Posts Tagged Zoja is a nub

Mm, mini-vacations

I didn’t post yesterday because I was running around Six Flags instead of being at work.  Wee!  I’m still not at work, but I’ve a nice collection of random commentary for you now.  Aren’t you excited?

Post-patch fun continues!  In Ulduar on Wednesday night, no less than 3 people who ran back to get the harpoons were killed by 2-3 fireballs in quick succession.  I have no idea what the hell that was about.  XT, naturally, obliterated us and that was that until Monday.

On our first foray into the new 5 man on normal, Zoja forgot that he was in arms spec.  Arms tanking doesn’t go very well, by the way.  The mage (who is misidentified in the intro as a paladin) also loves ignoring the tank and pelting me with fireballs.   I’m starting to sense this theme, with fireballs…

Did you know that you DPS better as shadow in shadowform?!?!?!  I apparently totally forgot this for part of a heroic.  Fuck yeah, I’m awesome.

Apparently some of the competitors don’t appreciate you getting loot for besting them, and after the others have left the ring will remount and trample you all until you manage to flee.

I’ll try to get a Flowchart up today, but try is the key word there.

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Monday Randomness

Let’s say that you have a small windfall of gold.  Do you buy dual spec for your alts?  Put it towards epic flying for an alt?

Oh hell no, you go buy that gryphon that you’ve lusted after ever since you were a wee 72 and saw it in Wintergarde.  YAY EPIC WHITE BIRDY.  I’m happy now.  :D  I still refuse to dual spec holy for fear that I will end up repeatedly healing on her.  NO.  NO MORE PALLY HEALS. 

Now I’m back to hoarding gold like a miser “just in case”.   Of…what?  I don’t know, but…just in case.

I spent a good bit of time leveling the hunter, because Steve was harassing me to.  I love the Tadpoles quest so…so much.  I will sit there and click on them over and over and over and over!  In fact on Lyr, I have a macro set up to make the baby murloc noise every time she eats mage food.  I will eat magefood for no damned reason. 

Jamethera dinged 72 while out there as well.  8 more to go!  Replacing hard-won epics still makes me sad, by the way.  I’m tempted to put my t4 gloves back on for the sake of matching until someone finally pries the entire set away from me.

After discovering that my devilsaur Omnomnom isn’t always the best choice for elite tanking, I went out and tamed a tanking pet, since everything else in my collection was DPS.

In actuality, I just wanted to tame a tank pet and name it Josh.  The choice of a crab is not entirely without forethought and snickering.  Cranky tank is cranky!  See what I’m reduced to using for a tank when you quit the game, Josh?  Shame on you.

 Dual spec for the hunter is currently being mulled over-for now it would be dual BM spec (one DPS BM and one LOL SOLOING THINGS I SHOULDN’T BE pet tank build) until 80, in which case it’d be…well, BM and Surv.  Which I would use only after complaining bitterly.   BITTERLY I TELL YOU.  I was BM before the first hunter talent review, and I’ll be BM when WoW finally bites the dust.  Deal with it.   Knowing me, I will probably be “considering” dual specs for the hunter until she hits 80 and then never do it.

Holy shit, it’s Kyr’s priest not in shadow form!  I had no idea what Maedchen looked like before.  Ky was trying out the Fail Angel spec for only the second time, I believe.  Add that to my scrub faceroll tanking, and naturally we got a bugged portal in H VH that continued to spit adds at us.  GG, Blizz. 

I did not ignore my warrior over the weekend-in fact, I finally took her through The Epic Questline.  The best part was 1) she’s on an RP server and 2) I had an audience.  For those of you who do have not had the pleasure of meeting Lyestra IC, you’re missing something.  Take the general angry ranty-ness you can find here, and make it dialogue for a temperamental Kaldorei warrior.  She really, really didn’t like being yanked around by “over sized fleshbags.”

