Posts Tagged The Amazing Ron is Amazing

Why My Guild Is Awesome

Someone-I think it was Ashley/Mikata, our intrepid KittyTree-decided to dub me the guild HR lady.   Someone then established a Complaint Box thread on our guild forums, and Ron submitted this lovely gem:

I could totally see Amber as the HR lady so long as the below is met.

Requirements:

A “bleep” buzzer to cover up the swear words when the stupids ask questions. The buzzer must be able to sound for at minimum 20 consecutive seconds.

OSHA will officially stand for ‘Oh Shit, Hide it’s Amber’.

Personal space may be breached only by the ‘Stupid Stick’.

Complaints can be logged and will be promptly answered by her middle finger. If the middle finger is out ill or on vacation, the back of her hand will assume all responsibilities.

For those who would like to see their name in red on ‘the list’, please place the palm of your hand near your nose. Place the list in the open space between your nose and palm. Close your eyes… < whack > … see red? … we’re done here.

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I so called it.

Yesterday was egg hatching day.  We were still assembling the raid so I popped open Lyrandre’s egg to recieve a White Tickbird.  It’s not unsual for me to get Tickbirds out of both eggs every damn week, so I did my typical EXPLOSION OF CAPS in raid chat for humors sake.   FUCKING TICKBIRDS.  ALWAYS GODS BE DAMNED TICKBIRDS.

“You’re never going to get it, Amber,” said Ron, sagely.   He’d returned to help us finish off our Ulduar.

“Oh sure I will,” I quipped.  “I’ll just get it on the wrong toon!”

I flip over to my darling noob tankadin and crack open her egg.

I …’d  IRL.  It’s totally possible, trust me.

“I FUCKING TOLD YOU,” I said in guild, confusing the hell out of everyone who hadn’t seen raid chat.  “I FUCKING CALLED IT.”

“What?”

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In Which Amber Makes Sadfaces

See the banner up there now?

…wait you don’t?  GTFO your feedreader, scrub, and look at my new banner.  Do you see the dual Fail Angels there?  One of ’em is me.  One of ’em is Ron.  That’s from a screen shot taken at our last Ulduar.

And it’ll be the last time we declare our LOL FAIL together because he’s left the game.  In fact he /gquit whilst I was in Naxx last night, and it’s a good thing that all I have to do to tank is slap my 1-4 buttons around to tank…

I leeched disc priest knowledge off him when I was leveling my wee drae.  To say I’ll miss him is an understatement, as it always is.  I’ll survive of course, but I can’t say that the raid will fare as well!

Zuki and Kyr will just have to get more of my Whispers of Rage!!! now.

THIS DOES NOT EXCUSE YOU FROM FUTURE GUILD GATHERINGS RON.

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Letters from Ulduar

Dear ___: Open Letters To My Guild Mates, or Why Amber Goes Insane

Dear DPS on Iron Council,

Don’t stand over there.  I can’t heal you.  I kind of need to stand near my tank, and my tank kind of needs to stand over here.

Okay, so you’re now standing in such a way that my green box is lit up.  I can heal you and you can stop bitching about not getting heals.  Cool!  …do you wanna come closer for Power Infusion? 

Sometimes we’re kinda busy, and when dickhead over there refuses to move out of the blue circle and starts shitting lightning everywhere, it’s…well…ouchy.  But our holy priest has this nifty thing called a lightwell!  It’s sitting right there!  …why is the holy pally the only one near it?

…I still can’t reach you with PI, you know.  Oh well, your DPS loss.  I’ll keep it for myself.

…why the fuck are you all the way on the opposite side of the room again?

Weeping silently, on the inside,
-your healer

 

Dear DK Tank,

I’m standing on the left.  You keep running away from Overload (or whatever)…to the right.  WHY?
I have a heart attack every time your box goes gray.

Weeping less silently on the inside now,
-your healer

 

Dear Josh,

My beloved.  You have tanked for me for years.  I am comfortable with your ways.  I know you are a clever, clever tank-one who will use his cooldowns, not run out of range, wait for my mana, and gather up all the adds that love to come give me hugs.

…WHY DID YOU QUIT AND LEAVE ME TO DEAL WITH THESE PEOPLE ALONE?

Is well past weeping and now sobbing,
-your healer*
*this is a post in and of itself

 

Dear GM,

No, I don’t want to heal without replen on Iron Council.
No, I really don’t.
Yes, my mana bar does get kicked in the nuts.
Yes, it is kind of important. 
No, I don’t think that having the Surv hunter go MM to help the DK tank kick that damn boss out of the blue runes will make up for the lack of replen. 
The whole instance is designed ar-
I JUST DON’T WANT TO.
/tantrum

Angrily,
-your healer

 

Dear fellow priest,

Thank you, Ron, for displaying mana regen meters and explaining to Mach why no replen is Bad.  I will refrain from killing people for yet another day.

Love and butterflies,
-the bubble dispenser

 

And last but not least, a tidbit from the Hodir attempts:
“Why the hell did you die like that, Atropus?”
“…oh!  I wasn’t jumping!”
“…”
“I’M BLOGGING THAT.”

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I did it!

As you can see, I finally updated my banner, and you’re no longer staring at a level 73 Lyr casting penance.  As much as I loved the penance shot, it was pretty hard to replicate!  Instead I used one of my many “I levitated in this place that looked pretty” shots.   Ambro just posed for portraits in Stormwind, since that suits her…and I was too lazy to fly her back out to Stormpeaks. 

Of course, most of you are probably reading this from a feed and can’t “see” that I made it pretty.  In that case, you miss half the fun of this blog, which is reading whatever crazy thing I have written under my title this time!

It’s gone from “yo dawg, I heard you like to bubble, so I put bubbles in your bubbles so you can bubble while you bubble” to “Now Available: Bubbles Laced With Crack (AKA: I Never Get To Use My DPS Spec)” if you were wondering. 

Other Randomness:
Here is a screenie of a Noth wipe.  I believe the problem is clearly illustrated in the recount screen…  Contrary to my own flow chart I did not “disconnect” but rather went Angry Healer on people for not dispelling, and we moved on.  Then Preamus won the hat…and ticketed it to me, ridding me of the last of my Naxx10 gear.  I think I now owe him my soul.  Seriously, unselfish guildies are WIN. 

Here’s more of the SS I used in my banner:

Also, did you notice yet that Blizzard wants to turn paladins into prostitutes of the Light?  They totally do, as evidenced by what I saw when checking out a tasty bit of pally gear (as I’m still prone to doing):

And of course now Ky CAN see what it looks like on me.  So there you go, Ky…all the reason in the world to roll draenei pallys.  As a female I should perhaps be more insulted by the rampant objectification of my gender, but…but….she’s so hot!

…anyway.

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