My pokemans, let me show you them.

Named Softpaw, after that thing my cat does to my face when I'm not petting her.

Named NotLoque, because...well...he isn't.

AYearLate, because he is. Mother fucker.

Fuzzbutt. What ELSE was I going to name a bear?

I never fucking see that damned spirit b–OH SHIT

I really should have been editing my novel last night.  Instead I was derping around WoW, leveling my shaman (53!), and digging on my Other DK (almost 73!).  Elemental shamans shoved into that many BoAs are just WRONG. 

I logged onto my hunter to check the two Loque spawns I keep her at, then logged off.

After staring at my log in screen a moment (psst, Blizz, can we hurry up and make it so I can rearrange my character list NOW, thanks!) I logged back in and decided to check the other spawns.

All the while I’m on vent, babbling at Pix about how I HATE THE HUNT FOR SPIRIT BEASTS and how whoever decided to make 7 spawns for Loque needs to be kicked in the balls, and how it was annoying because I’d found ALL OF THE OTHER SPIRIT BEASTS and even ALL OF THE OTHER SHOLOZAR RARES while casually derping around but not Loque, nooo.

I overshot a spawn and circled back.

Waaait a minute, that cat isn’t yellow–

Do you know that adreneline dump you get when you’ve been hunting something FOREVER and your NPC scan/Silver Dragon/whatever flashes across your screeen?  If you don’t you clearly don’t play a hunter.  Anyway, I SPAZZED. 

Oh man, where the fuck is my tame button?

Trap? What trap?  Oh god.  I simply dropped down and started taming, no trap, aggroing other cats, what the fuck ever oh my god.

And now, an expansion and some later, I have Loque.

…I guess I should level my hunter now, huh.

…and come up with a name.

Camping Loque, FOREVER

I want to find whoever thought it would be an awesome idea to give spirit beasts multiple spawn points and beat them soundly.

Back in The Day, I camped Humar.  He had a 7 hour spawn timer but only appeared in one place.   He was easy to camp–you sat under the tree and waited.  If someone else tamed him, you knew it and could wander off until later. 

You don’t have that luxury with Loque.  Maybe he spawned somewhere else and was killed, or was tamed, but you’d never know.  You just know that you must do laps around Sholozar, forever, because when you leave is when he will spawn.  You know it. 

I spent a good 5 hours of my snow day doing periodic laps around the basin between camping my favorite spot.  Once when I was tabbed out reading I heard SilverDragon ping.  Oh my god! He sp–

No.  No, King Krush apparently spawns in that location, too.  Hopes dashed and anger riled, I tamed out him of spite.

Just in damn for another hunter to swoop down and say “Gwuh”.  Oops.

I’M SORRY I HAD TO TAME HIM ME MADE ME ANGRY.  NOW HE SHALL FOREVER BE FORCED TO DO MY BIDDING.

By this point, years into my casual hunt, it’s comically exasperating.  I have tamed–or passed up the chance to tame–every other Wrath spirit beast.  I did exactly one pass searching for Gondria and found the other two by accident.  I’ve stumbled across the other two rares in Sholozar.  Yet the beast I actually search for eludes me.

/wrist

ETA:  Psst!  Mortigan the lock is back, and he’s not even a dirty hordie anymore!  Go say hi!

Why Spirit Beasts Are Rage Inducing

Despite my new Survival off spec, I am still BM4LYFE.  The one pet that I have been after, for months and months and months…has been Loque.  I have seen him once, moments after he was tamed by another hunter.   

Why Spirit Beasts Are Rage Inducing #1
There’s several (SEVEN FOR LOQUE OH MY GOD WHY) mother fucking spawn points scattered across a large zone for all but 1 of them.

Seriously, Blizz?  I once spent a good, oh I don’t know, 7 hours camping Humar back in the day when he was more than just a pretty skin.  It wasn’t too onerous becuase I sat in one spot and entertained myself with friends while we waited.  He had only one spawn–I’d know the moment he popped and also the moment I missed him, if someone else beat me to the punch.  Even if I didn’t get him it wasn’t the end of the world–I’d have a good idea of when to come back and could safely wander off in the meantime and pretend to have something better to do.

You can’t do that with the spirit beasts.  Take Loque.  There’s so many spawn points for him, scattered so widely across the zone, that you can miss him and not even know it.  Did someone just tame him?  Are you wasting your time with no chance for him to spawn?  Did you move on just a smidge too soon?  The other hunter in the zone left–did he get him, or give up?  Did that belfadin who has been killing you repeatedly while he mines kill him out of spite?

You can never tell…so YOU MUST KEEP LOOKING. 

….FOREVER.

Why Spirit Beasts Are Rage Inducing #2

You’ve been hunting for hours.  Finally, you spot him–your moonfiring quarry.  You start to tame and….oh no.  Oh no.  FUCK.  FUCK.  GOD DAMN IT ALL TO HELL.

Tames can be fucked with.  People are jerks.  End of story.

Why Spirit Beasts Are Rage Inducing #2.5

Making Loque part of the Frostbitten achievement was a cruel move, Blizzard.  Fuck you sideways.

Why Spirit Beasts Are Rage Inducing #3

You will find and tame every spirit beast but the one you want.

I’m 2/4, if you’re wondering.