And yes, I know I spelled shield wrong.  I do it every.  Single.  Time.  Sigh…

Anyway.  Since our Naxx raid ID was ninja’d, we got the bright idea to go do BWL.  Only in the process of attuning people, we bugged the quest out, so…we decided to go do Molten Core instead. 


I don’t recommend pulling Shazz and Baron Geddon at the same time, BTW.  Doing so can still cause you to wipe in MC at 80.   Also, I need to tweak Ambrosyne’s UI…I started to tweak it to match Lyr’s and then never finished.  Nice to see that I was “tanking” without RF there, too.  MC is serious business, yo.

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When the Other Half Stops Playing

Over the weekend, Josh decided that he’s had it with WoW.  He didn’t unsub, but he’s not an officer anymore, he’s not raiding, and hasn’t logged on in days. 

Am I upset?  Fuck yes I am.

There is, of course, the slight feeling of panic that any raider feels when their best tank up and leaves.  It’s not that our other tanks are bad.  They just don’t have the time on the job that my Josh does, having converted to tanking from other class, or simply having joined post-Vanilla WoW.

But it was also easier on us as a couple, raiding together.  It was something to do together-I can’t say I’m a fan of most of the games that he favors.  I’m mostly dead weight in FPS games co-op modes-I can’t aim worth shit.  I stare at Eve blankly and decide that I’d rather fire pew pew healing lasers, not railguns.   I played Castle Crashers last night with him and ate a lot of floor-is that what being a rogue is like?  So I’ll miss playing WoW with him, as it’s one of the few games that we both play that I can claim some skill at.

It also makes me nostalgic.  I met him playing this game, after all.  I think that I’ll even be a little sad when I leave WoW behind myself, because it brought so much to my life-good and bad.  More good than bad-yeah it’s been a time sink, but sometimes I needed that time sunk.

…blah.  So many scrub tanks to polish, to try to take his place…



Letters from Ulduar

Dear ___: Open Letters To My Guild Mates, or Why Amber Goes Insane

Dear DPS on Iron Council,

Don’t stand over there.  I can’t heal you.  I kind of need to stand near my tank, and my tank kind of needs to stand over here.

Okay, so you’re now standing in such a way that my green box is lit up.  I can heal you and you can stop bitching about not getting heals.  Cool!  …do you wanna come closer for Power Infusion? 

Sometimes we’re kinda busy, and when dickhead over there refuses to move out of the blue circle and starts shitting lightning everywhere, it’s…well…ouchy.  But our holy priest has this nifty thing called a lightwell!  It’s sitting right there!  …why is the holy pally the only one near it?

…I still can’t reach you with PI, you know.  Oh well, your DPS loss.  I’ll keep it for myself.

…why the fuck are you all the way on the opposite side of the room again?

Weeping silently, on the inside,
-your healer


Dear DK Tank,

I’m standing on the left.  You keep running away from Overload (or whatever)…to the right.  WHY?
I have a heart attack every time your box goes gray.

Weeping less silently on the inside now,
-your healer


Dear Josh,

My beloved.  You have tanked for me for years.  I am comfortable with your ways.  I know you are a clever, clever tank-one who will use his cooldowns, not run out of range, wait for my mana, and gather up all the adds that love to come give me hugs.


Is well past weeping and now sobbing,
-your healer*
*this is a post in and of itself


Dear GM,

No, I don’t want to heal without replen on Iron Council.
No, I really don’t.
Yes, my mana bar does get kicked in the nuts.
Yes, it is kind of important. 
No, I don’t think that having the Surv hunter go MM to help the DK tank kick that damn boss out of the blue runes will make up for the lack of replen. 
The whole instance is designed ar-

-your healer


Dear fellow priest,

Thank you, Ron, for displaying mana regen meters and explaining to Mach why no replen is Bad.  I will refrain from killing people for yet another day.

Love and butterflies,
-the bubble dispenser


And last but not least, a tidbit from the Hodir attempts:
“Why the hell did you die like that, Atropus?”
“…oh!  I wasn’t jumping!”

