Posts Tagged what is this I dont even

Things I Learned: Elemental Invasion

1) Howling Blast will attract Many Elementals.  Many Elementals will kick my ass.
2) The Archbishop is a useless git who doesn’t heal or ANYTHING.
3) Solt stood in fire as DPS.  lol.  It does indeed hurt and will indeed kill you.
5) Solt stood in fire as tank.  lol some more.  …oh shit I’m tanking what is this halp.  :(
6) …Howling Blast still attacts Many Elementals and Many Elementals still kick my ass.
7) Popping Pillar of Ice means that either the boss will drop Bad on me, or the boss will move.  Sigh. 
8) HOOOOWWWWWLLLING BLAAAS-FUCK!
9) The run from the graveyard into SW is actually kind of annoying.

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Amber’s Opinions on Paladin Tanking

After running a few heroics to get a hang of that whole “hunter focus” thing, I went ahead and threw Ambrosine together for prot and had a go at tanking.

….LOL.

What the fuck is this holy power shit?  It’s “like combo points”?  You realize I don’t play a rogue because I HATE COMBO POINTS, right?  Yes I know I played a cat, but NOTICE THE PAST TENSE. 

Okay, so, um, I’ll throw down a consecrate and–HEY.

HEY GUYS ALLOW ME TO HIT HE THINGS WITH MORE THAN SHINY ON THE FLOOR BEFORE YOU ATTACK, KTHX.

Okay, so…969?  Right?  Wait, 3?  939?  I…amg  /flails at buttans

HAY HUNTERS.  WTF.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T GET MISDIRECT TO WORK?  FOR FUCKS SAKE.  WELL LEARN TO ASSIST THE TANK THEN NUBS.

Shiny!

Shiny!

…oh there go mobs again.  Hm.  RF is up, right?  RF is up.

Shiny!

Shiny!

…oh there go…I swear to god, HUNTERS.  I AM LETTING YOU TANK THAT.

Shiny!

Shiny!

…heeeeey, I haven’t gone OOM!  Sweet.

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Some Jokes Never Get Old

Oh, GChat.

achloryn:  idk if the word was ever passed on, but last night went fine and dandy. Arthas took us 3 tries, but we got him just after 10 last night.
 me:  Sweet!
Oasic has his Kingslayer? 
achloryn:  yep, he does
as does al
 me:  Yay!
 achloryn:  and… someone else i think who didn’t have it? i forget
oh! Temnyi! rofl
 me:  lol
Now it’s my paladins turn!!!!
…I kid.
 achloryn:  tell you what
let’s help soltaris get his ret gear a goin
and you can tank with me next week
 me:  Oh god
 achloryn:  you know what that means right?
you get all the fun assignments…
abom duty.. shadow bitch.. kiting ooze..
 me:  Hey, OT Bitch is my specialty and always has been.
 achloryn:  tbh
MTing putricide is harder, and a lot less fun than the abom
 me:  I get to suck and play with balls, I’m okay with this
I mean
 achloryn:  ……….LOL

ETA: When talking about the above convo with someone else:

me:  hehehe
Linedan:  that’s OK, somehow one of our RLs’ husbands got on Vent last night and explained that the Frozen Throne is actually just a pile of dried Arthas semen
me:  …oh my god
 Linedan:  yeah, he’s got a stash of Playghoul right behind it
and, y’know
not much else to do up there
 me:  I…guess?
 Linedan:  which led me to snark
“What happened guys?  I thought we had that attempt going good.”
“Eh, the warlock pulled agro and got hit by Money Shot right in the face.”
 me:  …lol!
 Linedan:  “Shit.  Warned her about standing there.”
“I’m not standing in bad, I’M FUCKING COVERED IN IT EWWWW”
 me:  I now can’t think of Defile the same way
 Linedan:  my job is done here
/fingerbuff
 me:  and now we know why he has all the valks up there at his beck and call
Really, he’s just trying to drop us off the ledge becuase we interrupted him
 Linedan:  makes you wonder just what he’d do to Tirion frozen in that iceblock
<echo> “Squeal like a hog, paladin.”  </echo>
 me:  …
 Linedan:  what?  maybe he caught a late-night showing of Deliverance and got some ideas
 Linedan:  who are we to judge, right?
 me:  LK fight, ruined forever
Linedan:  I’m why you can’t have good things.
 Linedan:  your new guild name, “Covered in Bad”
 me:  amg

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OT: You’re in trouble now.

Twitter can be dangerous.  It introduces me to manyu things I might not have stumbled across on my own…things like this: the Periodic Table of Swearing.  Oh man.  Oh man.  Forget twatwaffle, I’m now going to be calling people a COCK GARAGE.

COCK GARAGE.

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Why I Tank

I tank on 4 different toons for two reasons.  Well, I do kind of enjoy tanking as well, but that’s beside the point.

1) Faster queues.  Even a healer has to wait one or two WHOLE MINUTES for a group.  What the fuck.
2) OH MY GOD, LOWBIE TANKS SO OFTEN SUCK.

