the fuck hold on a god damn second will you?  Kthx.

BONUS 6. When it says “stop DPS” then you should STOP DPS…because usually, continuing DPS means you’re killing one of your team mates.  Seriously WTF?  No.  Here’s the secret: I CAN heal through stupid some of the time, I just choose not to. Okay?  Okay.  Don’t make me lose my penance button.

, , , , , , , ,

37 Comments

How To Express An Opinion Without Being A Dick II

Dear Children Masquerading As Raiders And Even Officers In My Guild,

Can you grow the fuck up?  Look, I realize that So and So has an opinion you don’t agree with.  I realize that he has all the tact of a 16 year old in the middle of an emo fit with his parents sometimes.  But that doesn’t mean that you have carte blanche to turn around and act 5, instead. You can damn well put your epeens away and cut out the snide remarks.  It doesn’t help, and it doesn’t make you look better, nevermind right.  And when two of you are officers and in the middle of a raid, you really have no fucking excuse.

God damn, people.

Maybe said person needs to be removed from the guild, maybe he just causes too much strife because we’re not a good fit for him but, damn.  Again, not permission to act like children yourselves.   You can take your dodge/parry/stam stacking bloodshed somewhere else, and not during raid time.

RAWR.

-Angry Healer with the GM Hat

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

15 Comments

Dear Orb Huggers,

Just in case you thought it escaped my notice, we are watching you.

When you stand still DPSing whatevering as hard as you can and eat orb after orb on Twin Valks, we are watching you.

Why are we watching you?  Well because we are the dutiful healers players, skirting around Bad Orbs and nomming the Good Orbs so that they don’t come nom YOU, oh DPSer Player of the Other Color.   We’re paying attention.  I see you, Orb Huggers!

I see you, and I will find a way to reach through the screen some day and choke a bitch.

, ,

11 Comments

Raid from Hell

It was one of those nights.  Cranky Tank is recovering from the flu and Fearless Leader is coming down with it.  Some raiders seemed to have left their brains at home and stupid wipes were had.  The loot gods were not kind.  RL stress frayed tempers.  I, ever the emotion sponge, soaked it all up and expoloded it right back at everyone (my response to one tank’s “heal me!” was “TPS the boss!”).

Normally, I try to keep spirits up with Amber’s Patended Random Silly, but even that was shot down.  Steve has been refusing to give me assist, which means I can’t /rw spam.  Aside from making me a very sad panda, this also puts a crimp on my role as healing lead.  Vent can get chaotic, and even my healers with perfect hearing can’t always catch what I need them to, nevermind the one without.  Whisper and raid chat can be lost, too.  Let’s face it, /rw makes a noise and splashes red text on your screen for a reason.  There’s some logic behind my request beyond my desire to be a dork, like telling Tank Healer #3 to cover Tank #2 because Tank Healer #1 decided to stand in front of a worm (I’m fucking brilliant some days, let me tell you). 

I have my other gripes, as well.  I disagree with having seven healers for ToC.  How about we make our people learn to not hug opposite color orbs, and other such lazy dumbfuckery?  What about dispells?  Can you learn to do those?  We have some damned fine healers and it doesn’t take much for boredem to set in.  We did fine with 6 healers before when I decided to be a bitch and ignore Steve, and we’ll do fine with 6 again.  The most fun I’ve had in ToC was one ToC 10 with one of our more undergeared healers.  My mana bar was screaming!  It was work!  Holy shit!  I LOVED IT.  …you want us to have HOW MANY HEALERS in a 25 man?

One of our tanks also has aquired the Grate On Amber’s Nerves debuff.   This is…not cool.  It applies stacks, and after so many stacks I just want to scream.  In fact, he gets a post all on his own!…again.

, , , , , , , , ,

21 Comments

ToC + Shadow Spec + Amber = Angry

Technically, all 3 of my 80s can/are DPS.  We’ll ignore Ambrosine’s ret spec, though, because I can still muster nothing but fail in that area. 

That leaves me with Jamethera the BM hunter, and Lyrandre and sometimes shadow priest.

Now in  Ulduar, my hunter flailed around a bit because there are fights in there that are Not Very Nice towards pets, especially not one’s first time in.  If I’d had a bit more experience in there I’m sure I could have learned how to control Suicidal Mutt for each fight and thus been more effective, but…well, it is still not an instance kindly disposed towards BM hunters.  I did, however, shadow deeps in there more than once and while I didn’t top the meters I did over 3k and held my own.  My priest doesn’t know what top of the meters means, anyway.  The best DPS I’ve seen as shadow was 4.9 on Ony (LOL MIND SEAR). 

Now take ToC.  I was able to bring my hunter into…well, one.  But during that one, I was solid DPS and my pet didn’t die at all what the hell.  Now when I say “solid DPS” I mean “I was #2 on damage done in a group with admittedly inferior composition”.  So, you know, I was some of the least sucky of a group of suck.  BUT, that was without any of the buffs that actually make me Not Suck.  Anyway.  I WASN’T REALLY THAT TERRIBLE.  Last night though, due to…odd sign ups, we shifted shit around and I was shadow all night*.

I considered myself lucky if I broke 3k.  I was doing the DPS my hunter can do in a favorable FIVE MAN in a TWENTY FIVE MAN RAID.  What the FUCK.  ToC?  Lots of target switching, lots of wanting to burst things down quickly.  Shadow priests?  No burst.  None.  I can’t even switch targets and instantly have full DPS, no, I MIGHT hit my full DPS potential by the time the thing is half or three-quarters dead.  MIGHT.

I sat there and said to myself, “Self, your lesser geared hunter would have done better in here.  What the HELL.”

It wasn’t just one or two fights that there unfriendly to my DPS.  It was ALL OF THEM.  ALL of them were either “switch targets repeatedly!” fights or “lol get interrupted by crap!” fights.  THE ENTIRE GOD DAMNED ISNTANCE GIVES MY SHADOW PRIEST THE MIDDLE FINGER.

Now I’m not the best shadow priest ever, and I’m sure there are shadow priests out there who will read this and go “Well YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.”  But there are others who dual spec shadow in the guild, others who are better than me…and suddenly no one wants to go shadow anymore. 

 /cranky

Fuck you too, ToC!  Fuck you too!

 

*So we had a holy priest go tankadin, and a warrior tank go holy paladin, and a tankadin go holy, a disc priest go shadow (because 4 tank healers is overkill).  If that sounds confusing, it was.  There was logic (mostly related to gear) in there somewhere though, I swear.

, , , , ,

22 Comments