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Less Bubbles, More Hammers

So Tuesday night I said, “Alright, let’s go tackle normal Halls of Lightning on Ambrosyne.  I should be able to tank a normal alright, and it drops a trinket I need because I’m still toting around a level 68 blue.”

I couldn’t find DPS for the LIFE of me.  It was just me, Kyr on his shaman, and some hapless level 75 warlock.  My attempts at prodding LFG for DPS resulted in a random DK telling me that if I couldn’t find DPS I was fail. 

…because trolling LFG on a DK is totally cool, amirite? 

Anyway, I ended up batting my eyes at Josh and getting him to drag his DK along.  I didn’t think it would be so bad…I mean, it was a NORMAL instance.  I basically knew how to tank, I mean I MT’d/OT’d Kara and OT’d Gruuls and SSC on this toon, right?  And I had a 76 prot warrior!  I’d be fine!  I had some purples, Drake was in purples, fuck it we’d 4 man the place.

…did I mention that Ky hadn’t done much healing on his shaman yet?

There’s a saying among horsefolk about what happen when you throw a green rider on a green horse.  It results in black and blue.  Throw a nubtank and a nubhealer together, no matter how otherwise skilled and familiar with the role they may be, and you get…a normal instance run worth 24g in repairs.


Though someone needs to explain to me how the first boss wiped us twice, only for us to one shot Loken.  …seriously?  How is “run out of whirlwind” harder than “run out of nova”? 

Also, did you know that a 75 warlock in HoL has an aggro radius the size of Jupiter?!  Nothing like tanking the gauntlet adds on the stairs only to also get BOTH add packs on the sides.  Thank god for paladins, the Class That Won’t Fucking Die.  We had a ret pally with us for a very brief time, before he…disconnected, and he had the presence of mind to heal me some.  Such a shame he had…internet troubles.

Josh, in his infinite wisdom (and, perhaps, because I dragged him out of Eve for this madness), decided that since HE had to learn tanking via coping with stupid people, so would I.  He then proceeded to be that DK that every tank hates, death grip pulls and all.  I may or may not have called him a “cuntbucket”. 

Regardless, that was my first attempt at tanking again.  Last night was a raid night, so no more tanking practice there…and Thursday is the Naxx I signed up to OT for.

…this will be FUN!

Also – Amber Thinks These Posts Are Cool:
Flowcharts are Contagious(Pally Tank Gemming)
I just love top ten lists!
Matty tells us how to wipe in Ulduar

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Screen Shots IRL

So we had a guild gathering yesterday, in which 11 or so of us plus some random friends got together.

Naturally we were all prepared.  Most of this collection belongs to me, Josh, and our GM.  That may or may not indicate something about the stresses of guild leadership.

Anyway.  Two of our guildies decided to get married while they were in town, so some of us went with.  Congrats, Randy and Michelle!  …now Randy, get your feathered ass back in our raids so I can have my crit buff!

Some of the guests, for some reason, really wanted to have working computers.  So here’s teh Josh/Zoja, one of our intrepid warriors and my pet tank, beating one of the computers into submission.  I say nothing about the wallpaper on the other computer.  Nothing.

At some point we poked the TV to watch movies…and dug up a delightful fragment of our childhood.

While I did not relinquish my camera, I did at some point decide that taking a Myspace style photo of myself wouldn’t hurt the poor thing:

And yes, that really is me!  If I was going to steal someone else’s photos, I would steal photos of someone without terribad acne scarring.  And better behaving hair.  Anyway.

I took elenvtybillion photos, but I can’t say that my guildies will naturally care for my splattering their pictures across my blog here, so I’ll save those for our forums.  But this is what’s eaten my WoW time this weekend…and put me behind in my AT dailies, o noes!

Good thing I have my Monday post started already, for once!