By “suck” I don’t mean just generally fail at getting aggro.  I mean suck as in not even TRYING to have decent gear.  And by decent mear I mean “things even remotely suited for tanking”.

If you are a paladin and your gear consists of ungemmed Kara tanking epics, 1 random Kara epic DPS belt, and half SPELL POWER GEAR, some of which is LEATHER, then FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY WHY ARE YOU QUEUING AS A TANK. 

NO.  BAD PALADIN. 

We wiped on the last boss of Utgarde Keep, twice, because there was no way I could pour my whole mana bar into him and keep everyone else alive at the same time.  I have never mashed all my buttons so hard so fast in my entire tree life.  Only to die. 

I also had a DK in partial SP plate (WHY).   I just…I…what is this I don’t even.

Since I run into many more bad tanks than bad healers, back to bear-LFDing I go.

MY SANITY, I MUST HAS IT.

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Randomness!

A look inside your GM’s mind!*

What they say:
X, it has been brought to our attention that your behavior during Y incident was not really becoming.  Comments like _____ can be construed as inflammatory.  Please try to chill the fuck out, okay?

What they think: FUCK WHY THE HELL CAN’T I GKICK YOU, YOU JIZZ GARGLING DRAMA MONGER.

*This was culled from an old draft and was not caused by recent events. 

Search Terms:

Why do I have an incoming search term that is…”incoming search terms”?

“don’t gank a prot paladin”  No, you’d be wasting your time!

“good food vs junk food by a venn diagram”  but good food IS junk food?  Unless you meant healthy food, in which case…I am not the person to help you.

“yell yeah”  …WHAT?

“how to use burning bile debuff”  Hug the person with paralytic poison!

“blaming DPS on raid wipe”  ALL THE TIME.

“what the fuck is my gearscore .com”  ….hahaha.

“can bubbles crit?”  The HEAL off the glyph can.

“things your pug healer want you to know”  please for the love of god don’t stand in–damn it.

“twatwaffle douchecanoe”  I use these words too much, don’t I?

“ilike to fuck my sister in law” …what is this I don’t even

“what does a disc priest do in raid”  …bubble?

“lk fight how to know if defile is on you” …um.  That big black puddle?  Yeah.  That.

“we didn’t stand in the fire”  CONGRATS.

“where do shields drop for holy paladins”  they don’t.

“wow how to kill holy pally”  Silence.

“{searchterms}fuck”  …huh?

“mind sear is awesome”  ABSOLUTELY.  MOAR MINDSEAR!!!!!

“wow things you dont stand in” = things on floor

“warriors always ruin my bubble hearth” ….yeah that bubble  dispell is a bitch isn’t it?

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I…wait, what did he just say?

I know I can be dirty as hell, but damn. Poor Argent Squire.

Genuine Post with Actual Content (TM) coming later today or tomorrow!

ETA: Ky would like you to know that Ky took this screen shot.  :P

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6 Comments

Special Cookie of the Week

I’m well familar with fail pugs, especially now that my tree is in that span of levels that throws shiny new DKs at me.

I’ve zoned in, in cat form, and had them pull before I could switch specs.  Or regain mana.  Or even switch to the proper gear.  I’ve had them ignore my pleas for mana, chain pull as I try to drink, and then die and leave group in a huff.  That’s almost normal for me at this point.  I even had all of that in one group yesterday, but that’s not what I’m really posting about today…because that was not the Crowning Moment of Fail.

No, the crowning moment of fail came at the end of the instance, when I rolled on–and won–a ring.

O.o

o.O

O.O

>.<

What the fuck?!  Man, I wish I was healing you with tree punches…to the face.  It’s one thing to not know the nuances of classes I don’t play.  I don’t even know the nuances of other specs of classes I DO play.  But to insist that a resto druid doesn’t use spell power?   What?  Where have you been, sirrah? 

“lol omg your gonna pull that one”
That one what?  Have other people told you that rest druids use spell power before?  Have you stopped to consider that IT MAY BE BECUASE THEY’RE FUCKING CASTERS AND USE FUCKING SPELLPOWER?

“I got a 80.”  I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING, FUCK YEAH.

/boggle

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Random Observations

Random Observation One:
Getting a level 58ish group together, having it mostly cosist of new DKs, and having them all try to tank in their very untankish gear never works very well.  If the healer ends up tanking it’s bad, mmkay?

Random Observation Two:
Holy shit what the fuck did they do to Icy Touch oh my god fuck shit damn.
New name: Icy Sodomy, or Icy Dickpunch?  We can’t decide.

Random Observation Three:
Festergut is a cheap worn out cum guzzling cock monger twatwaffle douchecanoe asshat and can die in a fire while having a splintery stick shoved up his ass sans lube.

Sub 1% wipe kjashdajsdhjhdkjahsdhak.

Random Observation Four:
I don’t think that a happy middle ground for hit exists.  Either I barely have enough, or I have so much I don’t know what to do with myself.  God damn it.

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