Posts Tagged …you stood in the fire didn’t you

The Joys of Random Pugging

Edit: Broken recount is broken.  So let’s address the rest of the fail, because that’s still perfectly valid.  :P

If you don’t know an instance, speak up.   Better you ask than have your healer screaming obscenities at you IRL.  I mean sure, I’ll wonder inwardly how the hell you don’t know NEXUS, but that’s better than calling you a douchenozzle becuase you’re making my life insanely difficult, right?  I’ve had several cases of DPS wiping groups because they didn’t know fights already (though it makes more sense in the new heroics).  Bwuh?  ASK, PEOPLE.  At least for the new heroics, I stop and ask if people know the fights first.  If you don’t answer and then wipe us with something stupid, I’m going to be pissy. 

If a boss has spell reflect, it behooves you to notice your own dots stacking up on you and STOP.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP.  If you keep taking a ton of damage, your healer is screaming JUMP at you in party, and you notice a stacking debuff?  Yeah.  Do it.  Please.

Speaking of heroic fails, my lovely tank healing, high crit, low haste build?  Yeah, it fucking sucks for heroics.  Oh the normal ones are fine, but if you get in the new ones with even a semi-derp derp group?  Yeah, kiss your sanity goodbye.  You can’t have low DPS in there.  You just can’t.  I know this because I tried.  And I couldn’t just group kick because they were guildies.  Bwuh.

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How to PROPERLY Place Blame

I was sitting there innocently wasting time in Twitter instead of blogging or working on my Nano outline when lo, this post came to my attention.  I read it over and immediately noticed a massive problem: he was always blaming the wrong people.  I decided that it was my DUTY to set the record straight.

ETA: Don’t forget to check out other versions here and here.

Here, then, is a CORRECTED version of Mortigan’s list:

Amber’s Totally Fair and Unbiased Guide to Placing the Blame for Wipes


Cause of Wipe: The tank appears to be losing aggro left and right! 
Person to Blame:  The DPS
Possible Solutions:  First, cuss at them a lot and remind them to LOOK AT OMEN.  If they would just LOOK AT OMEN, then we wouldn’t have this problem.  CLEARLY, any and all aggro issues lay at the feet of the DPS.  I mean, they’re making it, right?  Totally their problem.  If that doesn’t work, take away the shamans weapons and make him DPS with mining picks.*

Cause of Wipe: The tank dies.
Person to Blame:  The DPS
Possible Solutions:  Clearly, the tank died because the DPS took too long to kill the boss and the healer went OOM.

Cause of Wipe: Boss immediately ignores tank and 1-shots the DPSers.
Person to Blame:  DPS
Possible Solutions:  Uh, DON’T STAND THERE, tardbuckets.

Cause of Wipe: The healer dies.
Person to Blame:  The DPS
Possible Solutions:  Misdirect onto the tanks correctly, hunters, or drop a frost trap!  AoE the adds down quicker! 

Cause of Wipe: The adds are killing everyone.
Person to Blame:  The DPS
Possible Solutions:  If you KILLED the adds then they couldn’t kill  YOU.  See also: previous wipe.  Alternatively, if you weren’t standing in fires all the time, the healers would still have mana with which to heal your legitimate ailments.

Cause of Wipe: The DPS is too low, and the boss enrages.
Person to Blame:  …the DPS!
Possible Solutions:  MASH BUTTONS FASTER AND WITH LESS FAIL.

Cause of Wipe:  People don’t know the fights.
Person to Blame:  the DPS
Possible Solutions:  Tanking and healing are very similar from fight to fight.  CLEARLY, if the strats are being mucked up it’s the DPS’s fault, because they don’t know what the hell they’re doing!  Go read strats, nubs!

*We honestly did this back in Kara.

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Why’d I sign on for this job, again?

So last night, not only did we fail to reassemble our Ulduar25, but we then proceeded to wipe in Naxx.  Wipe in Naxx. 

Now, let me paint the scene for you: your GM and an officer, or two thirds of your tanks if you will, have worked lots of OT lately.  They didn’t have a weekend.  They are tired and cranky as all get out, and one of them is already such a cranky pants that his guild note is actually Cranky Tank.  Your healing lead and recruitment officer is not only feeling the weight of OMG NEED MORE PEOPLE ITS MY JOB TO FIX IT HALP, but she’s in a simmering PMS induced rage caused by merely existing.  Next thing you know, asking for a fort buff AFTER I’VE ALREADY BUFFED WHY THE FUCK DID YOU AFK OUT OF RANGE ANYWAY JACKASS is a major offense, and wiping on 4H is the end  of the WORLD.

…that was BoO last night.  We had a bunch of people that joined us because they wanted to raid, and then they failed to sign up and blew us off when asked for dailies and regular UK.  The rage build up is pretty high amongst the leadership and we’re facing a mass gkick.  Of course, since they haven’t been raiding with us anyway, it’s not like it’ll hurt us.  It’s just one more annoyance.

It’s not guild destroying, but it’s one of those lay low weeks, you know?  I’ve gone and spruced up and reposted our recruitment posts, so I’m going to cross our fingers and hope we get some nibbles.  Our DPS and healing cores need a good boost.  I hate when it’s attendance issues that get us because my mind instantly dumps all the pressure on me.  Bleh!

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Here’s MY Speculation

Blah blah blah, MMO champion, “reliable” sources, spoilers, blah blah.

…night elf mages?

What the HELL?

Oh why don’t you just fuck lore up the ass without lube why don’t you?

I mean I wanted Tauren priests, sure, but…   /splutters

/crosses her arms

This had better be either a total load of shit, or Blizzard had better whip some really good explanations up.

(this fail post brought to you by More Work)

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