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Halp I’ve Been Nerfed? – Last Night’s Ulduar

Ron warned me that he’d run a thing or two since the patch in which we’d been sneakily nerfed, and that he’d definitely had more mana issues.  I walked into Ulduar blind, and…didn’t feel phased.  Did I have issues?  Yes.  Were they terrible?  Not so much.  I’d use my shadow fiend at 75% mana,  pop a mana pot later if I had to, and then if things got drastic later in the fight, I usually had either my shadow fiend back or found a chance to use Hymn of Hope.  Perhaps it is my dusty memories of 15 minute boss fights that enables me to smothly adjust, and plan accordingly.  I know I love having all these tricks up my sleeve.

Group 2’s composition was shuffled more than slightly, due more to availability than anything else.  It was very good to be raiding with Josh again.  As he explained fights on vent, I abused /rw to clarify points, add things he didn’t think of/forgot, or playfully mocked people. 

Healing assignments always feel vaguely silly on 10 mans, but we’ve settled into the same pattern for both raids: holy paladin on the tank, raid healer (druid or holy priest, mostly) on the…well, raid, and the disc priest playing a back-up role in which we bubble every damn thing and use penance to save the day. 

One of the largest problems I had with healing in Ulduar was…range.  I think that for XT, the raid healer and I will have to be more conscious of splitting the room in half, so to speak.  We lost more than one DPS to their being our of range at the wrong moment.  I’m not sure how to explain my death on our successful attempt, except to say that bombs should not blow up next to me when I’m low on health.  :(  Range was also an issue with Ignis for the people taking care of the adds.   Having to move makes me all the more glad for PW:S, renew, and penance.

Rorfax and I also found it helpful, for fights like XT with periods of raid-wide AoE damage (Tantrum), to assign ourselves to groups to heal up so that we weren’t overlapping each other while the other five people died.   Of course then I’d go to toss my PoH and half my group would be out of range, but that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish.

I also tossed bunny ears on Kyr a couple of times just because I could.  This was not at all helpful, except perhaps to (my) morale.  :)

Ignis.  Oh, Ignis.  We downed Lootmobile, Razor, and XT, only to run into the wall that was Ignis.  While this was good progress for group two, here’s what I think of Ignis and his vibrating crotch pot:

I mean seriously, Blizzard.  Vibrating crotch pot.  I was also dismayed to find out that achievements conveniently cover MY ENTIRE GRID SET UP.  Must…turn…that shit…off.   It did do something for the old joke of calling Hot Pocket’s Molten Magma Pockets, though. 

Also, I do not like having two firey tornados chasing me away from my tank.  It makes it very hard to heal said tank.  >:|  We’ll not mention the unpleasant memories of the Great Tornado Gang Bang of Zul’Aman that were dredged up, either.   Grrr, trash wipes.

We ended up 2 bosses “behind” group 1, but my frustration is much lessened.  I figure at some point that perhaps they’ll hit a wall that won’t bother us so much, and beat them to the punch on something.  :)

And of course, this is what we’ll tell Ignis on Monday:

ETA random!

You know I completely forgot what I had the Zoja is a nub tag on here for until just now: I wanted to share fellow guildie sillyness.  Last week in Ulduar, Zoja switch to arms for trash and and then went to tank a boss…and everyone wanted to know why Mortal Strike was up on him.  Hmmmm.  I wonder.  :D  At least I had my mace out this time.

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Leadership = Logic Puzzle?

A man has to get a fox, a chicken, and a sack of corn across a river.
He has a rowboat, and it can only carry him and one other thing.
If the fox and the chicken are left together, the fox will eat the chicken.
If the chicken and the corn is left together, the chicken will eat the corn.
How does the man do it?

You need two Ulduar groups.  The following conditions apply:

Warrior Tank 1 (WT1) doesnt’ want to raid without Disc Priest (DP). 
Paladin Tank (PT) wants to tank with WT1.
Death Knight Tank (DT) wants to be in a group with either WT1, DP, or PT.
Warrior Tank 2 (WT2) doesn’t give a shit and has no idea this clusterfuck even exists.
PT will tank with DT if he has to, but does not want to tank with WT2.

Following me so far?  If not, don’t worry.  That list above makes my fucking head hurt, because it’s essentially an unsolvable puzzle.

The current groups are:
PT + WT1
DK + WT2 + DP

This violates Condition #1, however, and neither Zoja nor myself are very happy.  While Atropus and I work great together, I have to live with Zoja and listen to him bitch about being in a different group. 

My Proposed Solution:
PT + WT2 + one of the twins that also serve as officers so that he is not the “only” officer in the raid. 
WT1 + DT + DP so that Atropus is raiding with his friends and the couple can continue to function as the pair that they are (did Zoja go AFK without warning?  I’ll will let you know!  Is Zoja alt tabbed looking at 4chan?  I will turn around let him know you’re pulling!  Do we for some reason want to talk to each other?  We can do so without the constant interruption of both vent channels!)  Yes, Zoja and Steve tank GREAT together.  But Zoja and I heal/tank GREAT together.  I’ve been healing him since Molten fucking Core-with NO other tank do I have that instinctive understanding.  Which synergy is more important?

But this violates Condition #5, which exists because…I don’t know, Steve is a dick or something.

Other possibilities:

WT1 + WT2 + DP = why the fuck do we have two warriors in the same group, reducing diversity and also increasing gear competition?

DT + WT2 = why the fuck do we have the two least experienced tanks together?!?!?!  I love them both, don’t get me wrong, but Atropus  is a “new main” and he didn’t tank with his old one.  Wreckz is also a “new main” and while he DID tank on his old toon, pally tanking =/= warrior tanking.  Not a good pairing for progression content.

Also, the Zoja/Josh + Steve pairing seems to conjure in everyone’s minds the idea that their group is the “good” group.   It doesn’t seem to matter that just as many officers are in each group, “clearly” the GM will be in the “best” group, along with his best friend.  Never mind that we have some of the best DPS and some of the best healers, we “must” be the “leftovers” group because “they” aren’t in it.


This attitude was emphasized by the fact that group 1 downed the Lootmoble, one shotted Razorscale, and then two shotted XT.  Group 2 downed Lootmobile and proceeded to wipe 6 times on Razorscale until the holy priest DC’d, couldn’t get back in, and we had to call it a night half an hour early.  While I put on my Sunshine Hat and praised everyone for visible improvement on every attempt (true!  We might well have had her if not for the fateful DC), inside I couldn’t help but me a smidge bitter.

Steve seems to think we can compromise by rotating, but rotating is hell on progression.

I…don’t know what to do, to be honest.  My proposed solution is neatly cockblocked by Steve going “But I don’t WANT to tank with Wreckz!”



Off to take a more logical version of this to the officer forums!  I just felt like sharing my pain, apparently…

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Monday Reflections

The Brotherhood of Oblivion made it’s first, tenative foray into Ulduar on Sunday.  We weren’t in there as long as I’d like because our warrior MT is back into his WoW-hating phase (and I will hate Steve for eternity for getting him into Eve) and we lost a healer after only one  miserable Razorscale attempt due to IRL.   It was just an unscheduled “exploratory” run, though.

The first person to die in a fire?  Oh yeah.  That was me.  But the second person was Ron, so I felt instantly better!

Speaking of The Amazing Ron, I owe him 400g for scooping a Penance glyph off the AH for me.  Some Inscriptionist is now very happy.  >:|  Nothing like being the only person on the server with that glyph…

I’ve yet to truly test it, however-only got it yesterday and didn’t live long enough to try it out in Ulduar!  I’ve been enjoying face melting, however.  I can break 2k if I’m lucky and not nubbing it up.  I haven’t been caster DPS since I abandoned my poor mage ages and ages ago.

Flame Levithan died after only a couple of attempts, but someone made the mistake of putting me in charge of flinging people.  Rorfax was promptly flung to his death on the second try because I apparently can’t aim.  We’ll see how eager he is to heal with me from here on out…

We’ll wrangle with Naxx25 tonight, and I’ll be able to get a better feel for disc post 3.1 then. 

I had a dose of pally healing post 3.1 last night, in a guild-run VoA 10.  I promptly started bitching about single target Sacred Shield, because I kept forgetting.  I also nearly went oom keeping up our off tank, because hell those adds hit hard.  He died though, which is better than I’ve seen from pugs!

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Random rants are random.

So last night’s Naxx run was…uh…

…not great.  It started off with Zoja-aka mah Josh-running late, because he hadn’t fully gotten his new computer up and running yet.

“Didn’t he have time between getting home and the raid, Amber?”

Well, yeah, but I took it.  So there.  Josh is a smart man and knows that I win, even over a shiny new computer that gets like 80 fps in Naxx25 (I hate you, Josh).

So anyway, he was installing vent and stuff and running a bit behind.  We also had a couple of no shows, and Steve morphed into CRANKY STEVE.  There’s something about a cranky GM that’s contagious, unfortunately, and I had to…gently remind…one of our officers that yelling shut up over vent wasn’t terribly conductive.  Despite the air of stupid in the raid that night, we weren’t quite that bad. 

Not to say that I was not cranky.  I was cranky, trust me.  Do you know how to make a healer cranky?  Let me tell you a few ways:

-Say sarcastically after a wipe: “Thanks for the heals.”
One of our DPS did this last night, and it’s just as well we only did one boss after that because he entered the No Heals For You Zone.  Where the fuck was the DPS, man?  If you’d killed it faster you totally wouldn’t have needed heals!  It was an accidental double pull in this case (to my understanding-this healer was hanging around the boss for lewtz).  When extra mobs are pulled, who tends to die first?  If you guessed THE HEALERS, then CONGRATS YOU WIN!!!!  Seriously, what the hell?  I again “gently” reminded people not to make those sort of remarks.

-Say, on the Dance Master Boss, that you need cleanses.
No shit?  So do a dozen other people.  Bite me.  
It would go faster if all the healers were actually cleansing, but that’s another kettle of fish.  

Also, touching upon the whole raiding with a significant other topic: I am not his fucking babysitter.  Dating a raid leader and tank apparently has its issues.

Where is he?  What, do I look like a Josh GPS Tracker?  I don’t know-he got up and left the room.  He mentioned getting food, didn’t he?  Then he’s probably in the kitchen!   I don’t feel the need to give minute by minute Josh Updates to the five people who whisper me.  

Is he going to dock his own DKP for being late?  No, he’s totally going to be a douche and abuse the fact that he is Teh DKP Mastah by breaking his own damn rules!  For some reason being asked that irritated the ever living shit out of me.  Actually, I know the reason, and it has to do with people essentially questioning the integrity of my boyfriend.   DIAF.  Yes, I know he’s sometimes a tardbucket.  He’s the Most Awesome Ever Boyfriend, but not always the Most Awesome Ever Raid Leader.  Deal.  Still, he’s not going to abuse the system that way.

Is he alt tabbed again? Yeah, probably.  He’s like a hyperactive little kid sometimes-always has to be doing something.  Seriously, I left him alone in the car once to do something real quick and I came back to find that he’d taken apart his dashboard.  The guy is wickedsmart, but that also means that any idle time-even in raids-finds his attention wandering.   Don’t worry, I am here for you to turn to whenever he doesn’t instantly respond to-wait, what?  No!  Leave me the fuck alone!  I am not his god damned answering service! 

Whatever, I got the Forethought Talisman last night.  Woo!

Roughly What Happened In Healer Channel, As Bids Go In
Me: It’s really hard not to turn around and look at your bids, guys!  XD
Kyr: If you win it…
Me:  >.>
Lyrandre receives item: Forethought Talisman
Me: <.<

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